When Prayer and Computer Tech cross the line

http://www.informationageprayer.com/

(From the website):

Information Age Prayer is a subscription service utilizing a computer with text-to-speech capability to incant your prayers each day.

And thus we remove the whole purpose of prayer.

Prayer is not about "incanting" a rote formula each day. As my husband says, that's magic, not prayer. Prayer is about a relationships between the person praying and the Creator. It's about communication with heart and soul as well as words.

So why have rote prayers at all?

--For the times when your own words don't come easily.
--For an aid to memory or meditation. For example, the rosary is not so much about reciting a bunch of "Hail Mary"s. When done right, it's a meditation on the life of Jesus as seen through the eyes of his mother. The prayers are there for rhythm, for concentration and to remind us of Jesus's humanity as well as his divinity.
--Because sometimes other just say it better. Once upon a time, it was considered flattering and even romantic to seranade your loved one with a song or a poem. Now, we give each other cards.

God doesn't want you paying someone to fill the ether or cyberspace with a lot of words because you're too busy to give Him a few minutes a day. God wants YOU, talking to Him, sharing with Him, speaking and being ready to listen.

Give Him your time; don't give your money to some automated prayer site. That's missing the point.

BTW, any Catholics reading this are welcome to join the Catholic Writers Guild Prayer Chat every weekday at 12 EDT. Yeah, it's on-line, but we're the ones gathering and praying, not some recording.

Character- and world- building interdependent

When it comes down to it, I'm more of a character writer than an idea, plot, or world writer; however, in a world like my DragonEye, PI, world, the two are very interdependent. The characters build the world, yet the world defines the characters, and the plot and ideas tell me what characters need to make an appearance.

For example, in Magic, Mensa and Mayhem, I needed someone to do some discreet searching--and if they could botch the job in a funny way, all the better. We all know the legend of the brownies--the Shoemaker and the Elves, the brownies who are supposed to clean your house for milk, there are plenty of legends, stories, even filk songs. I decided it'd be fun to have the brownies search and, as long as they were in the area, do what comes natural and clean, fix and finish things. Sometimes, that's a big help; sometimes, it's an annoyance, like when they re-arrange things to their logic, not yours. (Kind of like when your mother offers to do your dishes and puts things away according to where she'd put them.) Sometimes, it's a pain, like when they finish your crossword puzzle book. Sometimes, as artiste Melchoir Rawlings discovered, they decide for you your work isn't finished. ("My art! My beautiful art. Oh, it's too much to process! Deep breaths, deep breaths!")

So now I have good-intentioned, havoc-wrecking, independent-minded brownies loose with people who'd love to capture, hire or exterminate them. I have to keep them safe!

Here's where the worldbuilding comes in. I started with an idea I got from someone's terrific effort of explaining Santa Claus's Christmas deliveries: Santa operates in a state of quantum flux that allows him to be in constant motion. The reason you can't see him on Christmas Eve, is the idea that you can either know his position or his motion; so, if you see him, you know where he is; he can no longer be in motion and the whole quantum flux things ends with you getting coal in your stocking.
That's a pretty bad explanation of something I read several years ago, but it was enough to apply to the brownies: They operate in our dimension in a state of flux, so you can only know the things they've done. You can't observe what they are doing directly. Further, if you know you are seeing a brownie in action, that belief plays into it, too. Based on that, I set up the rules of the brownie world.

And then the story demanded that I find a way around them. So I decided to play heavily on the uncertainty principle and the idea that you can observe the effects as long as you don't observe them. And I came up with Schrödinger the Cat purse. Shro' is a play off a Japanese legend that the souls of cats can come back as other things--in this case, a purse that a Mundane Japanese woman purchased of the Interdimensional Internet. Which meant hammering out the idea of Interdimensional trade (the details of which are still fuzzy, mind you), plus the whole InterDimNet, which brings up some fun in the next novel...

So, plot breeds character, character breeds world, world influences plot, while at the same time develops the characters.

Welcome to the inner workings of my mind!

BTW, I've posted the chat transcripts for last night's worldbuilding seminar and the launch party at www.fabianspace.com. Check out the news section on the homepage for the links.

One race--human!

For most of my adult life, I've had a problem with the idea that I need to be defined by my race. Maybe it's because I'm such a mix--everything from Scotch-Irish to Hispanic to Native American. Or maybe because my parents taught me that who I am is defined by what I do, not who my ancestors are. Or maybe it's because I want to look forward at what we can become instead of back at what we were.

I also detest the "victim of race" mentality that I think hinders many people more than their actual race does. Socio-economic factors, not racial ones, have a greater effect on advancement in our society today. However, until we get past the concept of race, we don't be able to fully concentrate on those issues, which affect people of all races.

So that's why yesterday, this article made me smile. Edward James Olmos was part of a panel about Battlestar Galactica being held at the UN. (Glad to see the UN being useful.) This is from the Entertainment Weekly article:

When one of the UN's representatives talked about how part of their mandate was to safeguard the human rights of everyone, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, and station, Olmos got a little heated. "You never should've invited me here," he said, before blasting the UN for continuing to use race as a term of separation, of division among peoples. His voice rose, steadily, as if years of social activism was coming to a head on this night. Then, directing his attention to the high schoolers: "Adults will never be able to stop using the word 'race' as a cultural determinant....There is only one race: the human race. SO SAY WE ALL!"

I swear to you, everyone in that chamber shouted it right back at him.

Sadly the author of the article attributes this to the fact that "Captain Adama asked us to." I think he missed the point.

I think most, at least, shouted back because they know he was right.

So say we all!

My Novel's Journey: the Dragon and the Prairie Dawg

Magic, Mensa and Mayhem started out as a lark and a favor returned for a favor given.
I was working on a story I'd hoped to sell to the anthology Ten Plagues. It sprung from combining the Plague of locusts with a testimony I'd read about someone who said the fairies had a war behind is house, but in the form of flies. The story turned out great, though it ended up in The Sword Review rather than Ten Plagues. However, "war as insects" sounds really stupid, so I had decided to dress that up by translating it into Gaelic.

I asked around my groups and a friend directed me to Shirley Starke, a Mensan in North Dakota. She gave me the phrase, and I sent her the story as a thank you. She asked if she could run it in the ND Mensa newsletter, The Prairie Dawg. Of course, I had to say no, but a serial story sounded like a fun idea. World Gathering was coming up in Florida that year, so we came up with the idea of the Faerie creature wrecking havoc at a Mensa Convention.

Magic, Mensa and Mayhem was born.

Later, when Dindy Robinson at Swimming Kangaroo asked if I had a DragonEye book, I realized how easy it would be to novelize the serial. It's been an interesting exercise, as the serial, which is done in 1000-word spurts, has fewer characters and complexities, and thus ended up with a different ending as well. On the bright side, you can read and enjoy both on their own terms.

We're wrapping up "Word Gathering: Magic, Mensa and Mayhem" in a couple of months. I think we might go for an "Ask the Dragon" format for awhile. We're still exploring ideas.

Thanks again, Shirley and The Prairie Dawg!

BTW-- Magic, Mensa and Mayhem is now on Amazon!
Print: http://tinyurl.com/mmmamazon
Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/mmmkindle

Thoughts on Form Rejection Letters

I was in a conversation online recently about form rejection letters. The other person was asserting that she put a lot of time and effort into her story, and all she gets is a ready-made form that may not even address her by name.

I agree, that's irritating. However, think about it from the POV of the editors. You are sending out one story you worked on maybe a week or a month. They have to read, evaluate and accept/reject hundreds every month, every week or every day. Plus, they have regular writers to work with, layouts to determine, advertising to coordinate, readers to communicate with... If they didn't use a form letter for those that didn't make the cut--whether because the writing is awful or because they just did a similar article or because it simply doesn't meet their needs--they would never have time to put the magazine together.

Plus, there's another reason some go to form letters--one I've dealt with: the author who argues back. When I put together ISIG I, I wrote personal rejections to every writer. I was not harsh, but I did give them the reason--and not "this was just not well written" but something constructive. I got back argumentative e-mails about how I didn't "understand" their story or arguing the points of their rejection. Imagine getting 10, 20, 100 of those every month. (As for me, I now send a pretty generic letter except in the case where the story is good but doesn't fit our needs, in which case, I can usually recommend a different magazine to submit it to, but I only have to worry about 40 or so submissions over a year.)

Finally, imagine you are applying for a job with 200 applicants and you don't get it. Do you expect the supervisor to write you an encouraging note, critique your interview, and make recommendations? Would you consider them rude if the HR person called and said, "You didn't make it"? For that matter, how often do you simply not hear from the employer if you didn't make it?

We write for the love, yes, but publishing is a business--one where the supply line (stories and authors) is glutted. If editors don't ask us personally to submit, they don't owe us a personal reply.

My Novel's Journey: MM&M--Creating Vern

They say there are no new stories--just new ways of telling the same story. I found this irritatingly true when I was trying to come up with a new dragon story for an anthology called Firestorm of Dragons.

I don't know why, but I felt determined to get into this anthology from DragonMoon, so one afternoon, I cornered my husband and demanded he brainstorm with me. Rob has a brilliant mind; plus, as a cadet, he read every science fiction and fantasy novel in the Air Force Academy library and had been struggling to keep up ever since. If someone had popularized a particular take on dragons, I trusted him to know it.

He did, too. No matter what idea I came up with--from the dragon as a victim to dragon in human form, he remembered someone who'd done it before. After a frustrating half hour of "How about...?" and "Been done," we called a break to go watch TV with the kids.

Our favorite show at the time was Whose Line Is It, Anyway?, a comedy improve, where comedians do skits. Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles have a noir schtick that pokes fun at those movies of hard-boiled PIs of the 40s and 50s. As we sat on the couch laughing, I realized I could write comedy noir--with a dragon! Rob hadn't heard of one, so from there, I started mining the cliché's.

Wrong side of the tracks: Let's put him on the wrong side of the Interdimensional Gap.

Disrespected by authority, unable/unwilling to get an "honest" job: The Gap recently happened, and the two universes don't trust each other. People in the mundane universe especially don't trust a real dragons. One thing's for sure--the US isnt' giving him a Green Card.

Chip on his shoulder: What better for a dragon than a bad run-in with St. George. Of course, our St. George killed dragons, so I decided to twist that. Faerie dragons, I decided, can't die, so George would have to find some other way to inconvenience/incapacitate him. I decided to make Holy Mages, and George put a spell on Vern: he took away all his dragon glory--size, strength, flight, magic, fire--then told him he could earn it back by serving sentient beings under the direction of the Church. (I had no idea then how important this idea would be to the DragonEye, PI, universe.)

From there, I added a damsel in distress, a romantic lead, a diabolical plot, and got "Dragon Eye, PI."

"Dragon Eye, PI" appeared in Firestorm of Dragons--much to my joy!--and I had the opportunity to see how others treated the theme of "dragons." I was floored by the imagination of my fellow contributors.



And I'm so very grateful to editors Michelle Acker and Kirk Dougal, and Gwen Gades, publisher of DragonMoon. I could not have done it without you!

Karina on the KXMC

I'm on TV!

I wasn't able to convert the file, so I've posted it in my Downloads section on Fabianspace.

We're still waiting on cover art for Magic, Mensa and Mayhem, so I took the opportunity to talk about Leaps of Faith instead. Hopefully, I can come back in April before my book signings.

I want to thank Carla Burbidge, the producer and host, not only for having me on the show but for letting me post this to share!

A liberal environmentalist vegetarian memoir

There's been a discussion going in the MuseConference Yahoo! group about the tastefulness of this humorous story by Ben Greenman, "My Holocaust Memoir." Greenman's poking fun at all the hacks who are trying to cash in on the "fact" that holocaust memoirs are trendy. (Something I was not aware of.) In the discussion, my friend, Tanja Cilia commented: Ah, yes, but to grab our attention he chose the Holocaust, and not the mating habits of the lesser-spotted crested pink frog of Filfla...

...which, of course, inspired my own memoir. (Click on the link and read at least the first couple of paragraphs before reading mine.):


I was born in Seattle in 1989. Shortly afterward, in 1971, my entire family was rounded up by Greenpeace and sent to the Seakitten camp, along with tens of other liberal environmental vegetarians for world peace, who hailed principally from Southern California, Oregon and the Latte belt of Washington State, in order to study the mating habits of the lesser-spotted crested pink frog of Filfla. The first few days there, separated from civilization and McDonalds, denied even the most basic Value Meal, I was in a state of shock. I could hardly eat or sleep, and, to make matters worse, I had witnessed the actual mating ritual. I felt screwed. (This would not be the first time that a metaphor appeared in time to help make sense of a difficult situation.) As a teen in Chicago, I spoke about the ritual to everyone. Few understood my plight. Then I met a hot emo named Amalie. She was deathly ill-looking, but I could tell from her pierced eyes that she was kind, and the next week my appraisal was confirmed when she handed me a package wrapped in Kleenex.

It was a set of razor blades. Gillette, the best a man can get.

Whaddya think? Shall I finish it and send it to the New Yorker?

Making Negative Press Positive

I have a book blog, VirtualBookTourdeNet, where I post a cover and short summary of books. I occasionally do interviews and reviews, but in general, it's just a simple way for folks to get their book out in the blogsphere, and for me to return the favor when someone posts about one of my books. It's drawn the attention of some publicity firms, so sometimes I get some pretty high-level books, too, which is neat.
This week, I toured "You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, but You Can't Make Him Think" by Ray Comfort. In addition to the standard info, Ray provided a excerpt from his book, too. The next day, the blog got a comment linking to a video of Ray's "banana proof."

At first, I thought about deleting it--it really was kind of mean-spirited in its approach, and the video is obviously edited for parody--but instead, I passed it on to his publicist to see if Ray wanted to reply. A couple of days later, Ray (through his publicist) posted a very enlightening explanation about "That Dumb Video."

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs--or even what you think of Mr. Comfort's proofs, it's an excellent example of how negative press can actually become positive. Ray has given me permission to reprint that comment here:

For years I have held a coke can in one hand and a banana in the other, and compared the two (I have done this in Yale and other universities when I have spoken on the subject of atheism). Both have a tab at the top. The banana has a wrapper with perforations, is biodegradable, has outward indicators of inward contents--green too early, yellow, just right, black--too late, etc. It was a parody; the point being, if someone designed the coke can then obviously Someone designed the banana.

I put it into a booklet form ("The Atheist Test") and sold over a million copies. Then Kirk Cameron and I put it into our TV program. However, atheists removed the coke can, and sent the clip all over the Internet, saying "Ray Comfort believes that the banana is proof of God's existence." They really made a monkey out of me. I became the laughingstock of atheists all over the atheist world . It was very embarrassing. The below is typical (PZ Myers is a biologist/atheist):

"The banana man thinks he's got atheists on the run. Category: Creationism • Kooks: Ray Comfort has a new site, www.PullThePlugOnAtheism.com It's a series of short pages which consist mainly of plugs for some bad books he is peddling, with a few paragraphs in which he announces a few of his misconceptions about atheism, with the air of one who has trounced every objection. It really is as bad as his pathetic blog."

But here's the amazing irony. Atheists have unwittingly given me a huge international platform. I was interviewed more than 80 times about my new book--including the BBC (worldwide) and The Alan Colmes Show. You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence but You Can't Make Him Think, rocketed up the Amazon.com rankings on its first day of release, moving from No. 69,572 to No. 38 in 24 hours. The book was also the No. 1 book in the categories of religion and atheism on “Darwin Day,” bumping Richard Dawkin’s famous book. Secular radio stations have been extending the length of their interviews because there was such interest in the shows. I have started a daily column for a secular site called Examiner.com (http://www.examiner.com/x-3329-Creationism-Examiner/) in which I am called their "National Creation Examiner." They have thousands of "Examiners" but it seems that (for some unknown reason) quite a few are interested in my column. In the first week, the national average page views for all the Examiners was 2,141. My column was viewed an incredible 12,125 times! So this is a wonderful opportunity to take the gospel to those who normally wouldn't darken the door of a church. Each time the column is viewed, one penny is donated to Children's Hunger Fund (I had them donate it to them). Please feel free to check it out regularly, and at the same time help to feed a hungry child.

I never thought that I would have ever thank God for that dumb banana video, but I truly do. What was intended by atheists for evil, God has turned out for the good.

My Novel's Journey: the Little ReWrite That Grew

2009 has been a flurry of conferences, outside opportunities (i.e. non-writing work), sick family members and things I keep forgetting. I find myself dreaming of an author's getaway. A little hotel room. No internet, no kids, nothing but me and my current WIP. Unfortunately, neither my finances nor my life are suited for such luxuries.

I sure could us it, though. Discovery is giving me fits. I have made one important discovery with it: re-writing a NaNoWriMo draft is not as easy as it looks.

I loved this story when I wrote it in the flurry of a November. I still love the idea, and some of the scenes are terrific. However, I'm finding that there's waaaay too much talking, explaining, rehashing... A couple of the characters have told me their motivations, but like bad actors, appear cardboard in the text.

So the process has literally been write a great scene, rip out a bad one. In four months, I've only progressed 10,000 words. (Consider my usual modus operandi is to write a complete novel in 6 weeks.) I approach the document with dread and moan or snarl as I read the stuff I thought was so clever only three years ago.

So why am I bothering? Why put off my DragonEye novels (GapMan, and Damsels and Knights) to do this? Because there's a story in there--a great story. A story about finding love that transcends romance and living a good life that does more than follow the rules. Sister Rita and James, Chris and Andy, Sister Ann and Sister Tommie are wonderful characters. I want to tell their story.

Wish I could get them all alone in a hotel for a week so we could hammer it out. But it looks like I'll just have to take it one scene at a time.

Magic, Mensa and Mayhem update: Got the colored in cover art. Vern is the wrong color, so I sent a picture of the shades I imagined.

True Love--Faerie and Mundane Style

In honor of Valentine's day, I have two stories to share.

For True Love, Faerie Style, I wrote a funny little story about Cupid's "rampage" on the Los Lagos Mall. Please go on over to DragonEye, PI and check it out!

For True Love--Mundane, I'd like to share this story: Scientists: True love can last a lifetime. Rob and I certainly believe this!

Conventions and Cover art

The Catholic Writers Conference Online was a spectacular success! We had 283 attendees, 48 one-hour chat presentations, 12 week-long forum workshops, 37 pitches given to six publishers and more kudos than I counted. Here's what some folks said:

This is a great conference. It's easy to navigate and your detailed instructions are the best. The downloadable handouts and docs are so easy also. The workshops I've been in are packed with such useful information. I give it an A+.
---Karen Coiff

Great job to all who put this together. The exposure to fellow writers and pros in the field has been immensely positive and helpful to me! I've been amazed at the wealth of information and knowledge available. And to think I didn't have to leave my home! I look forward to next time. Thank you so very much and may God bless you all.
---Katherine Shine

Congratulations on this year's conference. I thought it was very well done. A lot of worthwhile information. You are providing a wonderful service for many, many people.
---Jackie Lindsey, Our Sunday Visitor

We're already hard at work on the Catholic Writers Conference--Live! set for August 5-7. The 2010 CWCO will be Feb 22-27.

Roe has sent the cover sketch for Magic, Mensa and Mayhem! Isn't it a hoot?


I'm still not totally happy with Vern's face, but I think it's the angle more than anything. Roe certainly listened to my concerns about Coyote-what a difference! He's inking now. I'm dying to see the finished product! The back will have an endorsement from Jody Lynn Nye and a quip from the Publisher's Weekly review. (More on that later; publisher asked me to hold it until late Feb.)

More workshop fun

An update: Got the cover sketch from Roe. I am soooo excited! It's a fun cover--basically the characters gathered for a group shot in front of the Citrus Stars hotel. It was just an outline sketch, though, so I'm not posting it, though.

Last day of the conference is today. I've ahd a terrific time, but am suffering from BICHOK. (Butt in chair, hands on keyboard) Last night, I actually sat on an ice pack, that's how sore I am from sitting. If I ever have to do a story with a character on bedrest, I can now relate.I'm actually reclined on the couch today. Thursday, I'll try to give you some stats of the conference.

Devon's Dialogue workshop was, once again, one of the most fun for me. I used it to work on some scenes for the next DragonEye story, GapMan! Here's a snippet:


Ronnie set his elbows on the railing beside him. The scaffolding creaked at the change in weight, but he ignored it, intent on the scene below.

Captain Infinity had delivered the usual lines of "You fiend! You won't get away with this" and received the obligatory punch in the gut from a stocky dwarf minion--Kent, Ronnie realized. Hawgin threw back his head and laughed.

His voice rose. "Show him what awaits his secret beloved!" The minion fangirls bowed and rushed off, stage left. Moments later, a squad of pixies flew in. Ronnie squinted at them.

"Are they glowing?"

Goldleaf's sigh was half groan. "That's the Tweet Troupe. Studied Mundane method acting. Graduates of the 'They Were Discovered' Complete Video Course for the Aspiring Thespian."

"Is the glowing magic, then?"

"Uh, no. Radioactivity."

"For real?"

Goldleaf shrugged. "They snuck through the reactor in Los Lagos. Don't ask me how. They take their art very seriously."

Why I love Workshops

By far the most popular part of the Catholic Writers Conference Online has been the chats. We have experts from all areas of publishing come and chat for an hour, giving mini-lessons and taking questions. I usually end up transcribing them for our e-book. (BTW--If you couldn't make the conference and want to purchase the e-book, it's available for a $20 donation to the CWCO. CWCO is part of CWG, a non-profit, so you can count it as a charity or as a business expense!)

For me, however, the week-long workshops are far more useful. I love being able to put the learning into practice, and I always come away with great stuff. Monday, I shared a scene I came up with in Devon Ellington's Dialog class. Today, I want to show you the difference a few tips from Kim Richards made to a scene in Discovery that I truly hated:

OLD: James managed to make it to the auditorium as the last of the stragglers were coming in. About half of the researchers had decided to come to the briefing. Some wanted to see the images of the alien ship again. Some were curious to see the miner's reactions. He noticed that they all took spots opposite the Rocky Flat's team, who had taken position in a lopsided semi-circle around Hayden and his senior staff, forming their own island of humanity among the dark, empty seats.

Hayden sat in the front row, Captain Addiman to his left and Andy to his right; then Sister Ann, Sister Thomas, and Rita. After Rita, the row sat empty, as did the seats behind her. He watched as she gave the empty seats a seemingly incurious look. He knew she recognized the barrier.

She knows all about barriers, he thought, surprised at the bitterness of his inner voice. Then again, she'd put a barrier between them half the size of the solar system. Why couldn't she just tell me?


NEW: James managed to make it to the auditorium as the last of the stragglers were coming in. The fifteen or so researchers that crowded together at one side. Some leaned forward, hungry eyes on the blank viewscreen. More were nudging each other and looking at the Rocky Flats mining team. The miners had created their own island of humanity on the opposite side of the auditorium, chattering amongst themselves, ignoring the researchers. Hayden, his senior staff and the Rescue Sisters stretched between the groups like an incomplete bridge.

Rita formed the last bit of that bridge. She gave the empty seats around her an incurious look, but James knew she recognized the invisible barrier they formed.

She knows all about barriers, he thought, surprised at the bitterness of his inner voice. Then again, she'd put a barrier between them half the size of the solar system. Why couldn't she just tell me?

I hope some of you will be able to make it to an writers conference, on- or off-line. They really are worth the time.

CWCO: Workshop assignment

What a day yesterday was at the Catholic Writers Conference Online! Eleven hours of informative chats on everything from generating ideas to polishing manuscripts. We have seven more to go!

I was up until 1:30 working on the homework in the forums workshops. Those really are my fave, because I get to practice my skills. Devon Ellington always has a fun dialogue workshop. I'm using it to generate ideas for the next DragonEye, PI novel, GapMan! Thought you'd like the snippet:

Assignment: Two characters are traveling. As they do, they discuss a situation, and a third person.

With a moan and an arthritic grinding of gears, the conveyor belt started moving. The gaps and hills made by the rollers beneath her caused her to bump up and down.
Kitty tugged and pulled at the cords that held her bound. She kicked her legs, trying to pull free of the bond that held her ankles together, and caught her heel on the rubber of the conveyor belt. She snarled in frustration, went back to twisting her hands--

"Would you stop? You're poking my back!"

She turned her head to snarl at her fellow captive. "Well, do something, GapMan! Snap the bonds. Fly us out of here. Something!"

"You think I haven't tried? I can't. The bonds are made of Faeriemet."

"Like kryptonite. Great!" Kitty groaned with despair, then with pain as she threw her head back, whacking the back of his. "Who thinks to make a cable out of Faeriemet?"

"I dunno--maybe someone who's read your interview? I thought that was off the record."

"Oh, so this is my fault now?'

"Now that you mention it."

"Look! I was just doing my job--"

"Gee, me, too. Look where that got us."

She dug her heels into the rubber and tried to pull herself forward against the motion of the conveyor. The ropes dug into her chest as the weight behind her didn't budge.

"Help me!"

"What do you think I was trying to do! But would you follow me to safety? 'Just a few more minutes. Let's see what's behind that door.'" His voice went high and twisty in a nasty parody of hers. "Any more brilliant suggestions?"

"I don't think you're properly motivated!"

GapMan barked a most unheroic laugh. "Motivated? Who's the one facing the incinerator? What else did you write?"

"What?"

"What else did you write? Am I going to find a picture of myself in Faerie-Mundane Quarterly? The sequel to 'I dated a Faerie Dragon'?"

"Could we talk about this another time?"

An increase in pitch in the engines.

"It's speeding up!" Her voice wobbled in time with the bumping of her tailbone on the belt. She twisted and pulled, trying to drag him with her. They wobbled toward the edge.

"Stop it! That's a 30-foot drop!"

"Better than burning to death!"

"He was right about you, you know!"

"Who?"

"Vern!" his shout echoed across the abandoned factory.

Hers was nearly as loud. "You've been talking to me about Vern?"

"No, you idiot! I'm calling for help. Vern! Help us!"

"NO! Not him, not!" She twisted, caught a glimpse of the glowing Destination of Death, shrieked through her teeth. Slamming her heels against the conveyor belt more in tantrum in terror, she screwed up her face and screamed, "Vern!"

More character sketches for Roe!

It's so much fun to see what an artist can do with your characters. Sometimes, the resutls are...mystifying, like when a magazine artist made drew of my Rescue Sisters in a form fitting spacesuit--and gave her a figure that would have made Barbie jealous. And inhumanly large hands. Needless to say, the magazine ran a different illustration, but I kept a copy of the sketch in my files. To this day, I wonder just what I wrote in the story to have made him imagine a nun looking like that.

Roe Mesquita, cover artist for Magic, Mensa and Mayhem, has not read the book. He's been going off the descriptions I've sent him (and some pictures off the Internet.) A couple of days ago, he sent these sketches of the supporting characters:



I'm thrilled with the results. I love how with just a few details, he managed to capture the personality as well as the look of most of these characters.

Galendor: I gave Roe a picture of Legolas for this one, and told him to age it a bit. Galendor looks angry because in the cover, he and Gozon will be fighting. I wasn't sure about the cheekbones, but I like him.
Gozon: Oh! Roe caught the aging powerful beaurocrat look very well. Gozon will always look like this in my mind now.
Sister Grace: By far, my favorite. Sweet and intelligent. In Live and Let Fly, Vern comments that he could be happy just watching Grace smile at him all day. Vern adores this sketch.
Kent is actually Garn, but that was my bad--I switched the names in the description. I love him, though, and Garn is who we need for the cover, anyway.
Galinda is just lovely, with a touch of pert. I'd always imagined Galinda with tight waves in her hair for some reason, but didn't mention them in the description. I'm glad I didn't--Roe's sketch is so Faerie Princess in the Mundane world.
Coyote: I didn't like Coyote much at first, and my daughter Amber agrees. We'd always imagined him more "boy band" and less "Geronimo." Rob, however, tooka look and commented, "Not what I expected, but he nailed him." So I looked at some photos online of Native Americans and that is the right face. However, the expression is wrong. No matter how conniving Coyote may be, it never shows on his face. He's the happy-go-lucky dog type--the kind that gets into your trash can and looks at you as if saying, "I found the bacon grease! Aren't you so proud? What a fun game! Can I have a cookie now?" I sent him back some photos of panting coyotes and happy Labradors to give him an idea of what I mean.

Fun Working with a Cover Artist

I've said it before and I'll say it again: one great thing about working with a small press is getting to work with the cover artist.

Roe has already considered my suggestions and come back with the next iteration of Vern. I love it. I feel like he's caught the fun side of Vern's personality, which, really, Vern has just been discovering himself.



The only thing I still didn't like are the eyes. In part, I'm not thrilled with the "googly" factor (the circle and lines surrounding the eyeball), but more than that, I've made a big point in Live and Let Fly that Vern has 270 degree vision because of the position of his eyes--but that he can only see directly in front of him because of magic. In Live and Let Fly, as his magic drains, he starts going blind in front of his nose.

I'd already sent Roe some links to illustrations of the eyes I was thinking of, so to make sure he understood what I meant, this time, I decided to draw them myself.


As you can see, I traced over his sketches and made my changes. I'm a good tracer. :) I know he'll make it look terrific.

Someone asked me about the style we'd chosen, and why we didn't go for something more grand. We deliberately chose a cartoony/caricature style because it best suits the tone of the book. I spent an hour in the bookstore looking at the different cover styles and deciding what they said to me. Even the painting-style covers of books I knew were humorous did not say "slapstick," and they tended to blend in with the high fantasy or even get pushed out of the limelight. However, these covers stand out:



Myth, Inc. by Robert Asprin (RIP) and Jody Lynn Nye are similar in tone to Magic, Mensa and Mayhem and Phil Foglio's covers reflect the book perfectly. I wanted the same for MM&M. In fact, if I'd thought I had a chance at getting Foglio, I'd have jumped, but I'm glad I got Roe Mesquita. He's great to work with.

Making an Obamanation out of Simple Responsibility

We have a new President, and I know a lot of people are excited about that, but I've got to tell you, the Obama-rama is really starting to annoy me.

Frankly, this doesn't even have to do with President Obama himself. (That's a separate issue.) It's the "celebrating a new era" that really is the old era for most of us, just with fancier dressing. Case in point is a YouTube video about how Obama is ushering in a "new era" of personal responsibility. I won't post the YouTube link because I refuse to submit anyone to such schmaltzy feel-good celebrity back-patting. Essentially, you have about 15 seconds of flashy OBAMA hype followed by a bunch of celebrities smiling as they pledge to do the kind of things ordinary people have been doing for ages:

* be a good mother (WHAT was she before?)
* help feed the poor (been doing that for years myself--is this a new idea?)
* find a cure of Alheimers (with her theater degree?)
* I pledge to CONTINUE my work for Unicef (so she's already been doing something good, but now that Obama is President, it's special?)
* consider themselves a American and not an African-American (This one makes me especially furious because its what we ALL should have been doing for ages.)

What is boils down to is "I pledge to take part in propagandizing responsible behavior as as something newly inspired by the Obama administration."

It's along the lines of all those commercials of movie stars who were nowhere near New York nor had family there talking about how 9-11 has traumatized them and changed their lives. By airing their personal pain, they trivialize the people who were experiencing real pain--and not just in the US. In the same way, this "celebrate Obama" video trivializes the millions of ordinary citizens who don't pledge but have actually been good parents, worked for charities, spent years of studying in order to become the kind of people who can find a cure for Alzheimer's, continue working for a charity (big or small) without advertising themselves, and have not bought into the need to separate themselves from our joint heritage by making themselves a sub-section of the American people.

Are we really such a spoiled brat people that we need to wear our tragedies like badges of honor and our responsibilities like a medal?

I wish I had the resources to make a counter video. I'd show my friend, living alone in Alaska with six kids while her husband is deployed to Korea. There's a good mom.
I'd show people actually working in the soup kitchens and doing food drives like they have for years. They are feeding the poor. I'd show the PhD who can't afford a nice car because he's still paying off student loans while he does post-doc work in neurology. He's our best hope to find a cure for Alzheimer's.

And I'd post this guy. Here's someone who has been looking past his color to look at the issues not because it's the new "cool." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acQluy7nymw&feature=channel

One more thing: this is an interesting take on the "difference" between what Bush and Obama say. Skip the sarcasm in the beginning but look at the clips from their speeches: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=216538&title=changefest-09-obamas-inaugural

Guess what? Some things never change--they just want you to believe they have.

The Chili of 1989 Lives Again!

The first meal I ever made for Rob was before we were dating. I was having a movie night and made a big pot of chili. It was my first experience with chili, so I spent a lot of time fussing over it. I'd add spice, stir, taste, add a little more... When it was just right, I put the pot in the fridge. I'd made it in the morning, and the party was late afternoon.

No one ever told me the awesome power of steeping chilis. In four short hours, that chili went from "just right" to "nuclear fusion." Even the most stout-hearted of taste buds survived only after a liberal amount of cheese, crackers and milk. It made culinary history, along with the Gravy That Stood On Its Own and the Turkey That Set The Oven Afire.

This weekend, my daughter had her Confirmation retreat. I agreed to make chili for the kids. I've become quite a pro at it, and usually make it mild in deference to my kids. I thought, "These are teens, so I'll spice it a bit." I tasted, added, tasted, added...

And stopped. I remembered the chili of 1989.

What I didn't remember was that I was supposed to make chili for Saturday, not Friday. So I had to take the pot back home and stick it in the fridge, where it steeped and chili juice seeped for 24 hours.

Yes, The Chili of 1989 Lives Again!

Fortunately, someone else made mild chili, so they mixed it. It gave them a few laughs--and me, too--and we brought the leftovers home. Where they are steeping in the fridge.

My youngest, the spicy daredevil, wants some for lunch. I have a gallon of Lactaid waiting.

Great article for writers new to Twitter--who to follow! Good for others, too. http://ping.fm/Zg6mO