As some of you know, I'm looking to self-publish a DragonEye novella, "Greater Treasures." This will be my first foray into the self-publishing world, and I think folks are going to love the story. While it's with an editor, I'm working on the rest of the materials. I have an awesome cover, and now I'm asking your help on the back-cover blurb.
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| Coming April 2013. |
After some discussion with FB friends and my buddies in The Writers Chatroom, I have come up with these. (Actually, Ann Lewis wrote #3.) Please vote on a blurb below. I'll select someone at random to receive a free copy when it comes out. Also, if you get a friend to vote and mention your name, I'll put your name in the pot a second time.
Which one would most make you buy the book?
Vote in the comments section.
1. In the spirit of
The Maltese Falcon comes a DragonEye story like never before.
Hitler believed the Lance of Longinus would help him conquer
the world, but could never activate its power.
Now, a modern-day Nazi with access to the Faerie would become the New
Fuehrer—and destroy any race—Mundane or Faerie—that does not match the Aryan
ideal.
Vern, a Faerie dragon of diminished power, can stop him—but
will he do it if it means sacrificing the life of his dearest friend?
2. Being a private
detective in the border town of the Faerie and Mundane worlds isn’t easy, even
for a dragon like Vern.
A simple stake-out goes horribly wrong when Vern's partner,
Sister Grace, gets shot with a poison dart--a dart, police say, meant to take
down a dragon. A beautiful damsel in
distress leads Vern on a path of lies and false hope. Meanwhile, evil men tempt Vern with a cure for
Grace--in return for an artifact with the power to rule men. Can Vern find the artifact? Which will he
sacrifice: the fate of two worlds or the life of his best friend?
3. Being a private detective in the border town of the
Faerie and Mundane worlds ain’t easy, even for a dragon like Vern. Nonetheless, when
Vern’s partner Sister Grace gets hit by a poison dart meant for him, all bets
are off! He takes the offer of a cure in return for finding an artifact with
the power to rule mankind, while a beautiful damsel in distress leads him down
a rosy path of false hope. Can Vern find the artifact, and will he sacrifice
the fate of two worlds for the life of his best friend?
11 comments:
I liked the heading of #1 but it didn't pull it off in the blurb.
The one that described the story best was #3.
#1 does it for me!
#1 grabs me more than the other two.
I like #3 the least. #2 is my favorite. In #1, I'm put off by the reference to Hitler. It's enough of a turnoff that I likely wouldn't buy the book.
number three, in vern's voice.
I like #1.
#1 and then #3.
I like #2. The reference to Hitler didn't do it for me. #2 sounds to be the most intriquing. Makes you wonder what is going to happen. Good luck.
#1 drew my attention the most, but #3 also works rather nicely.
In a border town, between the Faerie and Mundane worlds, being a private detective isn’t easy—even for a dragon like Vern.
In the spirit of The Maltese Falcon comes a story like never before. A simple stake-out goes horribly wrong for Vern, when Sister Grace, his reliable partner, gets shot with a poisonous dart, one intended for Vern. In exchange for the cure, Vern is propelled on a quest for a rare artifact, one that has the power to rule the border town worlds, and beyond. Following the trail of a beautiful damsel in distress, Vern is sent on a perilous path that includes X, X, and X. In the end, he must decide/choose between his desire, the fate of his best friend, and the fate of the world.
***I combined the things I liked together. I think it needs a clearer conclusion, the ultimate stakes at the end. Maybe you can use the above, and tweak it. I italicized the words that are placeholders, but are needed to give a suggestion of the person/object/event.
Just a couple general things “mankind” usually defers to “humankind.” Also you have the commas in #2, but not three: “when Vern’s partner, Sister Grace, gets hit by a poison dart meant for him…”
Hope it helps. Hunter
Like many of the other commenters, I like both 1 and 3, and I think Hunder's suggestion of combining the two is a good one.
However, I do not share the opinion that "mankind should defer to humankind." Mankind is a perfectly good word, and I don't think too many people would notice or object to it.
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