Waxing--Not for Wimps

My personal torturer...er trainer...Ryion participated in his first body building tournament this weekend.  It's been one of those "bucket list" things for him, and he's in it for the fun, doing the beach body/board shorts competition rather than the actual how-many-veins-can-you-pop section.  Nonetheless, he's taken it pretty seriously.  He worked out extra--we all did a lot of abs one week! He went on a special diet to trim some of the fat and water weight. (No idea where this supposed fat was hiding.)  For a few days, he drank this stuff that looked like antifreeze and was supposed to "cleanse" him. (Let's not even get into the jokes there.)

Nothing, however, was as bad as the waxing. 

I have never had gotten any part of my body waxed, but I've seen it on TV (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, in fact) and just watching was enough to put me off it forever.  Ryion, of course, went for the full body wax.  He said it was the most painful experience of his life--and apparently, it went on for five hours...and he didn't even finish.  When they did one armpit, he called it quits!  He said he has scabs.  So he came to work the next day with a one sore armpit, an hour of sleep, and half his body undone.    When asked if he was going back, he empahtically insisted he'd just shave.

Some of the ladies are veteran waxers.  I guess for those who handle childbirth, this is child's play?  (I'm not testing the theory.)  So we got to hear the relative pain levels of armpit vs. bikini waxing.  You shouldn't wax right after tanning; you should go a couple of weeks before an event, because you might get bumps, then have it redone the day before.  (What?  Do this twice?!)  There's a whole science around removing hair!  I hurt just listening to them!

I will work out.  I will go through all the circuit torture I need to.  But I will stay away form the wax!  That's too high a price for beauty!  After his experience, I think Ryion feels the same.

And, as it turns out, he did just fine with his half-waxed body, after all.  He placed first in both his divisions, and was overall champion--all on his first competition ever, one of the biggest in Utah!

Good thing the prize package didn't include a free body wax.

Way to go, Ryion!