Curse you, Bagely Sweetness!

I'm on sabbatical from blogging for a few weeks, so while I'm still working out, I'm not sharing about it.  However, I thought I'd rerun some of my favorites from early in my circuit torture adventure.  This is from Week Three:

After week two's incredible progress, I backslid.  It seems circuit torture cannot overcome the awesome power of bagels with blueberry schmear.  I did discover, however, that "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" is pretty accurate--I lost an inch on the waist, but gained in my hips this week.  Curse you, bagely sweetness!

Resistance is futile!

Anyway, I realized on Friday, as I was crawling from the sit-up mat to the push-up mat, that if Dante were to write The Inferno today, my gym would be in the circle of hell where they send those whose sin is gluttony.  Personally, I'm hoping this is just Purgatory, and that I will suffer, be expelled of my evil ways, and come to a new heaven...where I can have a bagel on occasion.

Circuit Torture...er...Training, Week 3

After week two's incredible progress, I backslid.  It seems circuit torture cannot overcome the awesome power of bagels with blueberry schmear.  I did discover, however, that "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" is pretty accurate--I lost an inch on the waist, but gained in my hips this week.  Curse you, bagely sweetness!

Resistance is futile!

Anyway, I realized on Friday, as I was crawling from the sit-up mat to the push-up mat, that if Dante were to write The Inferno today, my gym would be in the circle of hell where they send those whose sin is gluttony.  Personally, I'm hoping this is just Purgatory, and that I will suffer, be expelled of my evil ways, and come to a new heaven...where I can have a bagel on occasion.

Circuit Torture...Er...Trainng, Week 2

That which does not kill you, makes your stronger...and perhaps thinner!

I have completed another six-day week of torture.

This week, he added a new twist to his sadism—20 second intervals.  Work 20, rest 10…but you do this eight times—160 seconds, or two minutes, forty-- instead of just pushing for a minute secure in the knowledge that it ends.   Once again, I was made to do “dips.”  That's where you put your hands on a bench or some other surface behind you, and push yourself up and down from a sitting position in front of the bench.  Who knew someone’s triceps could be so wimpy?  I made noises I haven’t made since I was in labor!  The pitosin drip labor!

This was a day of late starts for us, and one day, my trainer decided on the special torment for me.  It's supposed to give you a maximum calorie burn.  First, I was set on the treadmill to run at a pace I hadn't set since I was in the military and told to run a mile.  I did run a mile, but with the breaks, the treadmill ran a mile and a quarter.  Still I ran a mile, and I will take that victory!  Ah, but then he directed me to my nemesis, The Ladder.  "1000 steps," he said.

So, "old friend," we meet again...

Half an hour of pure pain later, he informed me I had just set a newbie record.  Apparently no one so early in the program had ever done 1000 steps (without passing out, throwing up, or requiring the EMTs, I surmised).  After a high five and a moment of sweet victory, he then put the nautilus machine on 55 pounds and made me to 50 sitting bench presses.  Oh, yeah, I was tired that day...although not nearly as sore as the first week.  I think my muscles are becoming inured.

Friday, I was even later, and ended up missing half the class, so I was given homework:  100 burpees and 100 crunches.  If you don't know what a burpee is, please, check out this link.  (For some reason, blogger will not call it up or let me embed it, but it explains it the best.  Essentially, you drop down, push your legs out, do a push up, bring your knees in to a squat, and jump.  Now, my burpees look more like drop, do a girlie pushup, struggle to bring my knees in and make a pitiful hamster-sized hop, but I did it a hundred times (in spurts, with breaks).  Saturday, I didn't feel well, so I stayed home from the gym, but did another 50 and 200 crunches.  Yes, I am now torturing myself.

However, I measured on Friday, and the past two weeks have resulted in a loss of 3.8 pounds; 1.8 percent body fat, an inch off the chest, 3.4 inches off my waist, 1.8 inches off my hips and 1.9 inches off my abs. Somehow, to my complete bafflement, I gained in my thighs.  Don't even ask--maybe it's the Curse of The Ladder!

I joke about the torture, but really, I'm enjoying pushing my body, sticking to a program, and of course, I'm liking the results.  The other day, I put on pants that I usually can't sit in without undoing the button, and they fit.  I've got a long way to go, but I think I can do it.

Circuit Torture...er, Training...Week One Down

I survived my first week of circuit training.  In fact, not only did I survive, but I can still walk and lift dishes and sit down...all of which seemed awfully iffy on Wednesday.  Here are some of the highlights of my week:

I had thought The Ladder was the most diabolical device in the gym.  How wrong I was.  On Tuesday, Ryion put me on the treadmill at a level of 2.  Then as I started on my leisurely walk, he said, "Let me adjust the incline."  Ten...fifteen...twenty...THIRTY degrees.  Let's just say that by the third time round, I had to ask, "What's more important, the incline, the speed, or that I not hang on?"  I braced myself on the handles, but I made it!

Inclines like this, cars go into lower gear, semis have their own lane...but now I have to walk it.

I spent several days on a quest for good workout shoes.  My Sketcher Shape Ups are awesome for walking and have saved my knees, but for jumping, squatting, etc., they do not cut the mustard.  After trying on every shoe in the Mall in my price range (and traipsing said Mall five times, a workout in itself), I learned that Nikes are too narrow; Reboks hit my arch wrong; Asics just aren't right, and Sketcher soles press weird on my feet except for the Shape-Ups.  I settled on some Pumas, which still hit the balls of my feet wrong, but better than anything else I could find.  I was a little desperate.  I am hoping they will break in.  I always have trouble with shoes not fitting my feet.

Also along the line of wardrobe failure, I have learned that the tank tops I wear under my t-shirt and sweatshirt cannot contain my chest while I do jumping jacks.  What a great discovery!  jump jump--pull up strap--jump jump--pull up strap.  At least it was 47 in the gym that day and I had the sweatshirt on.  Jumping also makes me have to go potty.  I do hope that gets easier with exercise.

And speaking of potty, how many of you have experienced the sheer torture of trying to sit on a toilet when your legs are fully stiff and sore from hours of ladder climbing, extensions, raises, and let's not forget incline hikes?  I had planned on keeping this gem to myself, but one of the ladies at the gym commiserating with my first week volunteered how much it had hurt her just to sit to pee.  Obviously, I am not alone.


Finally, the best thing I did for myself all week was get a massage! It felt so good to get all the kinks worked out..or partially so, there are a lot of kinks!  In addition, though, it helps release the toxins stored in the muscles, promoted muscle healing, and helps tighten the skin.  In fact, she suggested that I massage my muscles after a workout for that reason specifically.  I have bought a packet of four massages.  I think I'll need them to get through the week.


Overall, it's been a terrific week for fitness for me.  In fact, I feel younger already.

Of course, that could be because on Tuesday, I felt closer to 90 than 45....