An excerpt from *I Left My Brains in San Francisco* concerning bridges

In  Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator: I Left My Brains in San Francisco, I wrote about a bridge that was badly constructed.  It was tarted on each end of the bay and didn't meet in the middle.  I figured I was writing fiction, then I saw this photo in a blog on 31 building mistakes. I had to share!

They were coming up on the I-80 Bay Bridge.  Neeta followed Ted's pointing finger to the blocked-off exit beside the original bridge.  Beyond it was a beautiful and abandoned stretch of highway that ended abruptly to start again, closer to San Francisco. 

"Hey!  That's where I'm supposed to make my appearance for Zehedron Hummers!  That's kind of weird."  Neeta said.

Ted switched the radio to the GPS-Guided Tours station.

"If you look to your right, you will see the famous Broken Bridge.  The Broken Bridge was started in 2037, a joint cooperative between the State of California and the Cities of San Francisco and Richmond.  Federal highway monies were allocated to the state, which in turn divided it between the cities.  Each city hired its own contractor to complete its half of the bridge.  Part of the Commission of Highway Expenditures And Programs Initiative, the plan would have saved the governments hundreds of thousands of dollars, except that fifteen months into construction, it was discovered that the two halves of the bridge would not meet, but in fact miss each other at a height difference of over sixty feet.  Two months later, an agreement was reached with the Roadbuilder's Union to halt construction with only one hundred and two feet of linear distance left to connect the two halves.

"Currently, the Supreme Court is trying to unravel the myriad of suits and counter-suits as both cities, the state, the companies, and the Roadbuilder's Union, plus the Association for the Prevention of Stupid Government Spending, sue each other over the errors.  In the meantime, the bridge has become an important cultural and events center, with the cities of Richmond and San Francisco renting out their respective halves of the bridge in order to recoup some of their financial losses and legal fees.

"Designed to withstand even a 9.8 earthquake, the Broken Bridge would have been a marvel of engineering, had it been completed.  It is visible to east-bound traffic on I-80, as well as accessible for westbound traffic in San Francisco.  We hope you will return later to admire this testimony to the Ingenuity of Man." 

Find Neeta Lyffe: I Left My Brains in San Francisco on Amazon.

Ten Things Zombies are Thankful For

Folks on Facebook re dong the 30 days of thankfulness.  What would zombies be thankful for?  I've asked Undead Fred to help me out.

1.  That my legs are still attached.  Fingers would be nice, too, but you can't eat brains unless you can catch the felling human.

2.  That my sense of smell has disappeared.  Yes, I'm aware I smell of filt, disease and decay, but it now, I can live with it.  No...wait...

3.  I am no longer worried about my appearance.  It's so freeing to no longer have concern about body image.  Of course, the irony is I can eat as much as I want and never get fat now, either.

4.  Life is simpler now.  Shamble, groan, chase, eat.  I don't even need my cell phone...though I do miss Angry Birds sometimes.

5.  Still being able to vote.  Come on, doesn't that explain a lot?

6.  I don't have to work anymore.  Yep.  If I want to spend a day laying in the sun, decomposing, I can do it.  No boss, no deadlines, no meeting where I felt half-zombie anyway.  Just me, the warm sun, and the occasional rat or crow.  And maggots.  Maggots are a nuisance, but not every paradise is perfect, right?

7.  No more debates!  No more discussing politics, worrying about defending my religious choices...  Yeah, I still get a look of revulsion, but that comes with the territory, and a good long groan and a shamble in the person's direction usually takes care of the problem.

8.  I no longer have to worry about taxes.  Or death for that matter. 

9. I never catch a cold or worry about my allergies anymore.

10.  Braaaaains!

NOTE:  This is a reprint from my post on Girl Zombie Authors.  It's a fun blog I do with multiple writers.  Check it out.

Just a Few More Days 'till Coprsickle Time!

Many thanks to Frr Malory for making this cool cover.

Hey, are you ready for zombies on skis?  I've been writing "Shambling in a Winter Wonderland" to go live November 19.  Neeta and Ted go on a ski trip and to help advertise a ski/snowboard contest that raises money for Operation Homefront.  But when a ski team from last year's contest who died in an avalanche come back to finish the runs themselves, Neeta and Ted will be shredding with the Undead!

I've had a really slow start with this one, but once again, the answer came from the old adage, "Chase your characters up a tree.  Put vicious dogs at the base.  Throw rocks."  There are going to be tons of laughs and some comical zombie moments, but also some heavy stuff for Neeta and Ted.  It's also turning out WAY bigger than expected--definitely a novella when all done.

Mark your calendars to visit http:/skizombies.karinafabian.com or contact me to get on the mailing list to get informed when the next episode is up.

In the meantime, here's a teaser:

“Zombies? On skis?” Ted’s squeal came loud and clear over her helmet as they followed the sheriff on snowmobiles up to the accident scene.  “If it weren’t so dangerous, it’d be core awesome!”

“Apparently, there was some kind of shrine set up with their skis and snowboards—except for Spars’.  The manager said someone stole his, so they replaced it with some from the lost and found—that doesn’t matter!  The point is, they were already fearless and skilled.  Now they’re mindless, fearless and skilled—and the only thing they have connection to here is the ski contest I’m supposed to pose at.    Are you sure you want to marry me?  I’m cursed.”  Neeta spoke through chattering teeth—even with all the layers she could pile on under her Hasmat suit and her ski mask making her helmet uncomfortable, the cold air cut through her.  Ahead of her Sheriff Buttons swerved to avoid a root that arched out of the snow and she followed.  She heard a thump, and guessed that Ted chose to jump the branch instead.

“Nah.  You’re interesting—and that’s what I love about you.  Come on.  If it weren’t for your so-called curse, we wouldn’t be snowmobiling in restricted territory right now.  How fuse is that?  Just go with it.  ‘Embrace the suck,’ as Gordon used to say.”

Their friend Gordon had been a Marine before being discharged for being too enthusiastic about his job.  “I’m not a Marine.”

“Your mom was.  Doesn’t any of that rub off?”

“She took shrapnel to the arm and was discharged before I was born.”

“You need to get into the spirit of this.  Sing with me: Oh, the zombies outside are frightful/but the napalm’s so delightful—“

“You’re insane!  I’m marrying a crazy man.”  But she couldn’t keep the smile out of her voice.  He did make the job fun.

“As long as you love me so…”