Monday, March 30, 2009

An Interview with Vern of DragonEye, PI

I had a terrific time last night at The Writers Chat Room. I didn't count how many people were there, but the list ran down the page! Vern made a special appearance as well and his 15-minute stay lasted an hour. Here's the transcript for those who missed:

Vern: Hey, everyone.
Lisa-mod: welcome to TWC, Vern
Lisa-mod: it's nice to have you here
Vern: Thanks. Nice place
Vern: Glad to see all the people. Grace wants me to tell you not to feed my ego. Ignore her
Lisa-mod: Vern, how are you today?
Kim Richards: I think we're more afraid of you then her.
larriane: I can't think of a thing to ask a dragon
Vern: chilly. be glad when the winter is over. Our warehouse doesn't hold heat well. however, Grace has a warming spell for me. advantages to living with a mage
skip miller: Do you have wings?
Vern: Kim--good thinking, though she can be pretty fierce
Vern: absolutely--gorgeous ones, love to snap them!
Tony Lavoie: Vern, how did you, a dragon, manage to get yourself bamboozled into working for the good guys? If I understand that aright?
Vern: hey! I was one of the good guys!
Tony Lavoie: okay...the other side, then.
Vern: as far as getting dragooned into service for the FCC (which isn't the other side), I have George to thank. God bless St George, the magically overpowered pain-in-the-tail.
Linda::?Do dragons really breathe fire?
Vern: By the time we were done sparring, I'd lost my height, weight, flight, fire magic and most of my knowledge. He then offered me the deal: earn it all back through faithful service God and Man...
Tony Lavoie: So he was just stronger than you...?
Vern: and his creatures through the Faerie Catholic Church. I've been everything from Pope's pet to plow dragon to scribe to warrior of Christ...
skip miller: What kind of magic do you do?
Vern: He had God on his side, Tony, it was kind of an unfair fight. I held my own.
: Right now, my magic is more in the area of heightened senses, ability to hover, a few low-key spells, some healing. Dragons don't have a lot of natural magic as it is. Done
Vern: Linda asked if we breathe fire. Yes, but not like your legends, all clumsy and out of control....
Linda: Do dragons have emotions?
Vern: I can light a cigarette as easily as I can set a barn afire--and do it with panache. absolutely, we have emotions. Vices, too
Kate: Vern, how do you manage to interact with mortals without losing your dragon magnificence ~ and your connection with faeries and other magical beings
Vern: oh, Kate, it aint' easy, especially in the Mundane world. Do you know how many times I've had to...
Vern: put up with folks wondering if I'm HOUSEBROKEN, for pity's sake? No respect!
Vern: I try to be patient, and remind myself that just as for every good deed, I get some kind of reward, bad deeds will set me back. Sometimes, though, it's worth taking the chance. Done.
Lisa-mod: What’s it like hanging out with Mensans?
Vern: They're a good crew, usually more able to accept me for what I am and less inclined to think I was an animatronics joke by Leno. Still had some....personalities, like the guy who followed me around like ...
Vern: he was a National Geographic writer and I was a new species of predator (well, I'll give him the species part), or Melchior Rawlings. Talk about uptight artist! whew!
Vern: even with all the craziness, we did have a good time. Mensans are like anyone else--some are truck drivers, some are multiple PHDs, some are both. All just people. And all only human (except me) done
Vern: and...ugh...Coyote
Tony Lavoie: Vern, how do you get your stories to Karina? Do you dictate them to her directly, or write 'em down first and deliver them? Do you meet regularly with her to give updates and such?
Vern: She feeds me; I tell her stories. It's a good relationship. I blogged about it earlier this month, BTW. You can read it on my website DONE
AnnLewis: Speaking of websites, how do you like you find it user-friendly for dragons?
Vern: I love it--you did a great job designing it.
Kim Richards: lol...the mental image of Vern hunched over a keyboard
AnnLewis: just wondering if the type was too small
Vern: No, no. Manny Costa made a great set-up for me...
Vern: it's on a rolling platform set to my height when I'm reclining. I have a virtual keyboard that shines onto the floor, which saves a lot on keyboards. (Claws are hard on them) done
Kate: Vern, any advice for a mortal who would really like to meet a dragon and get to know him/her
Vern: My eyesight is better than humans. done
Vern: You're not going to find any here except me. the rest tend to keep to themselves, but if you want to visit one, bring something unique..and if you want to feed them, fat cow beats skinny virgin any day of the week done
Lisa-mod: So you aren't a vegetarian?
Vern: ROFL
Lisa-mod: Talk to us a little bit about seem to like her...a lot
Vern: Grae is the best friend I've ever had--and being immortal, that says a lot...
Vern: She's smart and strong in the spiritual sense, has great common sense...
Vern: isn't afraid to put me in my place (rare among humans, frankly)...
Vern: she has an incredible singing voice--it's how she channels her magical power and how the Power of God works through her...
Vern: She likes my jokes and knows how to scratch behind my ears just right.
Lisa-mod: That scratching behind the ears sounds very important :)
Allen the serial: how does a dragon turn detective?
Vern: I just happened into it. I was living in the garage of the Little Flowers Parish when the priest Fr Rich was called to administer last rites to a dead man (Yeah, a little late)...
Vern: turned out the field had been possessed by magic and killed him. I figured it out. And after that, people started coming to me with their problems. It's a living, and since I don't have a green card....
Vern: it's something I can do under the table as it were.
Kim Richards: Now that you've been on this side (in our world) for a while. will it be hard to leave should you ever get all your powers back? I mean [i]earn[/i] your powers back.
Vern: NO. I can always visit, and the Mundane world is no place for a full-sized dragon. done
larriane: how big are you now?
Vern: 12 feet from snout to tail; 5 feet at the shoulder when sitting (cat like)
Vern: not quite a ton, but magic and weight distribution keeps me from falling through the floors done
Allen the serial: How does your dragon talk, what is there language?
Allen the serial: Is he only one?
Vern: you mean how do I talk when not speaking Human? It's growls and purrs, snaps and snarls.. body language. You might consider it more animal than "human," but it's more complex than humans can understand....
Vern: I knew at one point thousands of languages. Now a couple dozen human ones and a handful of Faerie. And why do you keep referring to me in third person? I'm right there. Done
Vern: no, I'm not the only one
larriane: like a whale? language that is
] Vern: since I don't speak whale, I wouldn't know. If it's anything like on ST IV, then no, not as squeaky or grunty. done
larriane: they sing. do you?
Kim Richards: Has anyone ever confused you with a dinosaur?
Vern: larraine--no, I don't sing. I purr, though
Vern: Kim--yes. no-brained idiot human who also though he was the avatar of an Egyptian God. Even had the poor taste to yell "Die Barney!" while spraying me with insecticide. Long story.
KarinaFabian: "Amateurs" which is available for free to those who join the DragonEye PI website done
Lisa-mod: too funny
Vern: you didn't get a snoot full of insecticide
Kate: Vern, As big as you are, how are you able to uncover clues and solve them without a perps' knowledge or giving yourself and Grace away
Vern: well, in general they aren't hanging around the scene of the crime when I'm looking for clues...
Vern: but I also have a stealth charm Grace created after watching a documentary on the B2
Vern: I'm also very stealthy naturally--comes from being a predator. done
Linda: Are you afraid of anything?
Vern: Tough question. Everyone's afraid of something. Still, being immortal gives you a long-term perspective. I can be hurt. but I survive eventually.
Vern: zombies. zombies weird me out. not fear so much as loathing. Imagine that casserole you stuck in the fridge coming back to life wanting to eat you.
larriane: already answered my question. how long do you think before you earn all your powers back
Vern: No idea. "God's ineffable plan" is beyond me even at the height of my wisdom. done
AnnLewis: Vern, can you explain the relationship between the Faerie Catholic Church and the Church of Rome here in our world? Does going to Mass at the RCC count for the same in the FCC, and do you go?
Vern: We're close enough that we recognize each other, yes.
Vern: we each have our own popes, of course and our own histories. The FCC is far more powerful and involved politically, It has to be. with magic, Evil is less subtle in our world
Vern: I do attend Mass at Little Flowers Parish. Even receive Communion, Wasn't baptized though. Dragon souls are different from human souls. done
Sally Franklin Christie: Do you have dewclaws, or thumbs and do you ever wish for humanish abilities? Done
Vern: kind of between dewclaws and thumbs. Not easy to handle a pencil. What human abilities would I want? done
Tony Lavoie: Vern, You say you're not afraid of you not fear for your soul should you fail in your task(s)? Or is that not a player in your case?
Vern: I've been human btw. Weird experience. Kind of fun in its own way
Vern: My soul is not in danger if I fail in my tasks. If I were to give into temptation and foresake my tasks...that's another story. And yes, that would be scary, and take some kind of extreme circumstances. Dragons in general are very...
Vern: God-loving creatures. After all, we were made form the greatest of His imaginings. Why wouldn't we be?
witzkedm: Does the use of magic every get you in trouble?
Vern: My use? depends on what you mean by getting into trouble. I don't misuse my magic, but that doesn't mean trouble doesn't find its way to me. However, the mix of magic and tech causes no end of trouble....
Vern: (shrug) keeps me employed. done
larriane: have you got any feedback from the church here on how they feel about MM&M
AnnLewis: (This Catholic likes it!:)
KarinaFabian: Guess that one's for me. I've not brought it to any Church authority, if that's what you're asking.
KarinaFabian: I've had lots of positive feedback from Catholics in general. My daughter and son have a godfather who is a priest and I'll be sending it to him. It's his style.
KarinaFabian: so far the only "negative" feedback I've gotten was from a lady (non-Catholic) who thought all dragons were Satan
Vern: please! I'm not the dragon in Revelation. I only have one head!
KarinaFabian: yeah. I mentioned that. She looked at me a little blankly. done
larriane: we love ya Vern
Vern: Of course you do
AnnLewis: Vern, when you say you can be hurt but can't die, does that mean you really cannot be destroyed at all, that you'll always live until the end of time? What if you were blown up into itty bitty pieces or disintegrated?
Vern: Of course you do
Vern: Even if I am disintegrated (ouch ouch) some part of me, whatever was the most whole, would eventually come back. Might take a millennia. I do try to avoid that. done
Allen the serial: what is your favorite meal
Vern: I like so many things! Large is nice....
Vern: depends on my mood. Sometimes, I really appreciate fine cuisine or very spicy chili...
Vern: sometimes I'm in the mood for something I hunt down and kill myself, fur flies and all.
Vern: (it's an acquired taste) done
Walt: What's the ETA on [i]Live and Let Fly?[/i]
KarinaFabian: late 2009. I just did the content edits and it's off to the copy editor. We start on the cover art in June/July, Dindy said.
KarinaFabian: I have a fun idea, but we'll see if Roe can do it. Don't you love the cover Roe did?
Sally Franklin Christie: What advice does a Dragon like yourself have for new worldbuilders and their inhabitants? Done
Vern: Grace says, "God endowed each of us with a creative spirit. Use it well."
Vern: Guess I'd say have fun with it? I'm not much of a writer, myself.
PaulaL: Vern, any comments about the Nag Hammadi manuscripts?
Vern: No. You a reporter?
Tony Lavoie: I'd be interested to hear what Karina has to say about Nag Hammadi, tho.
KarinaFabian: Someone would have to tell me what they are first :)
Lisa-mod: Karina or Vern, anything else you’d like to say before we close up for today?
Vern: Feed the dragon. Buy the book.
(Grace swats Vern on the nose)
Vern: Ow! actually. thanks to everyone for coming. i was not pleased that the first DEPI story was one of our most embarrassing cases...
Vern: but I'm glad so many people are enjoying it.
Vern: Check out the website--I love to blog about stupid criminals, so if you ever come across a YouTube video, send it to me and I'll blog it.
Vern: Otherwise, just remember: magic and tech do not mix. Good night!

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