Monday, August 06, 2007

Embrace your beigeness!

It's 11:03, and I'm going to bed in a few minutes, but I'm at a hotel with wi-fi and finally have a chance to share the beige jokes I've been promising.

For those who have forgotten, we have been unsuccessfully trying to sell our house. After the movers packed out our stuff, we hired a different agent who was more knowledgeable and willing to promote our property, and did a few more things to make it more marketable. (MLS ID# ST6497947--look it up at!)

One of the major changes we did was to paint the bolder colored walls beige. Paraffin wax, it was called, actually--beige with snooty attitude. Personally, I hate beige, and since it was going over the chili peppers I adored and the colorful handprints that the children made as a border along the playroom wall, I was esp. annoyed at the necessity. To compensate, I make up beige and realtor jokes:

Where to Realtors go on vacation? Beige-ing (Thanks to the folks at the Writers' Chat room for that one.)

How can you tell a realtor is going through mid-life crisis? The beige sports car.

If Realtors wrote songs: "We are living in a Paraffin World." "I'm Beige" "Beige semi-gloss shoes" "Feels just like I'm walking on hardwood floors"

Realtor fashion advice: Beige is the new black.

If Realtors wrote the Bible:
--In the beginning there was beige. And God said, "It goes with everything." And it was good.
--And God said to Noah, "Why are you painting the ark?"
Noah said, "Well, God, we only needed it those 40 days and the missus thought..."
God said, "Thou Shalt Paint it Beige."

That's all I can remember. the other computer took the rest on it's death bed. Maybe it was the fumes from the beige paint. time for me to go to bed.

Fade to beige...

1 comment:

Jan said...


I'm embracing my beigeness and appreciating your message.

Over the years, I've done several decorating stints with realtors who needed to sell homes for higher dollar prices. It's always been interesting watching the realtor dumb down the decor of a home to sell it, when in actuality, if the home has a bit of personality, a buyer is more likely to grab it up.

BAD Decor is quite different from color and personality. Rearranging some of the paintings on the wall, making collections stand out, so people can imagine their own accessories in a home, and toning up some colors would make far more sense than beigeing it down.