My Novel's Journey: Editing Neeta 2

Yes!  Finally!  I have recovered from the conference, finished my workshops, sent the Catholic school calendar manuscripts (my annual assignment) and cut my to-do list to 77!  That means I could edit Neeta Lyffe 2: I Left My Brains in San Francisco!

I had a very interesting reaction from my critiquers concerning Neeta 2.  The ladies loved it, and the guys didn't, even after I fixed the romance.  Obviously, I didn't do enough; the guys still thought Neeta came off as weak and not just troubled.  The ladies who critiqued, however, seemed to get that.  It was a very interesting to see the dichotomy there.

However, I don't want this to be a chick book, so I've spent the past few days "buffing" Neeta up.  There's a new opening chapter where she shows her stuff against a zombie (and where we see a little about why she and Ted are good together.)  However, for the rest, I was able to change a few reactions, add a little thought process, and show a little more of Ted's good qualities. (Aside from being laid back and funny.)

Next, I mapped out all the scenes in order to make sure my pacing was good and that I had enough clues woven in ahead of time.  I may do this again in more detail, but for this time, I just concentrated on zombie appearances, documentary and clues to the climactic invasion.  As a result, I am moving a couple of scenes around and am adding another documentary entry by Gary Opkast. I tried to keep the clues subtle enough to keep folks wondering while clear enough that people would get it when the characters do.  I think I'll have to go back and add a couple of other clues, though I might drop them into conversation instead of another documentary.

Overall, though, I'm surprised at how much I enjoyed re-reading it, even after letting it sit a month and mulling over the manuscripts many problems.  I feel pretty confident that with some concentrated effort, I can have this polished in a week or two, maybe while starting on Gapman as well.  I'm not sure the multitasking will hold up, but I do know I need to get back on a schedule after a long break of obsessive project work.

SA Bolich talks about FIREDANCER and the advice of her editor

This is one of the WorldCon videos I took.  Sue Bolich (SA Bolich) read from FIREDANCER at WorldCon and Rob and I were very impressed at the rich sensory detail.  I asked her about it, and she credited it to the encouragement of her editor.  Here's what she had to say:



Synopsis:  Wind and Fire: A Deadly Combination

Since the Beginning of all, the Fire Clans have fought the Ancient, the elemental fire at the heart of the world, with the binding power of the Firedance.  Suddenly, the Ancient has grown clever and bold, and the Dance has begun to fail. Now fire is running rampant in the village of Annam, where the Delvers mine the precious containment stone that is the only other safeguard against fire. Only Jetta ak'Kal, a failed master, and her partner, the most inept journeyman in all of the Fire Clans, stand in its way.

To Jetta's horror, fire isn't the only danger in Annam. Windriders live there, masters of air, the Ancient's most deadly fuel. With danger riding on every breath of wind, if Jetta fails, no place will be safe from the deadly firestorm... 


Excerpt:

This fire was malicious.  Jetta felt it the instant she stepped through the door of the flaming houseplace.  Fear struck her like a raptor, draining her strength as if great claws had pierced all her veins and bled her life away.  Heat blasted the naked skin of her arms and legs; smoke stung her nose. Startled, she took a step sideways, and shied again from hot grit crunching under her bare feet.  She stopped just inside the door, heedless of the flames running up the lintel beside her. Shuddery cold swept through her, for all that the hot breath of the fire was in her face, a reek of charred wood and scorched stone that swept her straight back to a damp spring night laden with screams and the smell of destruction.

I can’t.  Not again.

Fire exploded from the wall on her left.  Jetta spun toward it, and shied back from the sight of white stone crawling with flame, paling rapidly from sullen red to eager gold.  Here was no tame hearth fire escaped from its bondage to take vengeance on its captors.  Only the deep fire, the heartfire of the world, the Old Man himself, could eat stone.

The Ancient was coming.

She retreated a step, shaken so badly that for an instant even her training deserted her.  All she saw was fire writhing in febrile, hungry curtains.  Like last time.  Reaching for her...like last time.  Out of control.  Like last time.

A scream reached her, high and frightened, piercing the laughing roar of the fire like a thin-bladed knife.  She jumped, and all around her fire leaped back.  Jetta spun all the way around.  The fire retreated, uncertain now.

Shame drove through Jetta’s fear.  She took a step—forward, not back.  Fire fled on the right.  She jerked her right hand up, palm out in imperious demand.  The fire recoiled out of reach.  The smothering heat suddenly lessened as though winter had breathed on the flames.  Jetta laughed and stepped into the Dance.

Bare feet ground soot and ash underfoot; the flagstones cool now against her soles.  She shoved off from her right foot into a leap and spin, completely over a knee-high flame trying to sustain itself on bits of a charred chair.  Fear spun away with the turn; Jetta landed on smooth-polished stone and twirled on one foot, arms raised, exulting in the sudden cool rush of power swirling up through her.  All at once the air tasted of damp earth and the green density of living forest.

She stamped an infant flame into non-existence, the smoke of its death curling impotently around her legs.  Step, step, turn, her feet grinding flame underfoot, her arms stretching outward in the demanding arc that drew a line that flame could not cross.  Fire leaped and roared around her, licking eagerly into the air that was its goal, its life, its escape from its prison in the earth.  

Another scream, fainter.  Jetta faltered.  Heat suddenly blasted at her; smoke tasted bitter on her tongue as the sustaining cocoon started to shred around her.  Malicious fire….

Jetta closed her eyes, drawing reassurance from the quicksilver feel of the Dance shivering like a lightning storm along her skin.  It all but shoved her straight up off the littered floor to defy the fire eye to eye where it roared over her head; she moved, a quick step and turn into the heart of it.  Time now was precious, before the fire learned to call its terrible parent.  Now, while a Third Rank master could still hold it alone, now while the Dance ran in her like a flood, the only flood that could tame heartfire.

Training and a lifetime’s conditioning shoved down the memories.  Jetta clapped her hands and pirouetted in place, willing the barriers of the Dance back up around her.  She looked closer at the flames running over the pallid stone, and saw that this was surface fire still, pale, but not yet the white heartfire no water could quench.  She heard no hissing pop of collapsing rock as flame consumed the air in the porous windstone.  This fire was malicious, aye, but as yet it was only the forerunner of the ancient fire that lived in the deepest core of the earth; it was not the foe itself that the Fire Clans had hunted since time began.  The yellow of these flames was well diluted with the base red that spoke of uncertainty.  This fire had not learned—yet—how to use its malice. 

Purchase on Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Firedancer-ebook/dp/B005JMXIMG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315519397&sr=8-1

My Novel's Journey: Short Story Time

I'm doing revisions on Discovery now that I've gotten some feedback from my critiquers. However, in the meantime, I'm writing some short stories.

Not all novelists can write short stories, but I believe all novelists should try. Short stories are a lot of fun, and they give you a chance to explore parts of your characters that really don't fit in the novel but aren't big enough to constitute a novel in and of themselves. For example, I just wrote a short story based on Deryl Stephens, my psychic in Mind Over Mind. Deryl's abilities came upon him suddenly with puberty, in a well-to-do boys' school. Deryl's mother was killed a few years earlier, and he "lives" with his aunt and uncle, which really means, he's in year-round boarding school with holidays at their house. So while they love him, there's no real relationship there, and certainly not one where he can say, "I've got telepathic powers!" and they'd actually believe him. In the novel, I'd talked a little about some of the stuff he went through, but the book takes place five years later.

However, Damnation Books has a call for entries for an anthology about the more realistic side of having superpowers, and I thought it'd be a great chance to explore some of those torturous first days of having powers-and not being able to control them. "Illusion" follows Deryl through a day of school, from the morning ritual of reminding himself who he is, to accidentally solving an algebra problem with calculus, because that's how the teacher would do it, to inadvertently using telekinesis on a bully to stop him from hurting someone else to once again, and trying (and failing) to convince the school counselor that he really is psychic. It's a sad, dark story.

There isn't enough in the story, however, to make a novel; in fact, it took two days to beef it up to the minimum word requirement. But in writing it, I learned a lot about Deryl, and (my apologies to Deryl) I enjoyed imagining this horrible day for him.

As the cool water struck his back and plastered his hair to his scalp, he began the mantra: "My name is Deryl Stephens. I'm thirteen years, four months, and seven days old. I'm in eighth grade. My favorite subject is science. I like meteorology best. My worse subject is social studies. I like raspberries and hate chocolate…" Every detail he could think of that was his, he muttered aloud, forcing himself to hear it above the wants, needs, pains and thoughts of the population of the George Weinmann School for Boys. Sometimes, it was enough.

Once showered and dressed, he reached under his bed and pulled out the bottle of Motrin hidden there and poured eight into his hand. The bottle rattled. He'd have to buy or steal more soon. He took two in anticipation of the headache to come and stuffed the rest into his pocket. He shoved the bottle back into the mattress, through the tear, securing it among the filling, then pulled out a small framed photo. He ran his fingers over his mother's hair, traced her smile. Her eyes looked wrong in the photo; they always did. No camera could capture the life that shone from them, or the hidden knowledge that darkened their depths. She would have understood what he was going through; she would have helped him. But it was too late; he couldn’t talk to her now, and he couldn't imagine what she would say. He shoved the photo back next to the painkillers, then went to wash the tears off his face.

He checked his schedule and his homework, making sure they held his name and not someone else's. He recited his mantra along with his first hour classroom number. Finally, with a deep breath, like a swimmer about to jump the high dive, he pulled open the door and forced his feet to take him to his--and not someone else's--first class.

I'll let you know if anything comes from it. In the meantime, I'm writing another superhero story based on an idea Rob came up with. "The Mover" begins like this: They say that superpowers should teach you an important life lesson, like "With great power comes great responsibility." Well, my superpowers taught me, "You really aren't cut out for great responsibility." It's a lot of fun.

Do you like to write short stories? How about read them? Do short stories make you want to buy a book about that character?

My Novel's Journey: Discovery: When a Crit Makes You Cry

You all know the struggle I've gone through with Discovery. (If not, here's the gist: five years, four false starts, two episodes of computer eating the manuscript, three weeks of obsessive effort and 108,000 finished words.)

Now, it's with my beta readers: people whose writing I admire and who know me well enough not to pull any punches when they crit my work. They know that, despite all my word count brags and phony whining about this or that writing complication, when it comes to a critique, I don't care so much about what I've done as how do I make it even better.

I feel the same about Discovery--maybe even more so. The story started out so simple--in my discouraged moments, I called it "Love Boat in Space"--but it wanted, it demanded, to be so much more. And (aside from the computer crashes), that's part of what took such effort. I did not feel up to the task--as a writer, as a thinker, or as a Catholic. Most of you have seen my stuff; "heavy" and "deep" are not the usual modifiers.

So, I have to admit, that while I was pleased with the manuscript, I was also a little worried that I'd still missed my mark. Frankly, that would have been okay, because I have some excellent writer friends critiquing it, and I trust them to show me where I fell short.

I'm writing this on July 9. (I plan my posts.) An hour ago, I got my first critique for Fred Warren, a Christian writer who writes stories in my Rescue Sisters universe. The first three words made me cry:

Wow. Just...wow.

Those three words told me, that despite the problems with the storyline--and he pointed out some good ones!--I succeeded in my primary goal: The Story Works!

my novel's journey: Discovery: The Butterfly Effect

You know the butterfly effect, right? Some innocent butterfly flapping its wings in the Amazon is responsible for a typhoon of epic proportions. Yeah, well, that happened in space--or at least in my novel, Discovery.

It's really very simple: I needed a good excuse to limit the exploration part of the novel to a few very intense days. So I decided to throw a rock at the Kuiper Belt Object that the alien ship crashed on. A big rock, like, well, another Kuiper Belt Object.


Okay, not quite a butterfly. But still.

All it had to do was narrow my timeline. Add a little urgency, but noooooo! Just because I summoned Big Rock, I had to deal with:

* Four people need brain scans three chapters earlier.
* One character discovers he has Alzheimer's early enough to be cured.
* Same said character had made a throwaway line about being worried about his mother back in chapter one--guess why he was worried?
* The Captain has a cat!
* Chris can't keep a secret two chapters. (Had to revise the whole timeline.) he also can't stop himself from kissing Andi in front of everyone.
* Sister Ann says something around Ian that makes him think she believes the alien device is an aphrodisiac.
* Chris becomes a totally different kind of hero--using his brains instead of his brawn. (Which is much more suiting to his character.)

Shall I mention that I needed to research all this, too?

Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but who knew banging two asteroids together was going to result in a dozen butterflies flapping their wings?

my novel's journey: Discovery: What brought me to this moment

As I thought back to my struggles with Discovery, I realized that part of the reason I could write this book now is because I hadn't written it yet. I think perhaps I had not developed the skills I needed.

In particular, I am struck at the huge cast of characters Discovery has--eleven important characters. When I first wrote this as a NaNo story in 2008, I had only written one-character POV stories. I didn't know how to work a large cast. In the next years, I wrote DragonEye, PI stories, which were even more singular, as everything was told first-person by Vern. Then my computer crashed just as Kim Richards was asking me to write a Neeta Lyffe story, and I got the wild idea to write a reality TV show about killing zombies. While Neeta is the main character, I couldn't do reality TV without all the fun back-stabbling, behind the scenes dirt and audience reaction. Next thing I knew I was in multiple heads, jumping from one character to the next and having the time of my life. It was play, it was practice, and it was what I needed to learn in order to write the multiple person saga of Discovery.

I'm not sure I subscribe to the idea that the first million words an author writes is practice, but I am sure that, had it not been for the words I'd written before, I would not have been able to write the words I have now.

my novel's journey: Discovery: Conclusions on the manuscript

On Saturday, June 18, I finished my analysis of Discovery. It was in all about a 20-30 hour project, depending on whether you count the first day of reading, and the imagining, or not. I thought I'd give you the summary, so you can see why this book has been evading me for the past three years:

Theme: The wounds we hold in our souls can be our making or our undoing.

Main idea: The crew of the Edwina Thomas discover an alien device that can show you the hidden parts of your soul; how each reacts to this knowledge will make their lives better--or destroy them all.

Subplots: 11 Total No spoilers, but there are two romantic situations, a couple of lost sheep, a murder in the making, attempted sabotage, daring rescue attempts and of course exploring the ship itself.

Main Characters: 12 (Yes, twelve)
1. Sister Ann: a genius nun with a penchant of speaking in quotes and technical manuals. She understands the device, but cannot make others understand
2. Sister Rita: she joined the Order of Our Lady of the Rescue to escape Earth and the temptation of a romance, but she's still haunted by doubts.
3. James Smith: left priesthood because he thought he was in love with Rita; returned to find her gone. Three years later, they meet again on the Edwina Thomas.
4. William Thoren: power-craving mission commander and head researcher. He sees the Rescue Sisters as a threat to his power base
5. Chris David: PhD candidate who discovered the alien ship by accident. Lives in Thoren's shadow, until he falls in love with Andi
6. "Andi" Andromeda deChavez: commander of the miners in charge of extracting the alien ship. Loves Chris, but his weakness and lack of confidence put her off.
7. Ian Hu: Derive systems specialist with a terrible guilt; had habit of washing hads.
8. Jason Larache: mechanical engineer with a horrifying secret; likes to say he can either laugh or cry. Ann thinks he should have cried more.
9. Merl Prithard: Evangelical type with a lot of fear and a drive to "save" everybody, whether they want to be saved his way or not.
10: Kelli Riggens: a pagan who battles with feelings of rejection
11: OvLandra: a zerog, a race genetically engineered to live in space with a strict racial purity policy
12: Cay Littlefield: a troubled miner with undiagnosed xenophobia

Other Important Characters: 31 named characters in all--here are the top five
1. Sister Thomas "Tommie": pilot of the Rescue Sisters' shuttle. Ex-military who found peace in her calling
2. Captain Jamal Addiman: Captain of the Edwina Thomas
3. Galen Keegan: pilor of the Rockhopper, the miners' ship; Chris's roomie
4. George Powers: a loud mouthed miner; good for saying what needs to be said
5. Zabrina Muha: xenobiologist (microbiology); freaks when sees a real alien

So, as you can see this is not my usual stuff--it's far more complex, and enters territory I've never uncovered, from Church policies on genetic manipulations to planetary astrophysics. Last night, I realized I'm not writing a story; I'm writing an epic science fiction that examines issues of space colonization, religion, and the resilience of our souls. No wonder I've felt intimidated.

But what have I said is the cure for intimidation? Write! So here I go!

my novel's journey: Discovery: Analyzing the manuscript that doesn't work

Last week, I talked about analyzing the story by mind mapping. This is also a terrific brainstorming tool if you want to plot your story out in general terms without a chronological outline. However, in my case, I had a full manuscript of words--just not all the right words--which was already ordered by time.

So in order to figure out what was wrong with the manuscript itself, I started outlining the text itself.

First thing I did was go back to my mind map and give each character a color. I did this so I could see at a relative glance whether the characters were getting enough facetime and if that time was evenly spread or clumped together. Ideally, we'd be learning a bit about the characters as we went along, according to their importance.

Then I started reading and outlining. Now the outline was very general--the chapter, the main ideas as they applied to the conflicts in the mind map. If a detail was important for later, I sometimes noted it as well. I'd run a colored line through a given statement for each character it affects. So, if Sister Ann says something important about Chris to Andi, that statement gets three colored lines.

While I did this, I was also making my list of major and minor characters and some brief notes on them. I had about a dozen half-lists of my characters. As I went along, I could see where I might start combining people and roles to simplify my cast, which is the biggest I've ever worked with. I also started taking notes on things I needed to insert, delete or change, sometimes by page number; sometimes by "before chapter 16, James must do X."

I also started figuring out where the plot holes were. Sometimes, I knew exactly how to plug them; and I'd write NEED THIS SCENE HERE. When I didn't know, I'd write: NEED SOMETHING TO DO X and jot some ideas down.

Whenever any note affected a specific character, it got a line or a star in that character's color.

In my mind-mapping, I already identified a couple of subplots I don't need, so I deleted them, but I saved the text in the comments section in case I wanted bits of it elsewhere.

I spent about seven hours doing the mind-mapping and outlining the first day, and got to page 103 of 198. I had several scenes imagined though not written down. I got through the rest on the second day--about 12 hours total.

my novel's journey: Discovery: Analyzing the story that doesn't work

Sometimes, I know intuitively where a story is failing--or I can show it to my best friend, Ann Lewis, and she can pinpoint the problem like a Great Detective she's written about. In fact, she did that once with Discovery by helping me realize that the plot was too small and--when I complained I felt like I was writing "Love Boat" in space, she made me see I had underutilized my alien ship. In 2009, that made all the difference in the world.

However, in 2011, I have a bigger plot and a great angle on the ship, but it still doesn't work. This time the mess is in the details, and, with 98,000 words written, it's not intuitively obvious. This time, I need to be the investigator.

I've never had to work this hard on a novel, and truth to tell, I've started this process and put it aside several times, trying to jump ahead to intuition. However, it's not worked, so today, I grabbed a stack of paper, colored pens and the computer.

I started just by scanning the entire manuscript. This helped me get back into the mind of the characters and get the gist of the plot. I could already see places I wanted to make changes; however, I refrained from anything but the most minor of edits. I did make some comments in the margins, though.

Now that I had the story fresh, I started mind mapping. Mind Mapping is really the new term for bubble brainstorming: put the main idea in the center bubble, put related idead in connecting bubbles around, and connect until you get the whole. It can look like this (when neatly done):


Step one is to find THE main idea. Holly Lisle says if you can't tell the theme in a single sentence (a simple one at that), then you don't understand your book. I realize now, it's taken three years for me to understand Discovery, but what a revelation now that I do!

I finally understood my main idea: An alien device enables people to see the damaged parts of their souls. Everything will relate to that. So that was my central circle. From there, it was easy--I made circles for the folks who experienced the device and what their damage was. From those circles, I drew causes, effects, others that they influence or are influenced by.

This gave me my cast of major characters and main subplots. After that, I did the same kind of mind mapping for each character and their particular weakness.

Wow, did this work! Now only was I able to clearly define my story, but I also determined who is an important character and who is secondary (which means I can kill some off), but I also discovered some of the holes in the plots I needed to fill and better yet HOW and WHY they needed filling. If I had wanted to, I could have started from scratch with those ten sheets and written the entire book.

But I had 98,000 words already written! Most of it is really good, too. So rather than start over, I now went to analyze the manuscript itself.

My Novel's Journey: Back to Discovery

Neeta Lyffe II is on hold until I can hash out some details with my subject matter expert (on oil refineries, not zombies), and since, I am tired of this monkey on my back, I am determined to finish DISCOVERY this month or early next.

For those who are not familiar, I have had a three year, tragic love affair with this book. It started as a NaNo project and after letting it rest, I found I really liked the characters and wanted to finish it. But it would not finish! I let it sit, shared it with friends, mulled and imagined. In October 2009, I knew what it needed: a bigger and more SF plot. I started again and realized one character was far more interesting than the original duo. For November, I was doing fabulous.

Then the computer died and took all my work--including backups to the external drive--with it. After that, I was writing Neeta Lyffe, and Why God Matters and doing all the marketing for them and ISIG II and... However, Discovery always stayed in my mind...taunting me.

What's worse is that the publisher I hope to sell it to has heard me talk about this book for three conventions, yet I never produce. How embarrassing!

That's it: This year, I make good on my words. I am embarking on my most extensive revision yet. Once again, I will be hacking scenes and killing characters, but this time, I am dealing with an incohesive manuscript, so there will be much to add and knit together as well. Since I plan to immerse myself and get this done quickly, I'm going to devote my blog to the process and progress. Check Thursday for my autopsy of Discovery.

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe II: Cut that subplot!

Usually when I write, I tend to turn off the internal editor and go with where the characters lead. More often than not, they know the best ways to go.

However, the past couple of weeks in Neeta Lyffe II, that backfired.

I had originally anticipated two big zombie confrontations--one at a casino and one at the nearby oil refinery. The ideas came from talking with my sister and brother in law about the Richmond area. I thought the casino idea was going to be a big hit--lots of potential for fun--like a one-armed bandit now sporting an extra arm. Then Roscoe's lost love, Cameron, showed up as the cross dressing torch singer. Or is Cam the cross-dressing Master of Ceremonies? Even I didn't know. Either way, Cam is a dear and has stolen the show in a couple of scenes.

However, once I got to about 50,000 words and heading to the dual finales, the casino idea became more of an obstacle than an enhancement. There wasn't enough time in Neeta's world to handle both and still make an impact, and the whole juxtaposition of the casino and refinery was taking away from the fun of the refinery. After some deliberation, I took the casino out.

Still it's a fun subplot, so I'm thinking about making it the plot of Neeta III, and since we're going to Reno in August, I'll do research.

Clearing away the subplot--and Cameron with it--created holes, and I spent most of the week filling and revising. On the down side, I'm idling at 52,000 words as I clean this up. On the bright side, Gary Opkast and Sheila (soon to be Opkast) have come in to fill Cameron's place, as has a timid waitress who will find courage when defending her customers against the zombie hoard. It's also given me room to examine the zombie invasion of the refinery. Need a reason, right? How about radical environmentalist zombie terrorism?

Information: Reuse, Recycle, but Don't Reduce!

On Sunday, the Catholic Writers' Guild meets in a chat room to talk about writing or faith or whatever. Last Sunday, we actually got to talking about what we were working on, and John Desjarlais, author of the very good mysteries Bleeder and Viper, told us that he was researching life insurance for his next mystery. However, he's found an interesting angle. Did you know that companies can buy out your policy, much like mortgage companies buy out other banks' mortgages? Their payout comes if you die within two years of their having purchased your policy. How bizarre is that?

I'm sure you can see the implications for a murder mystery, but never underestimate the power of good information.

The following Tuesday, I was thinking about Neeta Lyffe: I Left My Brains in San Francisco. I have a sporting event that takes place on an unfinished bridge, and a comment Carole Nelson Douglas made on a panel gave me an idea. One of her books has a CSI-type show, except that people can audition their own deaths. So, thinking along such macabre lines, I decided that there should be a prize for the most flamboyant death in my bridge jumping contest. Then I thought that life insurance should be part of the entry fee.

...and as long as I have life insurance, why not have someone buy out the insurance policies, betting that at least one of the contestants will die? Right now, I'm thinking the City of San Francisco will do it, hoping, perhaps, to raise money to build a bridge they can finish themselves.

My Novel's Journey: Focus and Word Count

The thing about being an accomplished writer isn't so much about being able to write huge amounts of text, but about being consistent.

My first novel, which will be published in September as Mind Over Mind, was written with a single vow: one sentence before bed each day. Sometimes, I got on a roll and did a few paragraphs, rarely more than a page. However, most of the time, I only got that sentence done--and since I was homeschooling two kids and had a toddler and a baby, it was a sentence done half-asleep at that.

Now, of course, the kids are all in public school, and I have several hours to myself, so I am managing, I'd guess, probably 8,000-10,000 words a day. Trouble is, those words aren't all toward my books. I write blogs, facebook posts, e-mails, and waaaay too much marketing stuff. Before that, I did a lot of posts on Yahoo groups. I also write things for the Catholic Writers' Guild and various websites.

Lately, I've been re-evaluating my writing, and have come to the conclusion that a lot of the writing I'm doing isn't giving me the joy I am working toward. Thus, I need to refocus on what I really want. Which is to write stories.

In order to do that, I'm resetting my goals, and building up. Last week, the goal was 1000 words a day, five days a week, just on the novel. The plan is to work to 3000 a day. To accomplish this, I need to set a few things aside, or to give them their rightful place--break times and after the main writing is done.

What's helping me to do that? I post my writing word accomplishment on Facebook. Yeah, it's kind of a silly "Look at me!" thing, but it helps me feel accountable. Second, I have a new writing buddy. Nancy needed someone to be accountable to as well, so she and I meet on IM in the mornings and keep each other on track. Finally, I simply discipline myself. Some days that means turning off my internet access, less I be tempted.

This week's goal is 1200 words a day, five days a week. I'm certain I can make that, and that by the end of the year, I'll be going strong at 3K a day. If Life doesn't toss a curveball at me.

BTW, one thing I plan to do to minimize my marketing efforts is concentrate on my newsletter. I invite bloggers as well as readers to join in. Each time a book comes out, I'll be sending information that you are welcome to post. Register here.

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe II: Inspiration Comes from Writing

What comes first, inspiration or writing?

I think most folks believe that you need to be inspired in order to write, but here's the secret writers who produce works quickly know: Sometimes you have to write before you get inspired.

Here's an example from this week's work on Neeta Lyffe II: I Left My Brains in San Francisco: When I started this week's writing, all I knew was that they were at the exterminator's conference in San Francisco, and that they would have to take on some zombies and that Ted and Neeta needed to get their relationship straightened out. Oh, and Marcel Chelemas would be after Neeta's affections (or at least her body.) Neeta and Ted had signed in at the conference, had the embarrassing situation of sharing one very romantic room (where Ted is being so gentlemanly he might as well be celibate.) They met up with Roscoe (from Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator) and met his true love, Cameron (of the indeterminate gender). It was the next day, and Neeta had to go to an interview with SanFranciscoOnline.

I had no idea what she was going to do there. Rather than put it aside, I just delved in writing.

First, I realized while writing the dinner scene with Roscoe and Cam that Neeta never really worked through her feelings about killing Bergie in the first book. I mean, she knew she did the right thing, but how do you get over chopping off a friend's head with a chainsaw? From that realization--which only came about from writing the dinner scene--I decided to start her day with a nightmare she'd only half remember.

And while we're doing a nightmare, let's have Bergie's head deliver an ominous warning? That also came from the dinner conversation and the comedy act they were watching.

So, you know the expression, "Put your character in a tree. Put vicious dogs at the base. Throw rocks."? Neeta's in the tree. I have no idea where the dogs are or what my rocks look like. So I just start with her waking up and let her lead me.

She didn't remember the dream at all, just woke up flustered. Inspiration--Bergie will have to come back, each time, she'll recall just a bit more. Now I have future scenes figured out.

Since she's flustered for no reason, she finds one--Ted. Are they dating or not? Oh, and she doesn't want to do the interview and she's tired of worrying about money... That takes me until she's dressed and waking up Ted so he can get ready for the conference.

By now, the subconscious has taken over. The characters are acting on their own and I just record. As they do, I get new glimpses of how things work:

Ted makes a comment about not being jealous because he's got nothing to be jealous of. He and I know it's because he's confident that Neeta and he are meant to be, but Neeta doesn't know that. He also tells her that they are spending the next morning together on Fisherman's Warf. At this point, I'm at my goal for the day.

The next day, I have to write the interview. I almost decided to skip this scene and wait to see what I need to foreshadow, but I figured I could at least get her to the studio. As I started writing, I realized I didn't want a typical studio for an online show, so I looked up houses for sale in San Francisco and based it on a nice one I found in the $500,000 range. Suddenly, I knew the story behind the studio--the family business of a former TV anchor with a jealous husband who decided to quit TV to stay home with the kids. Her husband suggested they start their own online show and now it's hugely successful.

Jealous husband? What about Ted not being jealous, ever? Inspiration--for Neeta and me. Suddenly, Marcel has weaseled his way onto the show, mostly with the intention of meeting Neeta. Neeta sees the husband's protective reaction to Marcel being around his wife, and thinks maybe she could provoke a reaction from her own man.

End result, she let herself get talked into doing something with Marcel when she's supposed to be at Fisherman's Warf with Ted.

And now I know what I'm writing tomorrow.

The thing is, if I'd let myself wait until all this came to me, it would not have. It took the physical act of writing them through the events to let my characters tell me what comes next.

Writing doesn't need to begin with inspiration, but writing breeds inspiration.

Chatterday: Can you cut your manuscript?

Thursday, I talked about cutting manuscripts and gave some tips. Today, I want to know..

How do you cut your manuscript? Can you do it? Is it hard? Share with us a story about your best editing victory or worse editing nightmare.

Write Tight--tips for cutting your prose.

I read a story about Spider Robinson, one of the greats in science fiction, and how he learned to write tight. He used to submit stories to Astounding Magazine and editor John Campbell--a pioneer of the genre--would write him back saying, essentially, "Great story. Cut it by half. "(or a third, I don't remember which.) Spider would then rant and snarl, then get to work, cut the story, and find himself surprised that not only could he do it, but that the story turned out great.

This past week, I felt very close to Spider. I did another cutting marathon; this time, taking my novella "Greater Treasures" from 10,000 words to 13,300. It taxed my philosophy that just about any story can be cut by a third, and it took six hours to get to size, but I did it and I like the result.

Cutting can be very hard for writers--every word is important, right? In truth, you can chop and still preserve the story. Here're some hints:

1. Kill the passive voice. Usually, you can find a stronger verb for "was" or "has."
2. Kill progressive voice. This is was/is and a ver ending in -ing. Vern talks in progressive voice a lot, but I've found that when cutting, I can use a simple past tense instead. "I watched" instead of "I was watching." This is not always the case, though, so be careful.
3. Kill the -ly words by using a stronger verb. "I moved quietly" becomes "I stalked."
4. Kill off or combine characters. If you have a lot of side characters, you can make some do double-duty or remove them totally. Do you really need the taxi driver AND the barman to give your protagonist advice, or can one do it--or maybe a different character, like an informant? In another story I cut this week, I had two cops, but one was more decoration. He got removed.
5. Cut asides and side plots. Does your character really need that trip down memory lane? Does the conversation further the plot or is it just interesting? Anything that does not move the plot forward can be cut.
6. Don’t be so clever. This was the hard one for me. Vern has a lot of sarcastic comments to make, but I had to sacrifice some in order to make the word count. Oddly, even though they hurt while cutting, I didn't notice their absence when reading the final version aloud. Your readers will not know the great material that ended up on the cutting room floor, but if you cut intelligently, you will keep the spirit and have enough wit still in the cleaner version to make an impact.

Cutting, once you get into the swing of it, is actually a fun challenge. Seldom now do editors come back like Mr. Campbell asking for cuts, but you might try this exercise on some of your own work. You might get it down to a size that makes it more marketable, or come up with a version that will get you into a different market--like flash. Either way, it's a good way to learn what's really essential and to help you learn to "write tight."

Here's a little before-and-after. Do you miss the 30 words I axed?
Before:

Grace hid the TV by closing the door to the closet in which it stood, then peered out the miniblinds. "She's good with the dogs--friendly, but not gushing over them. Nice outfit--business, but not too out of place. Sensible shoes. Her hair's redder than mine."

The window was partly open, so I used my sniffer. "Out of a bottle. She's got money, too. More than you should carry around in this part of town."

"Good. The mortgage is due and I need some supplies for the workshop. And I've flooded the ‘local’ arcane market with dragon urine."

I shrugged. Every part of a dragon--from fangs to fewmets--has some kind of magical value and is highly prized in the magical market on Faerie. Of course, St. George had taken most of that away from me with his spell, but there was one thing he couldn't mess with, and that was a natural reaction of dragon digestion. I didn't mind filling a few bottles to sell. Too much of our work depended on Grace's magic.

"Here she comes," Grace said and took her place at her desk. She used a cantrip to open the door just before our stranger could.

"Welcome to Dragon Eye Private Investigation Agency," I said over her discomfiture. "I'm Vern and this is Sister Grace. How can we help you?"

After:
Grace sighed with relief as she turned off the TV. The local Geraldo-wannabe had invited a couple of Mundane Neo-Nazis and some Faerie toughs to discuss their differences. One skinhead had just announced that once they had eradicated the "fairy contagion," they'd resume their crusade to purify the "proper" human race. I'd been betting the audience would storm the stage and was looking forward to the ensuing ruckus.

"Awww…"

"The mortgage is due and I need supplies for the workshop," Grace scolded. "And I've flooded the ‘local’ arcane market with dragon urine."

"Okay." Every part of a dragon--from fangs to fewmets--has magical value. Of course, St. George had taken most of that away from me with his spell, but there was one thing he couldn't mess with, and that was a natural reaction of dragon digestion. I didn't mind filling a few bottles to sell. Too much of our work depended on Grace's magic. But you could only sell so much, so I made nice as our customer entered.

"Welcome to Dragon Eye Private Investigation Agency. I'm Vern and this is Sister Grace. How can we help you?"

"My name is Eva, Eva Heidler, and…" She sniffled.

New program makes it easy to edit backwards

I love the cool stuff that happens at the Catholic Writers Conference Online!

During the conference, some of us were chatting about editing, and a couple of us mentioned the value of reading your manuscript backwards. I've told you this before: Start with your last sentence; read, evaluate and edit; then move to the next sentence; and so on until you reach the first sentence of your manuscript. It separates the words from the context and lets you consider each sentence on its own merit.

Bill Powell said, "There ought to be an easy program for re-arranging the manuscript for you." People loved the idea. Most of us thought it'd be some kind of programming nightmare, but he said he could do it.

And he did!

Check out Proofread backwards. It's a free program online that will re-arrange your manuscript. It's super-easy, too. I plugged in a plain text version of Fern Gullible, and got this:

========================================================================

PROOFREADBACKWARDS.WINESKINMEDIA.COM

Original file: Fern_Gullible_by_Karina_Fabianpt.txt

Reversed for free at http://proofreadbackwards.wineskinmedia.com

Email to leave comments and feedback.

========================================================================

[Original End of Manuscript]

Fabian--Fern Gullible--7

----

I tilted my head toward the third-story apartment, where with my keen senses, I could hear Willow and Maden laughing as Fern told her all about her "dream."

----

Like I said, it's on my Territory."

----

"Nah.

----

Are you charging to department for this one, Vern?"

----

I'll think about it.

----

"All right!

----

Santry sighed.

----

The shut the window, but not before we heard the laughter.

----

"Rumplestiltskin!"

----

We looked to where Willow, Maden and Fern leaned out the window, Fern's head on the gnome's.

----

"Captain Santry!"

----

He grumbled.

----

"Yeah, I'll consider it."

All I can say is, "Bill! You da MAN!"

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter edits

Sorry this is late, but I did finish the backwards edit on Mind Over Mind.

Incidentally, I'm changing the title (publisher approving, of course) to Mind Over Psyche because it fits the plot better. I'd like to use Mind Over Matter for last one, I think.

What's a backwards edit? You start with the last sentence of the manuscript, read and evaluate it, make changes. Then you read the next to the last sentence, evaluate and make changes. Then the one before that... You keep going until the first sentence of the manuscript.

So why edit backwards?

It forces you to look at each sentence on its own merit.
It keeps you from getting caught up in the plot.
It stops your mind from filling in blanks based on context.
It lets you look at a sentence for language use rather than mere utility.
Sometimes, you catch logical disconnects that you didn't see reading forwards.

Here are a couple of examples:

Man, did I use the words "suddenly" and "just" a lot. Neither I nor my critiquers (save one) notice when caught in the plot, but when backwards, I realized I'd used it several times on one page.

I caught a lot of passive voice. Taking the sentences out of context made me more aware of passive voice (was, is are) and progressive (am doing, was doing). Many times, I could cut those. Ditto for adverbs.

I realized that I had Deryl riding a unicorn BEFORE he put his clothes back on. Lady Godiva, he is not! Changed that.

I found places I could add more foreshadowing.

I discovered one place where I headhopped. It was seemless when reading it forward, but jarring backward.

I made a lot of sentences stronger.

Old: He was aware, too, or how hard Tasmae had hit him and how much his neck and throat ached.

New: His neck throbbed from Tasmae's choking and his head with it.

I also had the joy of realizing that I love this book just as much backward as forward. When I can say that, I know I've done well!


Now, I have to put in the changes. The manuscript is 98,350 words. What do you think it will be when I'm done?

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe II: My big, fat, twisted quandry

Location, location, location!

One thing I've enjoyed about Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator is that it takes place a few decades in the future in real cities. I had a lot of fun giving new twists to old locales and businesses (like when I called the state licensing division for some advice on how they would license a zombie exterminator. I'd like to think he still talks about that one.)

Of course, it also means I have some quandries keeping it real while fantastic. For Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, I spent an entire day on Google Earth looking at a half-block empty lot trying to decide if it worked for my finale. This time, my problem is hotel accommodations.

Neeta and Ted are going to a conference, and Ted's mom, who's hoping to give them a little nudge in the romance arena, changes their hotel reservations to someplace luxurious and swanky. My brother-in-law suggested the W, which is great since Neeta was an arts major, and there are galleries all around it. Then we got to joking that by 2040, they may have changed letters. He suggested the X, but I thought it's be funny for them to stay at the Y. (The YMCA could be going back to its original model of a shelter after finding that just being a cheap family gym isn't working financially.)

Of course, the folks who own the W might not find it so funny.

Thus, my quandry: Do I call the W and see if I can use their hotel in an updated setting? Ted can mix up the letters if they don't want it bought out by the YMCA. Or do I find a nearby location and build a Y? I can burn down the Rochester Big and Tall. (Note to Homeland Security: Just for the book! I swear! We like Big & Tall. Really!) Then the Y could buy it out, put a gym on the ground floor, shelters and cheap accommodations like hostels on several floors, and have the top two floors just for luxury suites that pay for the rest. (Ted's mom is community-minded in her own way.)

Got to admit; I'm kind of liking the Y idea. I can have metal detectors as you walk in; a place to check in knives, extra security on the top floors. Neeta will be freaking out until they get to their suite. Then she can freak out for a whole different reason--

--but that would be a spoiler!

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter--what I hope to get from my critiquers

Mind Over Matter is off to my crit crew, which is usually a few trusted readers who are also good writers, plus a couple of folks who volunteer.

There's a difference between a critique and an edit that a lot of folks don't get. Edits are very specific and are usually corrections rather than suggestions. Naturally, finding typos constitutes and edit. Going through a manuscript and picking out all the passive voice, is IMHO, an edit. Edits also are focused on what is wrong in a story.

Critiques are more general and broader reaching--comments on voice, point of view, plot progression and the like. Sometimes, these combine with edits, like if a critiquer points out an instance of head-hopping. (That's changing the point of view from one character to another in the middle of a paragraph or scene.) Critiques also focus on what's right. So a critique might sound like
"I didn't believe Joshua's motivation when he..."
"You mentioned this fact four times. We get it already!"
"This is an intense scene!"
"I love how you..."
"You do really well when you ____ in this scene; I'd like to see you do more of that in _____chapter."
"This flashback threw me out of the story; could you rewrite it in realtime and put it earlier?"

I'm not looking for a line-by-line, because I'm not ready for that, and I also do pretty well with that on my own. However, I'm hoping I can get some good feedback on the book as a whole.