Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts

Thursday, August 01, 2013

How Zombies Changed the World (or at Least, as I See It)



A Creation Story of Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.


In the Beginning, there were…

ZOMBIES!

Well, no, that's not quite how it worked.  True, I knew I had to make a world with zombies for Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, but  before I could bring in zombies, I needed a world to bring them into.  When I worldbuild, I try to look at all angles, from the geography to the vegetation, the habits and cultures of its inhabitants, and how it all fits into the story.

Fortunately, Neeta Lyffe was unique to me in that it takes place in our world--Los Angeles--just a couple of decades in the future.  So Hollywood (or Hollyweird, as some of my friends called it) happenings, American culture and politics, and international events and history became my template.
Now, enter the zombies.

That, of course, was where the fun began:  how would the emergence of zombies affect the world?  Being optimistic about the future in general, I didn't want an apocalypse.  I think we're too smart a race for that kind of runaway contagion.  We'd get smart on zombie combat and prevention, fast. However, being somewhat cynical about human nature when taken en masse, there was a lot of fun to be had in twisting our practices and beliefs in reaction to the rising undead.  So I plucked some things from my own experience, and applied them to zombies.

Voter fraud:  Now they really can have the dead vote!

Government regulation:  The federal government does a great thing by mandating that all dead must have their spine severed before burial, which has cut down the emerging zombie population greatly.  However, LA refuses to put money into tearing down a known zombie hot-spot because it's too much trouble and the zombies aren't doing anything at the moment, anyway.

Conspiracy theorists:  One expert blames the H1N1 vaccine for causing the pandemic, and the government and pharmaceutical companies are covering it up.  (You can read about it in his book.)
Radical Environmentalism:  Global warming causes zombie-ism!

Blatant commercialism:  "Ms. Lyffe, we want you to be the spokeswoman for our newest line of health drinks--Longevitize."  (The photo the lawyer shows her is of her standing knee-deep in zombies and holding a can in her hand. Caption: After the re-kill, Longevitize.)

International wars:  Iran invades Afghanistan, and the dead Afghan freedom fighters come back to attack them.

And of course, the main idea of the story, Reality TV:  Neeta Lyffe trains up apprentice exterminators in Zombie Death Extreme.  The contestants have a shot at winning a million dollars--if they survive.

Worldbuilding is a lot of fun, and sometimes, it doesn't take a lot to create a new and believable world.  Sometimes, all you need to do is toss in a zombie.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Interview with a Zombie Exterminator

I'm offline for a few weeks, enjoying adventures with my husband and writing in notebooks.  In the meantime, here's a fun interview of Neeta Lyffe for your enjoyment.  The photo is actually my sister, Gina Koske, who is a personal trainer in LA.  Wish I could get her to post for the covers!



Good afternoon Neeta. It's so good to finally meet you.

It's a pleasure, Amanda.  I appreciate this chance to tell folks about zombie extermination.  It's a growing specialization--unfortunately, because the demand is still growing--but every one of us hopes to work ourselves out of a job eventually.

So, tell me, why did you choose your career path as a zombie exterminator?

It's a family business.  My mother, God rest her soul, was a single mom working as a general exterminator when she and her partner inadvertently stumbled upon a huge zombie infestation  while investigating what a cemetery thought were rats.  She and her partner discovered they had a talent for mowing down zombies.  (In this case, literally.  That riding lawn mower saved more than a few lives that night.)  Since there was obviously a need, they specialized.  Mom was a real activist for the cause of zombie extermination and prevention as well.  I hope she looks at my efforts with the reality TV show, Zombie Death Extreme as another way of building awareness.

What makes a good zombie exterminator? 

Strength:  strong arms, strong will, strong nerves… and a strong stomach.  You also need to be able to think on your feet.  Zombies, as we've come to learn, are far more variable than we saw in the movies.  It's amazing what can be used against them.  That's why I urge everyone to remember that your best defense against a zombie is not that butcher knife on the counter, but the cleaning products under the counter, the hamburger in the fridge, and the television.  (Turn it on and run!)

What's the best way to kill a zombie?

You have to destroy the brain:  sever the spine at the neck.  Decapitation, smash their brains.  Setting them on fire works well if they're I an advanced state of decay, but sometimes, that only stalls them enough to give you a chance to go for the neck.

Do you have a favorite weapon?

Chainsaw and a supersoaker full of TidyToidy.  They're the most effective, IMHO, but the chainsaw does get heavy.  I train a lot.

How does one secure one's home against the undead?

First, attitude.  Often an ARM (Animated Rotting Meat) will return to a familiar place--a home, workplace, bar…  Some people still think it's a miracle that their loved one is returning from the dead.  It's not--it's a tragedy in the making.  These are not people anymore.  I can't state that enough.  A moment's hesitation at seeing Uncle Joe can cost you your life--and maybe bring you back to hurt those you love.

Second, cell phone and car keys.  Most major cities have a skilled Z-Mat team and exterminators on call.  Get in your car and dial 9-1-1 as you speed away.  Some zombies are fast, but none can outrun a speeding car.

Third, cleaning products.  We don't know why, but with few exceptions, cleaning products will repel zombies.  Not the enviro-friendly stuff, however.  Bleach. Amonia.  You know those scrubbing bubbles?  Those are actually kind of funny to watch--but don't delay your escape to get some video on your cell phone!  Trust me, YouTube is not worth your life!

After that, imagination is your best defense.  Some zombies can be deflected by cigarettes; others by a beer.  Some will stop dead (pardon the pun) to watch Days of Our Lives.  In the Middle East, many devout families nonetheless keep a package of bacon in their refrigerators just for zombie defense.  Whatever you do, however, try it and run.


Is it true that if you blend in with a horde of zombies and pretend to be one, they will leave you alone?

No.  Oh, please, please, Amanda!  If any of your readers believes that tell them no!  They may get distracted by a pound of raw hamburger, but they can definitely tell the difference between a fresh brain and an undead one!

Thank you so much for your time.

No problem.  I hope folks will take a look at the book Karina Fabian wrote about some of my adventures on the Zombie Death Extreme Set.  It's called Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.  It's a fun way to learn more about zombies and zombie defense.

Purchase links:

Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator :  http://amzn.to/hTqMGa
I Left My Brains in San Francisco: http://amzn.to/Nzm01L
Learn more about the Zombie Exterminator novels at http://zombiedeathextreme.com
Find out about all of Karina Fabian’s books at http://fabianspace.com

Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Latest in Zombie Fighting Technology

I'm offline for a few weeks, enjoying adventures with my husband and writing in notebooks instead of computers!  Here today is an excerpt from I Left My Brains in San Francisco for you enjoyment:



The Zombie Exterminator novels take place in 2040, a time of manure-based fuels, Global Fattening, and the shambling undead.  For your pleasure, I present to you an excerpt from I Left My Brains in San Francisco, in which we learn about the latest in zombie fighting technology.


"Kelsey Gardenberger here with Ron Potter on the DoCam, and we are the Zomblog.  We are at the ZomZeitgeber Expo floor, talking with Expo Man.  Hello, Expo Man!"

The fully suited, helmeted android twisted its head and said in a purposely mechanized voice, "Hello, Kelsey Gardenberger.  Hello, Zomblog viewers."   It raised its hand in a stiff wave.

Kelsey laughed.  "As you can see, Expo Man is running Retro Animation 2 for Animatronics.  You can download the freeware version by clicking the link on the sidebar.  Expo Man is also modeling the latest in extermination wear.  Expo Man, can you tell us what you have?"

The android paused while it whirred for a programmed one-point-five seconds; then it replied in a voice more reminiscent of the still running The Price is Right.  "That's right, Kelsey!  I am sporting the essentials for the well-prepared--and well-dressed--exterminator.  Starting with my head, I have a Motomania's Apocalypse 2000.  Sturdy and lightweight, with the latest in night vision--and an optional visor wiper!"

It touched a button on the side of its head and a small windshield wiper swiped the faceplate while cleaning fluid flowed from the top.

"Perfect for removing zombie gore--or when motorcycling through the foggy mornings of San Francisco!  Motomania's Apocalypse 2000. 

"My HazMat suit, courtesy of Sausalito Professional Wear, is a durable yet ecologically friendly blend of natural rubbers and synthetic polymers, combined with nanite technology.  Designed by Exterminator Outfitters' Edmund Acolyte, two-time winner of the International Golden Scissors, it moves like a dream while removing the bulkiness of most HazMat suits.  Nonetheless, it's also packed with pockets--front, back, hips and thigh--for easy access to those wonderful thrown distractions that the cunning exterminator uses--plus a Velcro-sealed pocket for your car keys.  Attractive and practical--that's Exterminator Outfitters.

"But no amount of headgear or suit safety will save you if your feet aren't protected.  That's why Go-lashes, Inc. has come up with their best footwear since the Stomp.  The Treads live up to their name, with even heavier, longer-lasting soles and improved arch support.  The redesigned sole provides an extra spring in your step.  Whether stalking the undead or running away like a ninny--better Tread than dead!

"Of course, you won't be running away if you're armed with the latest in extermination technology!  Let's begin with the ranged weapons."

The Ghostbusters theme, remixed by ZombieRoulette for the Belching Dragon Flamethrower Company, played out of Expo Man's chest as he reached behind his back and pulled out the nozzle of the flamethrower.  "You know who to call!  And when you need to take out a large group of zombies fast, there's nothing like good old-fashioned firepower.  The Belching Dragon series of flamethrowers has long been a favorite among exterminators, and this latest model is sure to please.  The Mark 9's longer nozzle contains plasma rifling to ensure a more targeted stream, while Belching Dragon's patented turbos provide extra thrust, increasing flame distance by up to five feet without sacrificing accuracy.  The onboard breeze meter is married to the computer to automatically adjust the plasma rifling to compensate for wind.  When the shambling undead threaten your territory, it's time to call in the Dragon."

As the theme music died out, Expo Man returned the flamethrower to its slot and raised its arm to show the tubing attached to its wrist and elbow.

"The power squirt gun has long been a standby in zombie extermination, but with Squirz, they'll soon be a thing of the past.  Why deal with bulky plastic when the automatic, air powered Squirz attaches neatly to the arm, yet sends a stream of your favorite zombie repellent up to twenty feet?  With a simple switch, you can set it from stream to spray.  The flexible plastic liquid containment pouch, or LCP, fits over the hips and across the back, allowing most operators to carry up to five gallons without strain."

Expo Man reached into his belt and pulled out a short cylindrical hilt.  He waved it around as he activated the switch in a classic Star Wars move.  A thin line of light unfolded from the hilt.

"Also new on the market, but becoming a fast favorite, are the monofilament swords.  Here's the Highlander Original.  Note the ergonomic design of the handle and easy-access thumb switch for turning it off and on.  The VEB, or visible electronic beam, that surrounds the blade has five standard color settings--or download your own favorite color.  Who says exterminators can't be fashionable?  Remember:  when the head must come away from the neck, you need the Highlander."

Expo Man whirred to a stop with a polycarbonate smile at Kelsey.  She returned it with a plastic one of her own.  "Um…no chainsaw?" she asked innocently, although she bit down on the sides of her lips in hidden mirth.

Expo Man straightened.  "I'm sorry, but after the Craftsmaster Demonstration Fiasco of 2046, animatronics have been forbidden to handle chainsaws in public areas."

Kelsey pursed her lips in a sympathetic pout.  "Of course.  Thank you so much, Expo Man.  Would you like to sign us out?"

"I thank you, Kelsey Gardenberger."  Expo Man turned toward the camera.  "This is Expo Man at ZomZeitgeber 2047, and you are watching the ZomBlog."
Purchase links:

Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator :  http://amzn.to/hTqMGa
I Left My Brains in San Francisco: http://amzn.to/Nzm01L
Learn more about the Zombie Exterminator novels at http://zombiedeathextreme.com
Find out about all of Karina Fabian’s books at http://fabianspace.com

Monday, October 29, 2012

Shambling in a Winter Wonderland

Coming Nov. 19, my next serial fundraiser story! 

Cover Art by Frr Mallory.  Story at http://skizombies.karinafabian.com


Zombie exterminators Neeta and Ted head to the slopes for a much-deserved break, but when a ski team that died in an avalanche dig themselves out of their snowy graves to finish the competition, it looks like a working vacation after all. 

"Shambling in a Winter Wonderland" will raise money for Operation Homefront. Operation Homefront provides emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors.

Through generous, widespread public support and a collaborative team of exceptional staff and volunteers, we aspire to become the provider of choice for emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors. Where there is a need we do not provide, we will partner with others for the benefit of our military families. 


Once again, I'm asking for donations.  You can donate as little as a dollar.  Every ten dollars aggregate will get the next episode put up.  (I anticipate 19 episodes, based on the lines of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland.") $25 or more will get you a choice of the Neeta Lyffe books, and $45 or more will get you both books.

Regardless of whether you donate or not, you are welcome to read along at http://skizombies.karianfabian.com

Monday, October 22, 2012

Monday, October 01, 2012

I Left My Brains in San Francisco goes on tour!



I'm touring I Left My Brains in San Francisco all this month.  Check out these sites for some zombie and writing fun!


30-Sep
http://pennylockwoodehrenkranz.blogspot.com/ interview
1-Oct
http://apiusman.blogspot.com guest post
2-Oct
http://apiusman.blogspot.com interview
3-Oct
http://apiusman.blogspot.com review
4-Oct
http://tributebooksreviews.blogspot.com Info
5-Oct
http://www.kees2create.com.au/the-other-side/ Info
6-Oct
http://virginiajennings.webs.com/apps/blog/ interview
7-Oct
http://thebookconnectionccm.blogspot.com guest post from neeta
8-Oct
http://cookinwithmisshavana.blogspot.com/ guest post on how the story came to be & review
8-Oct
http://www.writersfunzone.com/blog/ Writer's Fun Zone  ILMBISF
8-Oct
tracysmorris.com guest post--writing plot or finding time to write
9-Oct
http://virginiajennings.webs.com/apps/blog/ guest post--future tech
10-Oct
http://lincolncrisler.info  guest post
11-Oct
http://fabianspace.blogspot.com guest post from george or kim
11-Oct
http://www.snoringscholar.com Twitterview
11-Oct
http://www.freethewriterinside.com interview
12-Oct
http://www.kees2create.com.au/the-other-side/ Interview
13-Oct
www.rebeccaminto.blogspot.com Interview
14-Oct
http://www.garywolson.com/blog/ keeping zombies fresh
15-Oct
http://fabianspace.blogspot.com Fun Facts About NLZE2
15-Oct
http://tmarquitz.com exclusive excerpt
16-Oct
http://www.snoringscholar.com Review
17-Oct
www.dennisauthor.com  info
18-Oct
http://www.snoringscholar.com Guest Post--A catholic writes non-Catholic work
19-Oct
http://www.kees2create.com.au/the-other-side/ Guest Post-Writing Tips
20-Oct
http://michaelrwilsonfiction.wordpress.com/ Review
21-Oct
http://michaelrwilsonfiction.wordpress.com/ Interview
22-Oct
http://publottery.blogspot.com interview
22-Oct
http://fabianspace.blogspot.com Zombie Make-Up tutorial
22-Oct
thedeadwarseries.com Info-Neeta Lyffe
23-Oct
http://potsnpens.blogspot.com/ recipe
24-Oct
http://roxannebland.com guest post
25-Oct
http://www.snoringscholar.com Review
25-Oct
http://www.freethewriterinside.com guest post on zombies
25-Oct
http://susannedrazic.blogspot.com/ Neeta Interview
26-Oct
http://www.kees2create.com.au/the-other-side/ Gust Post-Marketing Tips
26-Oct
http://karencioffiwritingandmarketing.com Building Neeta's World
27-Oct
http://www.provozombiechase.com/ LIVE signing in Provo
27-Oct
http://josephbspencer.com/blog interview
28-Oct
http://www.suhalfwerk.blogspot.com/  Info, 
29-Oct
http://fabianspace.blogspot.com Shambling in a Winter Wonderland
29-Oct
thedeadwarseries.com Info, ILMBiSF
30-Oct
http://beccabutcher.wordpress.com interview
31-Oct
http://www.writersfunzone.com/blog/ review
1-Nov
http://fabianspace.blogspot.com/p/are-you-next-zombie-idol.html  Zombie Idol Contest Ends
2-Nov
http://www.kees2create.com.au/the-other-side/ Review & Giveaway











































































































































































Thursday, September 27, 2012

My novel's journey: Shambling in a Winter Wonderland

Frankly, this story should have been done by now.  I am being a lazybones, and I got a bad cold and my "muse" is calling in sick.  Plus, I've been working on editing Greater Treasures, a DragonEye novella to self-publish, having fun with Photoshop Elements, the trial version, and I listened to a rather discouraging teleseminar on how to get rich as an author.  (Verdict: I am not interested in doing what they suggest and thus am doomed to author pauperdom.)

Yadda, yadda, excuses, excuses...

Anyway, I did manage this cute scene, based on teh behavior of our new basset, Beaux.  It's for "Shambling in a Winter Wonderland," which goes live Nov 19 to raise funds for Operation Homestead. (http://skizombies.karinafabian.com)

Cover by Frr Mallory



 Hambone bounded through the snow, the wide pads of his stubby legs leaving heavy footprints.  He struggled up the snowdrift, then paused, mouth open and panting, his breath making tiny clouds.  His ears dragged in the snow, and he shook them, annoyed at the cold tips.  He could hear his owner calling his name, but he ignored it.  There was a smell!

He raised his head, seeking the strongest scent.  The cold air stung his nose.  The cold air brought the best smells, and this one was strong and new.  What could it be?  It was kind of people and kind of raw hamburger…  Oh, he had to know!  

He lowered his head.  It was close, maybe even under the snow, close.  He moved further up the hill, sniffing, ignoring the exasperated cries of his master.  He always came back, and usually with something new and interesting to present.  The Master would put it on the Caroline’s desk and the laugh while she shrieked.  The more she shrieked, the better Hambone’s reward.  He’d get something grand this time, for sure!

He heard another sound, a kind of low moan.  Busted!  He tilted his head back, baying, and was rewarded by a sharp, commanding call of his name.  He ignored the call but galumphed toward the other sound.  The smell came from that direction.  The snow moved.  He paused, head tilted, then perked.  Something blue was under it.  Blue and moving.  Hooray—toy!

With scurrying legs, he dug up the prize and grasped it with his teeth.  It resisted at first.  Tug-of-war!  Hambone loved tug-of-war.  He braced his legs and pulled.  The toy’s groaning turned to growls and he growled back.  Mine, mine!

A rip and a wafting of hamburger smell, and it was his!  Just in time, too—the gentle snowfall had started to get icy.  Now that he had solved the mystery of the smell, he wanted to curl up in front of the warm fire and get belly rubs.  He turned his back on the groaning, spreadhis legs, and piddled so all the world would know of his victorious presence!

He trotted back toward his master, his mouth full of his prize—a partly rotted arm in a blue jacket sleeve, its blue-gloved fingers curled with the middle one extended in a universal symbol of anger and defiance.  

Wouldn’t his master be proud?
This is Beaux, a 9-year-old basset we adopted a couple of weeks ago.  He's a derpy dog and a cuddler, but I hope he never comes home with a zombie arm.