Mini-Review: Full Asylum by Michael Isenberg

Summary:  The economy has crashed (again), the Nanny State is out of control, and software engineer Gimbel O’Hare just wants to do his job. Not easy, given that his boss is out to get him, the Department of Justice has him under surveillance, and one of his co-workers is suing him for sexual harassment. He finds refuge from the stress by indulging in spy movies, an obsession that leads him on an off-the-wall journey around metro-Washington. From the ruins of a once fashionable mall to a psychiatric ward in a military hospital, Gimbel is on the trail of a dangerous – and possibly imaginary – conspiracy to steal a presidential election and fundamentally transform America.

Mini Review:  Micheal Isenberg is a genius at political satire--not just intelligent, but smart.  He has a great combination of humor--from Abbot and Costello antics to biting wit.  It's an absorbing read with fun characters.   Enjoy the ride as Gilbert goes from a Dilbertesque existence to an adventure worthy of 007 himself.

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Dragons Don't understand Come-Ons

This is an article I wrote for a blog when Live and Let Fly came out in e-book in 2011.  I love this book, I really do.  Vern is witty and fun, the plot is a roller-coaster of close scrapes and touching scenes, and the characters gave me their best.  Sadly, it has not sold well, and won't be going into print.  I've gotten back the print rights and may self-pub it, because I like having hard copies of my books.  In the meantime, I thought I'd share some of the fun, and if you enjoy this and like e-books, please check it out at http://tinyurl.com/LiveAndLetFly or http://tinyurl.com/amazonllf.

My latest book, Live and Let Fly, is a super-spy spoof starring my dragon detective, Vern.  I’ve written a lot of Vern’s cases over the years, but this time, Vern’s going to have to travel to places in the Mundane world working as an undercover agent.

There’s a problem being an undercover agent in our world, however.  Dragons just don’t blend in with the population.  So I had to turn Vern human.

Vern has been human once before, thanks to a demon’s curse, but it was a harrowing and confusing experience that he’d mostly forgotten.  (You can only imagine what it takes to make a dragon forget an experience.)  This time, however, holy magic transforms him for a good cause.  Nonetheless, it’s kind of a harrowing experience for him, especially when he discovers that he looks the same as when he was cursed—a rather gorgeous man with dark, Irish looks.  He panics and whines until an exasperated Sister Grace suggests they stuff him full of sweets until he gets fat and develops acne.

     “Will that work?”

     “No, you silly dragon, and that’s the point!  You have this form because if you were human, that’s the form God would have given you.  It’s a trustworthy face.  Just be careful around the ladies.”

So, not only does he have to deal with uncomfortable shoes, intercontinental plane flights in coach, and the moniker “Drake Muldoon,” he’s got to watch out for women.  Only problem is, he’s a dragon—androgynous and sexless.  What’s he know?

Poolside at the luxurious island resort, Vern manages to fend off one interested lady by telling her he’s “devoted” to someone.  Later, he and his partner, Charlie, have to meet their contact at a big hotel party.  They pass by a couple necking behind a potted plant, but it doesn’t phase him.  As a dragon, he’s seen plenty of humans mating.  He can handle the dancing part, too.  Dragons love to dance, although their dancing is aerial, aggressive, and thoroughly enjoyable, but also completely without sexual overtones.  Thus, when he and one of the beautiful women he’d been dancing with head off the floor and to the bar for a drink, he’s thinking they’re going to cool off.

Not quite what she had in mind.

"Better," I sighed. She started to order us some margaritas, but I stopped her and ordered an iced coffee. "If I have anything alcoholic now, I'll be asleep before I hit my bed," I told her.

"Can't have that," she murmured. "So, do you have plans for Festival? I hear it's a fascinating ceremony." She dragged the word "fascinating" out in a way I probably should have recognized but didn't. Hey, I was tired.

I shrugged. "My friend Nigel's not much for parties. We'll probably just hang around the hotel."

"Doing what? The power's going to be off, you know. For the whole weekend, we're going to live like the primitives."

"Kirsti should like that," I murmured. Yeah, I was tired, and my legs felt like lead. If I'd been a dragon, I would have flexed my claws to work out some of the kinks; instead, I pointed and flexed my toes just to keep them from stiffening up.

The bartender gave us our drinks, and we clicked glasses. The cold coffee felt wonderful going down my throat. I took three big swallows before I realized I was being careless. After all, what's the cliché in these cases? I rolled my next sip around my tongue, testing for any trace of drugs. Aliciya watched me, a shy smile on her lips, fingers twisting her hair. I grinned back.

She leaned forward and started rubbing my knee. That felt good.

I purred. Dragon brain, dragon reaction. I shut my eyes and relaxed.

"Hey, you, don’t fall asleep here. I've got to ask you something."

Oops. I sat up and leaned on my elbows. I looked straight into her eyes so she'd know I was paying attention. "What's that?"

"Well, Kirsti's sweet, so she just sort of takes things at face value, but I want to know. You're not married?"

Huh? "No."

"Engaged?" She leaned a little closer.

I shook my head.

"So, just how...devoted...are you?" She licked her lips.

That's when I realized, she wanted to drag me behind the potted plant!

Oh, oh.

Dragon brain plus human body equals vocal cord short circuit. All that came out of my mouth as she leaned closer was, "uhhhh..."

Vern gets out of it, though not quite in the way he expected.  I hope you’ll read about it and all his other close calls as a human and a dragon in Live and Let Fly.

Introducing Stan Rakness by Karina Fabian

I'm taking June off to go to Virginia and Disneyworld with the family before Rob deploys, so I'm rerunning some of writing posts I wrote for other blogs.

The great thing about my DragonEye, PI universe it that it’s BIG and diverse and open to new characters.  What started out with a dragon, a princess and her elf consort is now populated with nuns and police captains, heralds and restaurateurs…

…and even secret agents.

Live and Let Fly is a super spy spoof.  No spy spoof is complete without a 007 take-off, so Rakness, Stan Rakness was born.

I started out with extensive research—watching 007 movies and Austin Powers, reading Ian Fleming novels, and keeping track of the clichés.  Torturous!  

A lot of people build their characters extensively before writing—character sheets, deep thought on their motivation and background.  I, however, tend to write seat-of-the-pants and let them tell me all of this.  Thus, I created a secret interdimensional cooperative (The Bureau of Interdimensional Law Enforcement) and populated it with agents from the military and civilian forces…and CIA agent Stan Rakness.

First thing, he let me know that he does not take himself too seriously.  For all the danger and stress, he loves his job and thinks it’s the biggest high in the world.  When he and Vern meet at a high-security meeting to discuss what could be an interdimensional crisis, he and Vern tease each other over who gets the donuts.  He loves taking on the ladies in his alter-egos—sometimes as a chauvinistic jerk, sometimes as the fawning fanboy.

Stan is from Idaho, which (though not mentioned) became pretty important when Vern & Company got in trouble there and needed a place to rest and recover.  His father was a flim-flam man, and when he was a kid, Stan took part in many of his schemes, which is where he learned to love “the game” as well as to take on different personalities.  However, his mother divorced his father when she discovered what they were doing, and he realized they’d been doing wrong as well as breaking the law.  Still, that “bug” never left him, which is why he loves his job.

Stan has some serious moments, and some Bond-style foibles, like a fear of flying.  They make for some fun scenes in the book.  He hopes you’ll check him out—er, check IT out—in Live and Let Fly.