Confession Saves--in More Ways than One!

I came across this scene while cleaning my desk.  Someday, I will have a story for it, but in the meantime, I thought it was appropriate fun for Lent.  Vern is my dragon detective, and Stan Rakness is a secret agent he sometimes works with.  Their first adventure together is Live and Let Fly.  In this adventure, Vern and Rakness have been caught by the villain, who is about to kill Stan.

Rakness: Whoa!  Wait!  I’m not going to die like this!  (turns to Vern)  Vern, hear my Confession!

Vern:  What?  I’m not a priest.

Rakness:  Well, someone’s got to hear it and you’re a better candidate than Villain, here.  I have a lot of sins weighing on me.

Vern:  Why didn’t you go before we left?

Rakness:  I got busy!  Really?  We’re having this conversation now?

Vern:  Grace told you to go before we left!

Villain clears his throat.

Rakness:  Look, I didn’t expect Villain to be so good at this.  It doesn’t matter.  I’m not spending half of eternity in Purgatory.

Vern:  Eternity is infinite.  How do you measure half of infinity?

Rakness:  Bless me, Vern, for I have sinned---

Vern:  I can’t!

Villain:  Gentleman…

Vern:  Who are you calling “man”?

Rakness:  Keep out of this!  It’s been—

Vern:  Hang on.  Villain has a point.  I can’t absolve you.

Rakness: Well, unless Villain has a priest in his employ, you have to.  It’s like…emergency baptism or something!

Vern:  You’re not a dying child, and I’m not a man.

Rakness: The priest stands in the place of Christ—

Vern:  I can’t stand in for Christ.  I’m not even the same species!

Rakness:  I think God’s a little bigger than that, don’t you?  (turns to Villain)  Come on, back me up here…

At this point, the cavalry comes in.

Later, Rakness says:  I can’t believe that worked!

Vern:  Miracles never cease.  Now, go to Confession!

Catholics should go to Confession a minimum of twice a year.  If you're Catholic, take Vern's advice and go to Confession this Lent.  It's good for your soul!

Introducing Stan Rakness by Karina Fabian

I'm taking June off to go to Virginia and Disneyworld with the family before Rob deploys, so I'm rerunning some of writing posts I wrote for other blogs.

The great thing about my DragonEye, PI universe it that it’s BIG and diverse and open to new characters.  What started out with a dragon, a princess and her elf consort is now populated with nuns and police captains, heralds and restaurateurs…

…and even secret agents.

Live and Let Fly is a super spy spoof.  No spy spoof is complete without a 007 take-off, so Rakness, Stan Rakness was born.

I started out with extensive research—watching 007 movies and Austin Powers, reading Ian Fleming novels, and keeping track of the clichés.  Torturous!  

A lot of people build their characters extensively before writing—character sheets, deep thought on their motivation and background.  I, however, tend to write seat-of-the-pants and let them tell me all of this.  Thus, I created a secret interdimensional cooperative (The Bureau of Interdimensional Law Enforcement) and populated it with agents from the military and civilian forces…and CIA agent Stan Rakness.

First thing, he let me know that he does not take himself too seriously.  For all the danger and stress, he loves his job and thinks it’s the biggest high in the world.  When he and Vern meet at a high-security meeting to discuss what could be an interdimensional crisis, he and Vern tease each other over who gets the donuts.  He loves taking on the ladies in his alter-egos—sometimes as a chauvinistic jerk, sometimes as the fawning fanboy.

Stan is from Idaho, which (though not mentioned) became pretty important when Vern & Company got in trouble there and needed a place to rest and recover.  His father was a flim-flam man, and when he was a kid, Stan took part in many of his schemes, which is where he learned to love “the game” as well as to take on different personalities.  However, his mother divorced his father when she discovered what they were doing, and he realized they’d been doing wrong as well as breaking the law.  Still, that “bug” never left him, which is why he loves his job.

Stan has some serious moments, and some Bond-style foibles, like a fear of flying.  They make for some fun scenes in the book.  He hopes you’ll check him out—er, check IT out—in Live and Let Fly.