Mini-Review: Full Asylum by Michael Isenberg

Summary:  The economy has crashed (again), the Nanny State is out of control, and software engineer Gimbel O’Hare just wants to do his job. Not easy, given that his boss is out to get him, the Department of Justice has him under surveillance, and one of his co-workers is suing him for sexual harassment. He finds refuge from the stress by indulging in spy movies, an obsession that leads him on an off-the-wall journey around metro-Washington. From the ruins of a once fashionable mall to a psychiatric ward in a military hospital, Gimbel is on the trail of a dangerous – and possibly imaginary – conspiracy to steal a presidential election and fundamentally transform America.

Mini Review:  Micheal Isenberg is a genius at political satire--not just intelligent, but smart.  He has a great combination of humor--from Abbot and Costello antics to biting wit.  It's an absorbing read with fun characters.   Enjoy the ride as Gilbert goes from a Dilbertesque existence to an adventure worthy of 007 himself.

Purchase on Amazon

Great Weight Write-Off Winner--Sherry Antonetti

This weeks' winner is Sherry Antonetti!  Sherry lost 3.7 pounds this week, after a valiant but unfortunate battle with brownies last week.

Sherry has a book coming out in May, The Book of Helen

"Everyone talks about the Trojan war like they know it, but no one ever bothered to ask me." --Helen of Troy.   

I'm pretty certain I heard her pitch it at the MuseOnline conference.  Sounds like a fun book, especially if you like Greek history and mythology.

Ironically, Sherry's blog is called Chocolate For Your Brain!  A sometimes silly, sometimes reflective blog that works as both a means for me to find out what I'm thinking and preserve in internet amber, some of the more memorable moments of raising these ten children.  Also a soapbox for when the political itch in me needs to be scratched.  Calorie free sweetness all for free, all for you, truth covered with humor because no one wants to eat a bar of pure nougat. 

sherryantonettiwrites.blogspot.com

 Drop by her blog and congratulate her this week--and let her know if you are interested in the book.  I'm sure she'd be glad to e-mail you when it comes out!

BTW, overall, the group lost 5.2 pounds, 1.9 percent body fat, and 3.4 inches.  Several of us have had medical issues, though, from injury and surgery to colds. We're all feeling pretty good about our progress and working together.  If you are having problems keeping on your new health routine, consider joining forces with some friends.

Mind Over Mind: Letter from Deryl

Dear Mom,

I'm 18 today. Legal to vote, legal to go to war--

That is, if I weren't committed in this asylum.

I don't blame Aunt Kate and Uncle Doug. Things were so confusing for so long. There were days I could barely hang onto my own name. There were too many other thoughts, too many personalities that wanted to impress themselves on me. How do you explain that to people without sounding crazy? Who was going to believe that I was psychic?

You would have. You'd have tried to help me. Why did you have to die? You saved my life that day, but for what?

I'm sorry, Mom. That's not fair. You didn't want to die. I'm sorry.

So, anyway. Eighteen today. We had a party. It was dismal. The cake was chocolate because Aunt Kate believes that normal people love chocolate. She's pregnant again--this child will live, I know it. I told her, too, but I don't know if she believed me. Uncle Doug snuck in some liquor, which Dr. Edith promptly confiscated. Still, it was the first time in a long time he's treated me with something other than pity or concern. Guess that means a lot, considering. Oh, and Edith got me something--a new friend. Not a dog or anything, but an intern. Joshua Lawson. He's arrogant, but I don't think he's a jerk. Just very, very sure of himself. Guess I'll be taking him down a peg or two.

I'll tell him the truth about my abilities. He won't believe me, but he'll pretend to--it's part of his psychiatric technique, neuro-linguistic programming. Like I'm a computer. But who knows? Maybe it will work. Heaven knows medication and meditation have done oh-so well. If it does, I'll have to hide it, though; Malachai likes his little guinea pig under his control. Gonna be an interesting summer.

Still, I hope it works. I need to get out of here, one way or another. Even if I skip the country and live my life on a deserted island, at least it will be my life, right? Who needs people, anyway? People are just headaches and confusion.

I don't know why I'm writing this, other than I promised Edith I would. She promised she wouldn't read it, but I'm going to burn it, anyway. Let's face it--psychic powers, "take him down a peg," not to mention the stuff about Malachai. I sound crazy, violent and paranoid. Just like you'd expect a committed teen to act, right?

Anyway, I feel Joshua coming down the hall. Edith actually let him sneak out the booze. I'm not legal drinking age, anymore, but I guess if I can't go to war or vote, right? I'll toast you, Mom. I love you and I miss you. I am grateful that you gave me life. Don't worry; I'll figure out what to do with it.

Love,
Deryl

The Boys Upstairs by Jane Lebak

Synopsis: Jay Farrell, a crippled priest, has begun housing homeless boys in his rectory. Once a street kid himself, he was riding the rocket-train to a lifetime in prison until the day he drove over a land mine in Iraq. Today he works at an inner-city parish, running a soup kitchen and struggling to manage an impoverished church.

With temperatures below zero and falling a few nights before Christmas, Jay's estranged brother Kevin dumps three more children on his front porch. Kevin, a cop who can't believe in God after all the evil he's seen, hasn't spoken to Jay in years, but he knows Jay will at least give the kids a place to stay. It isn't over yet, though. As they work together to meet the children's needs, they must confront the long-buried emotions that have divided them so long.

The Boys Upstairs examines the real gift of the holiday season and how hope can transform the ones society condemns as not worth saving.

Mini Review: I read this aloud to my 10-year-old son, and he really enjoyed it. I must say that I had a hard time at some points keeping my voice clear because the scenes choked me up. Despite the title, this is really a story about two brothers finding each other again. I would have liked more about the children--perhaps Jane will consider a second novella? I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a heartwarming story no matter what time of year.

Purchase Link: Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/The-Boys-Upstairs-ebook/dp/B004EYT9NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297290893&sr=8-1

On Doors and Relationships

We all know that reality does not match fiction. But sometimes, fiction can mimic reality.

I had one of those moments this week with Neeta Lyffe. You ever had a relationship that fell apart over the stupid things that were clues to the underlying problem? That's what happens with Neeta. Her relationship with her hot, sweet boyfriend is going sour. Brian is cute and thoughtful and girls sigh over him, but Neeta finds him clingy and is annoyed at how he wants to rescue her. She really wants a guy like Ted--funny, oblivious, who is neither in awe of her warrior-exterminator ways nor feels like she secretly needs emotional support to cope with the supposed angst of ridding the world of undead scum.

She's not recognizing that on a conscious level, however. So, the relationship falls apart over little things, like a door.

Neeta's front door sticks. Brian wants to surprise her by replacing it. She compromises by letting him have the old door painted and planed so that it closes more smoothly. But it upsets her that it doesn't stick. She mentions the door to Ted, who immediately says he liked how it stuck. Later, he gives her a door limiter, which he "acquired" at a wild party.

"You stole a door limiter."

"What a hoot, huh? I mean, everyone was grabbing souvenirs. Had to act fast, or I'd have gotten a splinter or something lame. Roscoe said this happens every time they hold a hotel party. Their manager pays for the damage ahead of time."

She glanced from him to the door lock--door limiter, she told herself. Then she grabbed her latte from him and took a large swallow. Caffeine. She needed caffeine to keep up with this conversation. When she thought she felt a kick, she started again.

"And why are you giving this to me?"

They walked up the two steps to the building and Ted pulled open the door. A blast of air conditioning caressed his hair as he went in, Neeta following.

"I'm not the knick-knack type."

"So?"

"Well, I sobered up, and I realized I can't use this thing. I'm in an apartment where I can't even put a nail in the wall. I should have gone for the safety procedures sign--I could have had them autograph it and stuck it up with poster tape. Live and learn."

"But why are you giving this to me?"

He shrugged. "You own a door."

Pandarus' Valentine's Day Massacre

Pandarus' Valentine's Day Massacre
By Karina L. Fabian
For the Los Lagos Gazette


Los Lagos, CO--Thoughts of romance turned to terror Saturday as what shoppers thought was a store display cupid came to life and started shooting at the mall patrons. Pandarus, a Faerie cupid, was subdued by mall security personnel and has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon, resisting arrest, disturbing the peace, and distribution of a magically psychoactive substance.

Pandarus had apparently been hanging around the display window of Victoria's Secret at the Los Lagos Mall, unnoticed by the staff or patrons eager to shop for an extra surprise for their holiday celebrations. "I thought he was just part of the One Hour-My Spicy Valentine sale display," said assistant manager Dana Kline, as she rubbed her arm where one of the heart-shaped arrowheads struck her and leaned against her husband Jed Kline, an employee of Pretzelmakers across the hall.

At 6:45, as the store swelled with anxious shoppers flipping through lacy underthings and squabbling over the last Size 14 babydoll nightie, Pandarus is said to have positioned his bow, shouted, "Let Love In!" and pelted patrons with arrows.

The screams and subsequent stampede alerted Roy Alberts, mall guard and his partner Katie Robbins. They subdued Pandarus after a brief altercation.

"Roy caught him. He was so brave!" Robbins said, with a heavy sigh. Alberts, blushing, insisted he could not have snagged the cupid by his ankles if Robbins hadn't distracted the archer at just the right moment.

"And she took a shot. For me! We're such a great team," he said.

Although at least ten patrons--including Robbins and Alberts--claimed to have been hit by cupid's arrows, none needed medical attention, and in fact refused medical care in order to return home to their spouses, or left with another patron, lacy underthings forgotten.

"I have done a good thing here!" Pandarus is said to have shouted as he was carried off. "You will thank me! I have brought you a happy Valentine's Day!"

Pandarus was on his way back to Faerie Greece after a being filming a commercial for the Venus and Eros online dating service. He is being held without bail.

***

POLICE BLOTTER: Jed Kline, 25, and Dana Kline, 24, were arrested and charged with indecent exposure at Victoria's Secret changing room. Mrs. Kline was found under the influence of a cupid's arrow and declared not guilty, but Mr. Kline, who was not struck, was fined $150 dollars.

ENGAGEMENTS:
Robbins and Alberts: Katheryn (Katie) Marie Robbins and Roy Manuel Alberts announce their engagement and summer 2010 wedding plans. Robins is the daughter of Rae and George Robbins of Raleigh, NC.

Book sale at Twilight Times!

If you've been wanting to get Infinite Space, Infinite God, now is the time!

This year is the 10th anniversary of the founding of Twilight Times Books (1999) and
the 5th year since we went to print (2004). Those are significant milestones.

In celebration, Twilight Times Books will have a print book sale from Oct. 1st to
Nov. 15th. Most titles will be offered to the general public at a 10 - 30% discount.
http://twilighttimesbooks.com/print_books101509sale.html

For a limited time, and while quantities last, we are offering a 30% - 50% discount
on selected titles.
http://twilighttimesbooks.com/print_books101509special.html

Check out our newsletter for info on our latest releases.
http://twilighttimesbooks.com/ttb_nl19.html

Lida E. Quillen, Publisher
Twilight Times Books
http://twilighttimesbooks.com

My Novel's Journey: "Second" Edit Done

This week, I finished reading Live and Let Fly to the kids. That ends what I usually call my "second edit." We had a 2-hour marathon read toward the end; I was anxious to be done, and the kids were anxious to get to the "Loki chunks" line. Like "Run Away!" from Monty Python's Holy Grail, I think that's one phrase that will be heard in our family for a long time.

My oldest son has a new saying, "That never gets old." He sometimes repeats a punch line or gag to himself, then chuckles, "That never gets old." Usually, it's about something slapstick or puerile, but funny nonetheless. He's now quoting Live and Let Fly. How could I not agree with him?

One thing I discovered this time is that I'm using phrases and in-jokes that are at a more mature level than I'd expected. Many times I had to stop to define a word, explain a situation or joke, or remind them of how something earlier in the book applied to the current situation. I enjoyed it--and I found it encouraged my younger boys to ask me about words they didn't understand in other situations as well. (Liam has asked me several times in Church to define a word from the Scripture reading.) We still read to the younger two at night, but usually the stories they want to hear, so I enjoyed expanding their horizons with my story.

I did find the epilogue needed a restructure, but it was a simple enough change. Now I wait for the critiquers.

Fave Phrase: Here's one of Steven's "never gets old" and has Monty Python elements, too.

Sister Michaela Joan hopped onto my back, strapped and bucked herself on and declared herself ready to rope an errant demigod.

The command crew gathered outside to watch us.

The lieutenant said, "You know, when we got called to duty yesterday, I never expected to see something like this."

I reared up dramatically and Sister Michaela Joan, an experienced rider, held her balance.

I said, "No one expects--"

"The Spanish Inquisition!" my caballera nun finished with me.

I flapped my wings, applied my magic, and we flew off amid applause and calls of "Oorah!"

"Someday, you must tell me why that is so funny," Sister Michaela said to me as we gained altitude.

My Novel's Journey: Musical Minions

I'm in the read-aloud edit right now, which is slow since I'm reading it as a bedtime story to the boys. (Steven, 15, has joined his little brothers and Amber occasionally joins in.)

Tuesday night, we came to one of my favorite scenes, when a badly outnumbered Vern evens the odds by picking off minions in a variety of unusual and comical ways. We'd made it through the laughs and were gearing up for the big crisis when Alex noted, "Mom, you've got too many minions."

He was right--this was a fast-writing scene with nine minions to start, and I'd lost track of who Vern had picked off when. I even had two minions still going after Vern after they'd left the room! Oops.

Lessons here:
1. Read your stuff out loud, to someone else if you can. You catch so much!
2. Sometimes drawing out a scene graphically works better than trying to make a list or keep track in your head.

So Wednesday, I sat down with a pen and paper, made a list of McThing's McMinions and drew a map of the evil overlord lair.



Then, as I re-read the scene slowly, I made notes of who moved where, who left, who replaced whom, all on the drawing.



When I finished, I realized I'd still written about twice as many minions as Vern really had to deal with. Guess he was seeing double. It also made for an interesting conundrum. Vern can take three guys, even in his weakened state. Why didn't he? Fortunately, I had a ready-made excuse: Heather, who refused to be much more than a damsel in distress. Vern and Charlie could never count on when she'd show her plucky side.

So, it's taken some re-writing, but that's what the editing process is all about--finding the mistakes before the editor--or worse, the reader.


Editing progress: Through page 86, but loving hearing my kids laugh. Lots of boy humor. Of course, my husband just about spit out his Diet Coke when he heard me describe the Top Secret briefing room. After years of working in that world, we both know how true it is.

The 37 Plots: Which One's Yours?

I came across this article ages ago, and sadly, have lost the source, but I thought it was interesting and wanted to share it with you:

What's your story about? A scholar in the early 1800's (Georges Polti apparently)
identified 36 basic plots, to which later scholars added one. The 37 are:

1. Pleading/prayer story
2. Deliverance
3. Crime pursued by vengeance
4. Vengeance
5. Pursuit story
6. Revolt (as in a tyrant versus good guys)
7. Disaster story
8. Falling prey to cruelty/misfortune
9. Daring enterprise
10. Abduction story
11. A puzzle story
12. A story about getting something
13. A story about hating someone you should like
14. Rivalry between friends or family
15. Murderous lovers/friends
16. Betrayal of love or friendship
17. Story about madness
18. Dangerous carelessness
19. Involuntary crimes of love or friendship
20. Stories about hurting someone who turned out to be important to you
21. Self sacrifice for an ideal
22. Self sacrifice for a person
23. Self sacrifice for a stranger
24. Self sacrifice for a loved object
25. Rivalry with a superior person
26. Crimes of love or friendship
27. Discovery of a crime done by a friend/lover
28. Obstacles of love or friendship
29. Sharing love/friendship with an enemy
30. Stories about ambition
31. Conflict with a God or mythical creature
32. A story about jealousy
33. A wrong decision
34. Regret or guilt
35. Recovery of a lost one
36. Loss of a person
37. Argument

I find it interesting that these are missing:

38. Crime followed by justice
39. Returning to faith
40. Discovering inner strength

I think I write more along those lines.

Organizing the plot

Today, we begin with organizing the plot.

Normally, I'm a seat-of-the-pants writer. I have a good idea of t he beginning and the end and some ideas for getting from one to the other; but otherwise, I let my characters lead me. I have a lot of fun and a lot of surprised this way. However, it doesn't work as well for a novel-length thriller/mystery. Despite the jokes and fantasy setting, that's what I'm trying to do, and I didn't want someone to come back disappointed that I'd dropped a clue or left something hanging.

I have a terrific program, Anthemion Storylines. It simulates index cards on a cork board--great for organizing, making notes, storing ideas until I can use them... I've written entire stories off of it, and use it to keep track of my Magic, Mensa and Mayhem serial. Great program--but it failed me this time. For some reason, my head needed a new method to identify holes, figure out links, etc.

Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff, who writes amazing stuff, told us during a workshop chat at the Catholic Writers Conference Online that when she is stuck, she uses Post-It Notes on a white board. So, I spent a couple of hours writing out blue stickies, re-arranging, consulting my husband, and thinking. And it worked! Something about the tactile process loosened my brain--or maybe it was because I felt very silly--the eccentric writer. I can get into that.


(Note--this is a recreation. I can't find the actual photo, but when I do, I'll replace it.)

Word Count: 11,500. About 2000 behind my goal, but we meetings and yard work took priority.

Fave Scene:

Setup: Vern, Grace and some agents are discussing how demigods get their power. (The old cliché that they feed off worship, human sacrifice, etc...) I found a reference that the cult of Adonis consisted of planting fast-growing plants, then mourning when they wilt. (Yep! How do I resist that?) I'd also just finished scrubbing out my son's dead Chia pet. Here's what that gave me:

(Vern said) "...Different demigods have different preferences, however. Sekhmet, death; Coyote, practical jokes and general mischief--"
"Adonis?" Rak asked with a cocked eyebrow.
Grace cocked her brow in return. "Crying over dead plants, actually. He has a special fondness for women with black thumbs, but he's not powerful enough for a portal. He's really a very sweet soul. Plus, other than finding Chia pets™ amusing, he's not especially interested in the Mundane world."

Firestorm of Dragons Book Trailer!

You'll no doubt recognize Vern of DragonEye, PI. His first story is in the anthology.

Learn more at www.firestormofdragons.com

Purchase at Amazon.com.