You know, you don't see a lot of door-to-door evangelists lately. I think I know why. They must have run up against people like my husband.
When my husband was agnostic, he had a lot of fun with evangelists who came to his door.
His dog tags said "Druid" and he would ague that Druids were favored by God. After all, how many Druids died in WWII? None! (No practicing Druids were in WWII that he knew of, but that's beside the point, of course...) After other similarly true but statistically insignificant examples, he showed them his potted plant and said he worshipped at the plant and they were welcome to join him. They left quickly and warned all his neighbors.
He also used his dog tags during military survival training. While a "prisoner" in the mock-POW camp, he tried to demand his Geneva convention rights to worship: "Just give me a stone knife and some blue face paint and leave me alone in the woods for a couple of hours. Come on! I'll come back when I'm done. Really, I will. I'll even forgo the virgin." Somehow, the trainers didn't buy it.
They did, however, buy his secret communications routine. Before the training, he and a friend found Tolkein's Elvish dictionary and learned a few phrases. Completely baffled the trainers. They even brought in linguists to try to figure out what they were saying.
Is it any wonder I fell in love with this man?
Ironically, I "converted" him with just seven words: "Want to come with me to Mass?" He came for the love of me and stayed for the love of God.
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