My Novel's Journey: Speed Bumps 2

I managed 850 words on Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator this week. They've come up against a zombie in the park--but wait! It's just a geeky fanboy. Neeta is not pleased. This weekend, if I get time, she's going to show him just how displeased she is.

Part of my slowdown is that the location wasn't working, but I think I got that worked around. Roscoe, my sensitive, high maintenance character, doesn't want to go in the thick underbrush, and after some consideration, Neeta decided it looked like a nice place to get ambushed. So they gas the area. Writing moral for the week: If you come across a snag in your story, it helps sometimes to just write anyway and see if your characters can figure it out for you.

Anyway, the rest of the week has been spent with sick kids, putting in the suggestions for Why God Matters and going through the final edits on Infinite Space, Infinite God II. Yay! I was starting to sweat getting that in time for the projected launch date. I still think it will be later in April, which is a bummer, because it messes up my chance for a launch party at Godspace. Maybe I can do it in late May or early June.

I also managed to get my DragonEye, PI newsletter done. Someone reminded me the March issue hadn't come out yet. You can read it at http://www.myebook.com/ebook_viewer.php?ebookId=31006 or if you're registered on my website, you can download it in PDF. This time, Grace talks about meeting Vern for the first time. He didn't make a good first impression.

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator: Format Fun

The fun thing about writing a parody of television is that you can play with the different formats the entertainment industry employs. Woven in with "living" scenes of Neeta's experience, I have blogs from her trainees, forums from the fans, even snippets from the radio. Today, however, I'm talking about documentaries.

Advantages: The documentary "The Zombie Syndrome" by Gary Opkast (writer for the reality TV show Zombie Death Extreme) has been a great way to weave in background information without the character Q&A. By scripting video clips with narration and interviews, I'm able to tell the reader about my world without telling them about my world.

Disadvantages: I'm going to need to brush up on my scriptwriting format, then decide how much to adapt it to narrative so I don't lose my reader. Also, I'm not always interested in the actual script as much as a portion--like my interview with Dr. Hansen. I've also got the challenge of making the visuals interesting enough while staying true to the minimalist format.

Here's a little from The Zombie Syndrome, which Gary is writing in the book:

Footage from movie of human ducking the swinging arms of a zombie.

NARRATOR: and the idea that they are slow to react? You can't count on it, as Darwin Award Winner Henry Stephens demonstrated.

ROY STAPLES, DARWIN AWARDS CHAIRMAN in his office. Pan room of different news articles of people dying stupid deaths, focus on "Man, 19, loses game of zombie tag; returns on the other side." As STAPLES speaks, segue over to video footage of 2019 AFEHV Winner.

STAPLES: Stephens and a couple of his frat brothers got drunk and decided it would make a great entry for America's Funniest Exteme Home Videos, the Danger Edition if they filmed a couple of them playing tag with zombies. After eating a garlic-and-anchovie pizza, they donned necklaces made from used sweatsocks they stole from the university football team and headed to the local cemetery, danced on a few graves, and managed to wake the dead in true FRAT fashion.

Stephens' partner in the game, Ed Grisson, developed stomach cramps and bowed out, saving his life. Shortly thereafter, Stephens tagged a zombie on the shoulder and dashed away--but not fast enough. The zombie, former quarterback for COLLEGE, tackled him and bit his neck through the sweatsocks. Stephens lost the game of tag, but he did win the 2019 Darwin Awards for using his stupidity to remove himself from the gene pool.

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator: Format Fun

One fun part of writing a novel is experimenting. In Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, I've had a lot of fun playing with formats aside from the standard narrative. Today, I'm going to cover the radio show.

Neeta and the Zombie Death Extreme contestants get interviewed on K-RTH, one of Los Angeles' radio stations, and the DJ will become Neeta's love interest for the book. I thought it'd be fun to actually have the show playing rather than always experience it in narrative from Neeta's point of view.

Advantages: Once again, it's shorter, and I don't need to worry about peripheral information like where people are sitting, what the station looks like, etc. Since I'm trying to keep this fast moving and funny, that helps keep my pace.

Disadvantages: Radio is about voices, so I have to make sure my cues for who is talking, when someone is joking vs. being serious, etc. are all done without visual cues, but I don't want to make it sound like a script. Also, radio employs a lot of sound clips--bits of music, taped sound bites, etc. that I need to weave in without confusing the reader.

This is from Brian and Cassie in the morning interviewing Neeta. Brian is more the straight man; Cassie is happy-go-lucky. See if you can tell them apart, and tell who Neeta is as well.

"That's great! We have just a minute before weather and traffic, and we'll get you that website. First, though... I don't want to be a downer, but I've got to ask you. You've had a lousy run of luck lately, Neeta: your mother died, you got sued, now this thing with Jorgenson--"

"--oh, yeah, poor Jorgie! He was such a hottie, too--"

"--so why do you do it? What makes you want to keep fighting zombies day after day."
"... I... Well, someone has to do it. People will die otherwise. Die and come back. I know what I'm doing, and frankly, I'm good at it. I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't do what I could."

"Wow. That's so... wow."

"Yeah. You're amazing, Neeta. I mean that. I'm glad you're out there protecting us.
"We'll be back to talk more with Neeta and her trainees after our K-Earth's own Roger Tellerman gives us the low-down on the low front coming our way. Roger, give us some cool news."

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator: Format Fun

For Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, I'm playing with different venues for imparting information. Since the whole thing revolves around a reality TV show, I'm mimicking real life reality TV (Is that redundant?) by including some of the things they have--from candid interviews to commercials. Today, I'm going to share with you my experience writing a forum.

I used the forum format in order to foster a discussion about Neeta's financial problem and how it's affecting others' views of her and the show. I chose this way because I didn't have to give a lot of explanation, I could bring in a few opinions without introducing more main characters, and I could foreshadow a swell of support that will help her solve her problem in the end.

Advantages: It's fast and pithy, gives me the ability to bring in many sides to an argument, introduce some tangents in a place where readers expect tangents, and gives me a chance to parody current society.

Disadvantages: It's tough to format. I may have to work with the publisher on actually making it look like a forum, though I think that would be fun. Also, I didn't want to list all the entries, so had to create the equivalent of "..." Coming up with usernames was actually hard, too. However, I put out a call on Facebook and got all kinds of great ideas.

Here's a little bit of the forum dialogue:

BrainDeadHead:
500,000 dollars?! He sued her for FIVE-FREAKING-HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS?!?!?!?!?! For a little yardwork, a retractable awning and some paint?!

LOL on the GPC Redundancy, by the way. Government never should have bought out that computer company. Did you know the guy used the profits to make his own orbiting hotel? I want a reality TV show on that!

Trolll:
Its not just the damage, stupid. He was having a party for his cliants. She tramatized them and now he's loosing business. Its obvious none of you have any idea how the real world works, so go bak to waching your stupid tv.

I wuldn't feel to sorry for Neeta, either. Shes probably raking in the dow on this show. Wonder if she gets jorgies cut?

Spla77r64:
Sorry, got to chime in with Trolll here. I caught parts of the trial on TV. He did show that he lost a significant number of clients after the incident. Loss of clients=loss of income. I know she was doing her job the best she could, but she should have had more help, contained them faster, something. It was a botched job.

MANIC_MIND:
Seems to me he's losing clients (not loosing, btw) because they're questioning the judgment of a man who would serve pickled beets and blue cheese dressing at an outdoor party on a hot summer's day when he lives so close to a cemetery. Not to mention the fact that he actually thought his electric fence would keep them out. Frankly, he's lucky they hadn't invaded his home earlier, like at night when his family was sleeping. Besides, don't you think the zombie invasion was traumatizing enough? It would certainly turn me away!

Spla77r, it's easy to armchair-quarterback. If you followed the trial, you'd know she was the first to answer the 9-1-1 call, which didn't come until after they crossed his fence, even though people saw them approaching beforehand. By the time support arrived, she had taken them on, single-handedly.
Like someone said, hard core.

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator: Format Fun

Normally, I tend to write in the 100,000-word range, but I want Neeta Lyffe to be shorter and punchier, so I'm playing with ways to impart information that are quick and fun. Since I'm parodying reality TV, I'm adding in a lot of different communication tools: video blogs, documentaries, and forums. Over the next couple of entries, I'll share what I've learned about each. Today, we'll start with video blogs.

Like a diary entry, a video blog can give quick insights into someone's thoughts. However, since the characters are blogging for reality TV, they can also snipe, complain and backstab at a distance without having to deal with the immediate reactions of others.

Advantages: I can focus on the person without worrying about the group.

Disadvantages: Introducing that this is a video blog gets monotonous. There are only so many ways to say it.

Here's a clip from Roscoe, one of the contestants on Zombie Death Extreme:

Back in his trailer, Roscoe leaned back in his computer chair and turned on the webcam. After checking his hair in the image projected on his screen and mashing his lips to give them more color, he set it to record. "Okay, so LaCenta said it first, and she was a totally out of line for saying it when she did, but honestly..."

He leaned in close, sharing a secret. "...we were all thinking it."

He checked the file, saved it and uploaded it to his Zombie Death Extreme blog.

"And then there were five!" He wove his fingers together and moved into a yoga stretch.

Oh, gawd, was there any high better than surviving another episode?

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator: Origins

Since my computer snafu and subsequent loss of Gapman and Discovery, I decided to forge ahead with a novel I started on New Year's Day: Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

I have to credit this novel with The Writers' Chat Room, www.writerschatroom.com. A bunch of writers of all experience levels, genres and interests meet in the chat room on Wednesday evenings to talk writing, answer questions, share news, victories and rejections, and get silly. Get very silly very often.

During one of these silly episodes, we somehow got the topic of zombies and cookbooks merged. On that day, publisher Kim Richards came up with the idea of an anthology The Zombie Cookbook. She asked us to contribute stories and I came up with "Wokking Dead," where zombie exterminator Neeta Lyffe deals with a zombie invasion of a Korean restaurant. It was silly fun, full of jokes and political satire and something I figured I'd never revisit again.

Then in a chat in December, Kim mentioned that someone asked her if they'd ever see a novel with Neeta Lyffe. In that chat we also started talking about reality TV, and someone shared what he thought was the greatest first line of a novel he'd read: They ate Jorgenson first. Those two ideas got my imagination going, and on the drive to whale watching on New Year's Day, I decided to play with the idea of Neeta training up new exterminators in a reality TV show in 2037.

It's turned out to be such fun, and Kim did ask, so I'm setting aside the others to finish this one. I'm averaging 1000 words a day, 4-5 days a week, so if I can keep the momentum, I'll finish in March. Then I'll try to rediscover Discovery and begin anew with Gapman.

So join me in my novel's journey with Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

Here're a few lines from the opening scene:

They ate Jorgenson.

Dammit! Neeta thought. I was still training him.

The zombies were gnawing on his leg, his fine, tanned leg, while he screamed and blubbered and somehow still managed to make his surfer-blond hair flow effortlessly.

Not that anyone noticed. The zombies, contained unfed for the past week in the abandoned brewery, had more interest in his meat than his pelt. There were only eight, but was too many for a bunch of unwashed trainees, particularly with the idiot film crew hounding them and getting in the way. Around her, seven panicky apprentices screamed and flailed with their tools, forgetting everything she'd taught them over the past six weeks, while through their headpieces Dave shouted directions that had more to do with good drama than good tactics. One cameraman continued to film while another had abandoned his camera and had fallen to his knees vomiting.

Grunting, screaming, someone calling for her mother...

Wait, that was Neeta. And she wasn't calling; she was apologizing. She just knew Mom was spinning in her grave.

My Novel's Journey: Gapman! Seeking Supervilian Plot

I'm working a novel again. This one is Gapman, a super-hero spoof. Once again, I'm flying seat-of-the-pants, with some rough ideas and a whole lot of fun scenes to drive the way.

This time, I'm still in search of the perfect Supervillian plot. I know it needs to involve the designer drug called Puck. I have one idea: get the elves high on Puck so they'll agree to sign life insurance policies and make the villain a fortune in commissions. However, exactly how he plans on doing that, I'm not sure yet. And the more I think logically about it, the more holes I see. So if anyone has ideas, I'm glad to listen. I discarded the politician trying to get the elves high to sign a treaty with the US (mainly because they were taking so long.)

Friday, I thought about bringing the plot closer to home: a more personal attack on Vern and Grace, and Gapman will get to help them out. It would also have a very nice foreshadowing into the next book I want to write, Damsels and Knights, which is a spin-off trilogy involving Los Lagos Police Captain Santry and a griffin-turned human, Veronica Bates. I'm wondering if it's too heavy for the spoofing, though.
In the meantime, I'm having a great time developing the Gapman character, Ronnie Engleson. He's a real sweetie, but, as my friend Devon Ellington put it "reverts to being 11 at the slightest provocation." He lives with his mom so that they can afford a nice house up in the mountains, bikes and runs (though he has a bit of a pudge), and works as the entertainment reporter for the Los Lagos Gazette. Of course, getting superpowers was a childhood dream, so he's determined to use them for good--yet in his zeal, he's causing a lot of problems, too.

I'm playing with alternating between him and Vern--first, with them living their own lives and dealing with their own problems, then working together as Vern takes him as his Padawan (at Grace's behest.)

Here's a brief introduction to Ronnie.

My name is Ronald Engleson. I prefer to be called Ron, but people have called me Ronnie since Kindergarten. Mom's always called me Ronnie, of course, but that's her prerogative. I had a brief time in college when I was Ron, but that ended when I returned to Los Lagos and started working for the Gazzette. Guess that's the problem when your mom used to date the editor-in-chief; Richard Redfeathers still thinks I'm ten years old.

Otherwise, I like the job. I've done a little of everything. Started in the Classified, but now I'm the entertainment writer. You know, movie reviews, features on the local thespians. Bet you anything, my articles get stuck into scrapbooks more than any other writer's on the paper. Yet even though my byline reads "Ron Engleson," people still call me "Ronnie." I try not to let it bother me.

Word count: 5,719

Join me in writing Gapman! and editing Discovery

Welcome back to Fabianspace

As many folks know, I gave up blogging for awhile. I wasn't enjoying it and it wasn't drawing people to my site or writing, so I decided to play with Twitter and forget about the blogsphere.

Not sure why, but this month, I decided, "I'd like to try blogging again." One thing enjoyed in my blogging time was chronicling my adventures writing Live and Let Fly. I found it also motivated me to write, as I needed something to blog about. So I'm going to start again with regular writing and editing adventures. Hopefully, I can teach something as well.

I have two projects going right now:

Gapman! is my super-spy spoof in the DragonEye, PI universe. I've already got several scenes worked out, which are spit-out-your-soda funny. Los Lagos, Colorado, home of the Interdimensional Gap and the sleuthing duo of dragon Vern and Sister Grace, gets its first real superhero. Here's a teaser I made up for fun:


I'll be sharing the adventures of my seat-of-the-pants writing.

Discovery is the Catholic science fiction story I started as a 2006 (2007?) NaNoWriMo project. I'd put it away for a long time, but it kept calling to me, so this year, I made myself finish it. I fought tooth and nail, lead and byte for this one. It changed quite a bit mid-stream (for the waaaay better), so it is in need of a serious re-write and edit. I have a publisher in mind for it, and he's interested in seeing it, so I want it to sing! Join me as I conduct major surgery on a hard-won novel.

Discovery is my priority, since I'm still trying to sell Live and Let Fly, and Gapman comes after that, so I'm posting about it every Thursday. Gapman will be every-other Monday, and I'll intersperse news and other fun stuff in the opposite Mondays. So please, come on back, make comments and let me know if I'm interesting you at all.