Monday, January 03, 2011

Twilight of the Living Dead

I was on one of my yahoo groups and someone wondered why no one had come up with the perfect marketable mash-up: Vampire romance with zombies. He just had to say that. Here, for your enjoyment, are snippets from "Twilight of the Living Dead":

Beautifica couldn't believe her mom was sending her to Seattle to live with her dad. Was it her fault she died and came back? Her mom kept saying, "They're more open-minded about the 'differently living' there," but she knew better. Still, she tried to act like she didn't resent it. She even wore her favorite shirt on the plane to honor her mother. Fat lot of good that did; Mom kept complaining about he she'd buried her in that shirt...

"So!" Beautifica's dad cleared his throat and tried again. "So, I figure you'll want some independence, so I bought you a car." He handed her the keys.
Beautifica stumped over to the garage, sure she would be disappointed, and opened the door.
It was a hearse. Her dad was so lame....

"Who's that guy?" One of Beautifica's best friends whom she'd met that morning jerked her head toward the other side of the cafeteria, where a disgustingly hot guy was trying to accidentally sit in the sunlight while looking like he was avoiding the windows. He caught her looking and glared. She felt an instant attraction she immediately killed.
Her other new BFF snickered. "The sparkly one? That's Drac Lugosi. They say he's plasmatically inclined, if you know what I mean." the two giggled.
Beautifica sighed. She didn't have any plasma to incline him. Good thing he looks like a jerk. Probably didn't have any brains to speak of, not that she was into brains. She threw a sneer his way and saw him return it. Immediately, that spark of attraction returned.
Great. Were her feelings zombiefied, too?...

In the classic scene, Drac takes Beautifica up a tree. Little does he know that he'd bumped her hand against a branch, and she lost a finger. The date ends badly. They break up and she mopes for a few chapters until the undead haters group goes after her with torches and Drac and his faithful, friend...,Lupo, save the day.

Later, he'll confess that he's hemoglobin-intolerant, and they'll realize it's true love.

OK. now perhaps I can return to my regularly scheduled life! :)

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