Wednesday, January 16, 2013

No Pain, No Gain

Monday Jan 14 marked Day One in my new commitment to fitness.  Truth of the matter is, I've been a pudding bag for many years now, and it just gets worse each year. so, since liposuction is too scary (and would only postpone the inevitable if I don't change my habits), I've decided it's time to work out.

Yeah.  Not happening.  I can't even stand getting my blood drawn.
There's a little gym near my house called BioFit Boot Camp.  I appeals, ironically, because I'm basically lazy: it's close to home, has a class I can get to right after dropping off the kids from school, and there will be a trainer (aka drill sergeant) to keep me going.

Monday, I donned my workhout gear, a Christmas present, perhaps in a cosmic apology for all the sweets that tempted me all season and still cling to my hips today.  I got there early and ended up the only person in class, gaining me a personal session from the owner on my first day.

This is Ryion (from his FB page).  He's very sweet and upbeat, two good qualities when torturing people for their health.
We started easy with crunches and squats, then Ryion introduced me to The Ladder.  The Ladder is analogous to the stairmaster, with the purely evil twist of speeding up as you get higher on the rungs.  thus, the more progress you make, the harder it is to progress.  Kind of an analogy to my life, really.

I will be putting this in a book someday.  The villainous overlord will suspend this over a pool of piranha, and if the victim stops, she will fall in...but he will require her to wear the safety harness.
 a minute on The Ladder.  A minute of squats.  A minute on The Ladder.  a minute of extensions...After awhile, the only way to keep going was to chant, "I will not be a pudding bag." in time to the music as I forced my feet onward.   (Next time, I might try imagining the piranha.)

If I faltered, Ryion called out encouragement. When we were done, he congratulated me.  "You did well!  You made it through the whole class, and you didn't throw up!  Come back tomorrow.  I don't care how sore you are."

I signed up, yes, paying Ryion for the privilege of making me sweaty and achy for the next month.  I came home to blog about my experience.  When I saw the stairs to the basement, my legs wept.

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