Thursday, January 17, 2013

My editing Journey: Mind Over Psyche off again!

This yer, the second book will come out!  Yay!  I'm hoping we get the same cover artist.  Isn't he awesome?
Woo-hoo!  Mind Over Psyche, the second novel in the Mind Over trilogy is back to DragonMoon with much rewriting. For those that don't know the story:  Deryl Stephens is an 18-year old psychic who had no control over his powers and went insane.  After five years, he has some control but no hope of living outside the asylum where he's been a patient for five years.  Enter Joshua Lawson, a 19-year-old intern hired by one of Deryl's caregivers to befriend him and help him see he has a life outside the asylum walls.  Joshua, however, doesn't want to be a buddy, and he used Neuro Linguitic Programming to help Deryl cope with his so-called telepathic abilities. NLP works!  Deryl not only learns to block out others, but he discovers on voice--Tasmae--is in fact an alien who seeks his help to protect her world from invaders. 

In Mind Over Psyche:  When the chief psychiatrist decides to make a study of Deryl's abilities--and a guinea pig out of Deryl, Deryl escapes to her planet, accidentally taking Joshua in tow.  There, they find Tasmae haunted by the psyche of her ancient predecessor--someone who had also touched Deryl's mind...and been driven mad because of it.  Deryl and Joshua must help Tasmae solve the riddles of Gardianju's memories, return Tasmae to sanity, and get Joshua home.

For those who know the book:  You thought I had fun with Deryl going insane--wit 'till you see Tasmae.  She is scary!  O course, the Master returns with a new trap for Deryl.  Deryl gets a chance or two at romance, and Joshua gets to meet the oddest unicorns ever, develop some healing powers, and get scared out of his wits a time or two.  This book has enough novelty and excitement to stand on its own, but it's even better if you've read Mind Over Mind.

Here are some of the grammatical and writing items I improved:

--cut passive voice and progressives (was ---ing)
--took out stage directions:  He turned and...  She looked and...
--cut one scene I liked, but was peripheral to the flow of the scene
--cut down a couple of scenes to increase pace
--built a few scenes (usually only a sentence or two) to improve character or tension
--changed some details to better bridge the gap between Mind Over Mind and the next book, Mind Over All.

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