Thursday, May 17, 2012

Need your opinion: Which Blurb Makes You Most Want to Read Neeta Lyffe 2

One of the important things writers learn quickly is that it's not just about the manuscript.

Last Wednesday (after pre-loading a blog about the rotten week I'd had), I got the excellent news that Neeta Lyffe 2: I Left My Brains in San Francisco was accepted by Damnation Books. YAY!  *snoopydance*
I can't believe I found this. 
Well, that wonderful news took two days out of my Gapman writing, as I filled out forms for the cover artist, wrote the dedication and acknowledgements (with a few tears, since this is the last book my friend Walt Staples ever critted for me), cut excerpts down to size and wrote the back-cover blurbs.

Now, I seek your help.  I've got six blurbs from what I hope are four different angles.  I asked some trusted authors to narrow it down to three, and pass these on to you, dear readers for evaluation.

Please vote on the one that would most make you read the book.  I'll do a drawing from the comments and send the winner a copy of Neeta 2 when it's out in September.  To win, you must leave me a way to contact you--even a website with a contact page. (Last contest I did, several "winners" lost out because I had no way to find them.)

To make it more fun, you get one chance for your vote, one chance for your comment about why you'd chose it, and one chance for any critique you offer on your choice.

1. Zombie problem? Call Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

But not this weekend. She’s on vacation to an exterminator’s convention with her partner and boyfriend Ted, looking to relax, have fun, and have a little romance. Too bad the zombies at the Give Back Underwater Memorial Gardens and Fish Preserve have a different idea. When they rise from watery graves to take over the City by the Bay, it looks like a working vacation after all.

2. Zombie problem? Call Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator...but not this weekend.

On vacation at an exterminator’s convention, she's looking to relax, have fun, and enjoy a little romance. Too bad the zombies have a different idea. When they rise from their watery graves to take over the City by the Bay, it looks like it'll be a working vacation after all.

Enjoy the thrill of re-kill with Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

3. 2047. Zombies are pests, fuel is made from feces, and the rich and famous pay to become fish food.

Zombie exterminators, Neeta Lyffe and Ted Hacker, travel to San Francisco for a zombie convention, a little sightseeing and some romance. But when the fish-food celebrities rise from their watery graves to attack San Francisco, their “working vacation” takes on new meaning.

It’s chainsaws, undead, and romance in this second novel by satirist Karina Fabian.

**Manure-based fuels are important to the plot, but based on feedback, I'm wondering if this helps overcome the repulsive gross factor.

4.  2047. Zombies are pests, cars will soon run on crap, and the rich and famous pay to become fish food.

Zombie exterminators, Neeta Lyffe and Ted Hacker, travel to San Francisco for a zombie convention, a little sightseeing and some romance. But when the fish-food celebrities rise from their watery graves to attack San Francisco, their “working vacation” takes on new meaning.

It’s chainsaws, undead, and romance in this second novel by satirist Karina Fabian.



I'll announce the winner next Thursday.  Thanks!

32 comments:

Brian Knight said...

I like the third one. It gives the year, what is going on, and who the zombies are (possibly). It gives the where too. It also shares a little about why the zombie killer is going. Plus you mentioned chainsaws!! All this in a few sentences...that is your winner.

Kristen howe said...

#3 Karina. Congrats my friend. Kristenhowe@neo.rr.com.

Feywriter said...

I like the third one as well. Gives a better feel for the setting. The other two could happen anytime and anyplace. I think the voice is strongest as well. :)

andy angel said...

I like the first one myself

Nissa Annakindt said...

I thought the first one was a lot stronger than the second, and the third came in, well, third. DISTANT third.

The third turned me off because it starts with a number. Also, the fuel-from-feces thing is gross, and not in a good way.

Gloria Oren said...

For me the first was the most drawing one of the three. gloria.oren@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

I like the second one. There was enough to pique my interest, but not enough to be confusing. The first had too much info--I was puzzled by that very long organization name. The third one was too technical sounding.

Cindy
cswriter@yahoo.com

Mike Hays said...

I put my vote in for #1. It gives a little mental kickstart for readers of the first book and transitions into the sequel with a glimpse of things to come on the working vacation.

Can't wait for Book 2!

Mrs Mackerelsnapper,OP said...

I'm fond of the second, but the time period wasn't clear to me until I read #3, so perhaps you could fold them together?

Karina Fabian said...

Just wanted to say thanks to all who have commented. I'm not replying because I don't want to influence anyone else's decisions. Please spread the word. I'd really like to have 30 or 40 opinions at least.

Palace of Twelve Pillars said...

I vote for number 1
chris.weigand8@gmail.com

Matthew Ashworth said...

I like the style of the second one, but the third one gives more background on the setting, so I'd pick the 3rd one. Although as mentioned above, it'd probably be a good idea to combine the second and the third together.

Joseph Spencer said...

I thought the third one gave the most complete picture of what it's about. I thought it had the right blend of being informative, being funny and giving a glimpse into the novel.

Anonymous said...

Blogspot always says I'm not who I say I am. I'm Jake Elliot, for real!! It is me!

I love number three. If I was drinking something when I'd read it, it would have shot out in a spray through my nose. That is the best blurb I've read in awhile.

Anonymous said...

I like the third one as well.

H-K Carlton

Works of S. A. Bolich said...

I like #1 personally. I was a bit grossed out by the third one, and the second one seemed too dry. S. A. Bolich: author@sabolichbooks.com

Caprice Hokstad said...

#2 is the best one. #1 contains too much superfluous info (Ted's name, the long name of the memorial gardens) and loses the flow. While I have no problem with the idea of cars running on excrement, the words "feces" and "crap" would worry me that you're out for shock value. Neeta delivers on the humor and the unique zombie exterminator idea. You don't need poop to sell her.

Arthur Powers said...

#2. Reads well. Briefer than #1 but has as much information. Draws you in.

Anonymous said...

I liked the introductory sentence of 2. and the paragraph of 3.

Liz said...

Personally, I like #3, with the closing sentence of#2 (the "re-kill bit).

Anonymous said...

I like the 1st one. The first line is quick and to the point, and stirs my interest enough to keep reading.

Eric Diehl
www.ericdiehl.com

T.W. Fendley said...

I like the tagline and paragraph of #2 (minus the romance mention) and the last line of #3.

I'm for crap cars, but not in the tagline, and found fish-food celebrities confusing ( didn't immediately bring to my mind "sleeping with the fishes")

Becca Butcher said...

I vote for #4. #3 is good but if you're worried about a gross-out factor over the biofuel, I'd go with #4. It reads funnier. Made me chuckle. I'm soooo happy for you, Karina!

widdershins said...

My vote is for #2 - It has just the right amount of information and names of things to hook the attention without over explaining or grossing-out the uninitiated.

... Snoopy the zombie? ... priceless!!!

Beth Barany said...

I like #3 the best! It's funny, we have the date, we get a sense of conflict! And it's yucky in a funny way!

Sally_Odgers said...

Number 2 for me. The first one had me puzzled about what fish preserves had to do with zombies. However, I liked the start-up line, which is shared with No. 2. - so, 2 it is.

sashagirl said...

I like #1.
Kathryn Meyer Griffith

Amanda Borenstadt said...

I like #2.

Lelia Rose Foreman said...

I vote for number 2. To the point and tells me enough to know whether or not this is my kind of book.

Author Virginia Jennings said...

I like the second one... though I would add: -She's- to the beginning as though you were finishing up the introductory sentence "but not this weekend, she's on vacation". The first choice set me off with the long pronouns and the last two either left me confused as to what was going on and slightly grossed out at the mention of poo cars lolol. The second one makes me want to find out what is going on.

Congratulations by the way! :)

Tim Ward said...

#3. Like the time given, and feces sounds better than the #4 alternative. The #1 doesn't need the long title of the place where the dead rise.

Jacqueline Vick said...

Definitely #2. It's clean, it's enticing (the opening line), and it gives us just enough to make us want to read more.