Announcing Chaterday! Topic: Writers' Conferences

At the CWCO, I attended a wonderful chat by blogger Sarah Reinhard, and one of the topics was, "How do I get people to comment?" After all, we love comments, right? Well, she rather astutely noted that if we don't blog so as to invite conversation, most people won't comment.

Another thing I loved at this conference was how people learned from each other as well as from presenters. There's such a wealth of wisdom out there.

So I'm instituting Chatterday. Here's how it works: Each Saturday, I'll talk a very little bit on a topic and ask you for your wisdom and opinion. Let's share!

This week's topic: Do you attend writers' conferences? What do you like most about them? When do you get the most out of a conference and why?

Author-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

I have Author-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. It works like this:

I get ready to write a new scene of Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator. As I open Word, I see the previous files, and it reminds me that I still need to write a guest post for my April book tour.

I open a new document to start the guest post, but I remember that I wanted to do a coordinated campaign in conjunction with the tour, so I get some paper and a pencil and start mapping ideas. Mapping ideas reminds me that I wanted to do an e-mail campaign with a program I downloaded.

I open the program and realize I never put in my contact list. Since it's free, I have to do it by hand, so I open up Outlook to get the addresses. When Outlook is open, I see a message from a CWG member announcing the Sunday Night Chat guest. It's just a huge bio, and I think we really need a standard announcement format.

I call the person, and we discuss a format. I write her a template and a list of folks to send it to. I send her the template.

I see another e-mail from a friend asking me to post her book's press release on my website. I have a great list for sending press releases, which is perfect for her book, so I send it to her. This reminds me that I was working on my own contact list.

While writing the contact list, a friend IMs and asks why I am not using an online service. I realize then that my e-mail will only send to 200 people at a time and my list is much bigger. I call my internet server and they cannot change that, but they have an e-marketing service I can try for a month. On impulse, I sign up for it.

I read the service agreement and discover that to use their service, I must only have people who have opted in--but my first e-mail is to ask folks to opt-in. I call the provider again and they say that's fine, as long as there's not a lot of bounced-back. Now I'm worried about some of the older addresses in Outlook.

I go back to the original program, and debate using it to clear the list of bounce-backs then put the list in my paid service. I decide that's more trouble than it's worth and recopy my message to the paid service. My friend IMs with a link to a free service that does more than the one I just paid for.

I go to the free service and see so many features--but nothing that tells me that it will do what I want it to do. I decide to sign up for their webinar for tomorrow.

So, I have been "working" off and on for six hours. My e-mail list is incomplete and needs to be scrubbed. I do not have a message ready to send. I have not even decided on a service. My market plan/schedule is half done, my guest post is blank. I'm frustrated and stressed and feel technologically inept. Plus, I have not started on my scene.

I realize I have Author-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

So I write this blog.

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe II: Conference Fun

Ninja Monkey picture by Donovan84.

One thing I adore about writing conferences is that I always get the BEST ideas from the workshop homework.

This year, I chose three workshops to work on Neeta Lyffe II: I Left My Brains in San Francisco--Real-world worldbuilding and Obviously, God has a sense of humor, both done by my good friend Walt Staples; and Structuring characters, by Tanya Stowe.

What I loved about each of these (and the others I took) was that they gave just a little bit of theory, some practical examples, then presented a challenge for me to apply the ideas to my own work.

In the worldbuilding, we examined different aspects of creating a fictional world based on reality: doing research, seeing the world through your characters eyes and creating characters that are a natural result of your world. I already knew my world pretty well from Neeta Lyffe, but not only did this give me a chance to apply it to San Francisco (and to determine where I need more research), I also came up with some funny ideas--like the Ninja Monkey Dance! (It "was" all the rage in the early 2020s.) I also rounded out where the zombie invasion will come from, and came up with a couple of minor characters. Here's one.

Chenille: A student at ArtsInstitute-San Francisco, Chenille is into environmental art. She's a fangirl of Hollister Grant, the scientific "genius" behind the Global Fattening theory, which says that climate destabilization is not caused by warming or cooling but by the uneven distribution of the human population due to rampant urbanization. When Grant returns as a zombie (which Neeta re-kills), Chenille's deepest desire is fulfilled when Ted affirms that yes, the fish had indeed nibbled at his corpse, before he returned to shore.

In humor, Walt explained some of the basic conventions of humor--slice of life, the double-take, the change-up pitch, the build and pop--and challenged us to write something for each. I'd never dissected humor before, and Walt is as funny in his lectures as in his stories. Here's my "final exam":

When they entered the trade show floor, Ted grabbed Neeta's forearm. "Rule One of trade shows," he instructed. "Always stop first and take it allllll in."

Neeta made a visual sweep of the floor. Dark fabric on piped made booths where entrepreneurs demonstrated and sold the tool of her trade, some with flat-screens playing videos to show their superior effectiveness. This year, the cleaning products and containers dominated the row farthest away from the food court; at least their complaints had paid off. Nothing like trying to enjoy the convention center's clam chowder with someone spraying chlorine bleach from a supersoaker only a dozen feet away. That aisle had been reserved for protective equipment: rubber boots and biohazard suits, gloves and motorcycle helmets. Vendors selling the more practical equipment took up the middle. Swords and chainsaws, and…was that a lirpa? Every year, he brings a few of those, and every year some Star Trek fan figures if he can't use it at work, at least it will look impressive on his wall.

To the back, they saw a spout of flame and heard a shout, but the sprinklers didn't go off. Someone must have gotten to the extinguishers in time. The flamethrower guys usually knew what they were doing.

And, of course, sticking out like a guilded thumb, a stage for Zombie Death Extreme. Saturday, she was going to have spend half the day there schmoozing people in the name of a contract she only signed to get out of debt last year.

She shrugged. Looked like any other zombie exterminator trade show her mom had dragged her through as a kid, but when she looked at Ted, she saw his eyes glowing like it was Christmas.

"So?" he asked. "Monofilament swords first, or the flamethrowers?"

"Remember our budget?" she said.

"Hey, a guy can dream!"

I never took a creative writing course, so Tanya's information was wonderfully new to me--about the character arc, the "dark moment" every protagonist must have, relationship barriers, tangible objectives... I must admit, it was so late at night when I did that assignment, I read it as "tangible OBJECT" and was rather confused until the next lesson. Tanya also patiently led me through several tries in pinning some of this down, as a result of which, I understand my "love triangle" of Neeta, Ted and Marcel a lot better. I came up with a fun scene where they are at a convention dance, and Marcel tries to woo Neeta on the dance floor and does a pretty fair job of it, but Ted steps in and wins her over with--you guess it!--the Ninja Monkey.

A fun advantage of this was that I showed my family the Ninja Monkey. My husband danced it with me, and my daughter just stared and shrugged. "And my friends wonder where I get it."

The CWCO is done for a year, and I can't say I'm not relieved--it's a lot of work--but I'm so grateful for the wonderful presenters and the opportunity to build up my book. If you have a chance to attend a conference, online or live, then I highly encourage it!

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Psyche Excerpt

This is an excerpt from Chapter 11, chosen at random.

Tasmae drowned in cold, heavy waters; bathed in fire; was torn from the inside.  The whole time, images and emotions pounded up on her: anger and hate, despair and confusion, passion and ambition.


Make it stop! Make it stop! Makeitstop!


That’s enough! Her warrior self exploded.  Gardianju! Tell me what this means.  We don’t have time for this.


Too many signals, all in conflict.  She hung by a thread over an abyss, but when she blinked, it turned into a padded pink box.  She screamed and tried to climb.


The rope snapped.


She fell.





Tasmae was again flung from the Remembrance, this time full of adrenalin.  Taking advantage of her guardians’ surprise, she dashed from the room.


She ran through the empty compound thinking only that the walls were too close, the air too heavy, the shadows full of phantoms ready to ambush.  She cried with delight to see the sun burning bright.  She drank in its heat.


A unicorn waited at the door.


Despite muscles that felt bruised and hands that felt raw, she threw herself onto his back and let him carry her to an open field.


Once there, however, she panicked at being alone with the images left from the Remembrance.  She couldn’t make herself go back, either.  Leinad would take her, by force, if necessary, and make her complete the Remembrance.  I can’t let him, she’d thought wildly, I can’t. 


She couldn’t be alone, and she couldn’t seek out anyone Kanaan.  Not like this.  She was contaminated with the insanities of Gardianju; she couldn’t risk touching someone’s mind now.  She was barely handling it, and it was part of her Talent.  No healer would touch her, no friend offer comfort.


Her mind reeling, she slid from the unicorn’s back and sat upon the ground, legs crossed, arms wrapped around her stomach, rocking slightly.  She didn’t know why she was doing it.  She couldn’t make herself stop.  The unicorn nuzzled her gently, sending a cautious query, but she didn’t respond.  She was trapped.  Alone.


Suddenly, an everyn dove out of the sky and landed beside her, wheedling its way onto her lap.  No, sister, he told her.  You are never alone.


Another everyn joined, then another and another, until she was surrounded by a dozen or more, until her lap and arms were full of small dragon-like creatures, their cheeks stroking her skin, wings enveloping her.  Carefully, they teased the tortured memories of Gardianju from her, replacing them with affection and reassurance. 


We are the first of the Greater Beasts and brothers to the animals; share the chaos with us.  We can handle it.  We have done this duty before; it is our God-sent Talent.  It is our avocation, our joy to help you as our ancestors had helped other Miscria.  Take our aid, sister.  Accept our love.


They guided her through a cleansing, led her gently to Divine Love.  Words floated through her mind:  Mercifully guard my every thought and grant that I may always watch for Your light, and listen to Your voice, and follow Your gracious inspirations.  I cling to You and give myself to You and ask You, by Your compassion to watch over me in my weakness…


She blinked, suddenly aware of her surroundings.  Not only everyn surrounded her now:  unicorns and some lesser beasts had joined the circle of love and support.  A large, wolflike creature had shoved his way through enough to lay its shaggy head upon her lap, and she scratched its ears gratefully.  Normally, they were solitary creatures, feral and sometimes dangerous.  She thought she knew which images it had shared for her sake.


It tolerated one more scratch and took off with an explosion of motion that sent several everyn flying and squawking in protest.  She found herself laughing, and thanked the beasts who had saved her from herself and helped her back to sanity.  Then she closed her eyes again, gave her gratitude to God, and felt His love in reply.  The words came back to her.  Sometimes, the Miscria were given words, like the recitation to call the Ydrel.  But these were not from the Remembrance, or from Deryl.  Even the accent was different.


Joshua.  Tasmae rose and asked the unicorn to take her to the human.

Progress on Domestic Goddess Goals

Here it is, March, and I thought I'd give you all an update on my domestic goddess goals, mostly because Rob ran across this cartoon on xkcd.com and said, "This used to be us!"

The biggest one for me this year was to cook at home more often. We are terrible about fast food mainly because I get too involved in writing and forget to prepare anything, then get lazy and ask Rob to grab burgers on the way home. This year, I wanted to try new recipes and cook at home five or six mights a week (we like to go to a restaurant on the weekend, and usually catch fast food or pizza at least one night because of lessons, etc.)

So far, I've not tried any new recipes, nor has anyone really cared about it. However, I am doing very well at having a dinner ready. The crock pot has especially been my friend with this. Sometimes, I even put a roast to cook in it and leave it for days--fantastic! What's even nicer is that we've rediscovered "leftovers soup." For the beef, anyway; only Amber and I prefer my chicken soup of Campbell's, alas. That's OK. The chicken is great for salads and sandwiches, and the broth can be used for cooking the next chicken--or tossing into the beef soup.

The Flylady regime continues to go well--in fact, my supercleaner mom came over for a week and told me she was bored one day when I left her home to run errands because there wasn't anything to clean.

The dining room chairs, as you know are recovered--and we made a matching valance, table runner and pot holders, plus 10 napkins!

Reading Scripture and praying daily still isn't 100 percent, but I'm much better than last year.

We're still working on the kids and homework thing. They are reminded daily as part of their Fabulous Five; and I check for missing assignments each Wednesday and track grades each Friday. We have the teachers helping us to help Steven learn to better track his assignments. He's always been scatterbrained that way.

The credit card thing has not gone as well as I'd hoped, since the boys took up skiing. However, between credit card debt and finding a sport all my men love, I'll take the sport! They all need the physical outlet and it's bringing them closer together. Some things are worth the debt. However, we are working to cut down on incidentals--like fast food--so that's helping, as is my selling more stories.

Of course, exercise is my other downfall. My arm, after showing some great improvement, took a turn downward again; this time in a new, weird spot. So more physical therapy and more being careful with the sword. However, I have no excuse for not doing the daily workouts other than I just get lazy.

Gotta work on the laundry and cooking thing with the kids. I actually forgot I'd set that goal.

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter edits-Wrap Up

It's done! I'm sending it off to the publisher! Mind Over Psyche (was Mind Over Matter) is finally finished and I feel really good about it. I'm sure my terrific editor at DragonMoon will have some suggestions, but in the meantime, here's a wrap-up:

Beginning Word count before rewrite: 132,000 approx
Word count after re-write: 99,427 (557,249 characters)
Word Count after backwards edit: 98,640 (553,096 characters)
--# changes found in backward edit: 1100, approximately

Major changes:
--Flashbacks made real-time
--Subplot removed/diminished
--Deryl's motivation made stronger
--Character I thought would come back didn't
--First chapter trashed and elements woven into subsequent chapters
--2-page chapter incorporated into preceding chapter so that chapter lengths are more even.

I'll be at the Catholic Writers Conference Online next week, but I'll post an excerpt for Thursday.

The Boys Upstairs by Jane Lebak

Synopsis: Jay Farrell, a crippled priest, has begun housing homeless boys in his rectory. Once a street kid himself, he was riding the rocket-train to a lifetime in prison until the day he drove over a land mine in Iraq. Today he works at an inner-city parish, running a soup kitchen and struggling to manage an impoverished church.

With temperatures below zero and falling a few nights before Christmas, Jay's estranged brother Kevin dumps three more children on his front porch. Kevin, a cop who can't believe in God after all the evil he's seen, hasn't spoken to Jay in years, but he knows Jay will at least give the kids a place to stay. It isn't over yet, though. As they work together to meet the children's needs, they must confront the long-buried emotions that have divided them so long.

The Boys Upstairs examines the real gift of the holiday season and how hope can transform the ones society condemns as not worth saving.

Mini Review: I read this aloud to my 10-year-old son, and he really enjoyed it. I must say that I had a hard time at some points keeping my voice clear because the scenes choked me up. Despite the title, this is really a story about two brothers finding each other again. I would have liked more about the children--perhaps Jane will consider a second novella? I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a heartwarming story no matter what time of year.

Purchase Link: Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/The-Boys-Upstairs-ebook/dp/B004EYT9NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297290893&sr=8-1

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter edits

Sorry this is late, but I did finish the backwards edit on Mind Over Mind.

Incidentally, I'm changing the title (publisher approving, of course) to Mind Over Psyche because it fits the plot better. I'd like to use Mind Over Matter for last one, I think.

What's a backwards edit? You start with the last sentence of the manuscript, read and evaluate it, make changes. Then you read the next to the last sentence, evaluate and make changes. Then the one before that... You keep going until the first sentence of the manuscript.

So why edit backwards?

It forces you to look at each sentence on its own merit.
It keeps you from getting caught up in the plot.
It stops your mind from filling in blanks based on context.
It lets you look at a sentence for language use rather than mere utility.
Sometimes, you catch logical disconnects that you didn't see reading forwards.

Here are a couple of examples:

Man, did I use the words "suddenly" and "just" a lot. Neither I nor my critiquers (save one) notice when caught in the plot, but when backwards, I realized I'd used it several times on one page.

I caught a lot of passive voice. Taking the sentences out of context made me more aware of passive voice (was, is are) and progressive (am doing, was doing). Many times, I could cut those. Ditto for adverbs.

I realized that I had Deryl riding a unicorn BEFORE he put his clothes back on. Lady Godiva, he is not! Changed that.

I found places I could add more foreshadowing.

I discovered one place where I headhopped. It was seemless when reading it forward, but jarring backward.

I made a lot of sentences stronger.

Old: He was aware, too, or how hard Tasmae had hit him and how much his neck and throat ached.

New: His neck throbbed from Tasmae's choking and his head with it.

I also had the joy of realizing that I love this book just as much backward as forward. When I can say that, I know I've done well!


Now, I have to put in the changes. The manuscript is 98,350 words. What do you think it will be when I'm done?

On Letter Writing

I have a good friend that I met online. Walt is part of the Catholic Writers' Guild, and was president for a while, and he and I have critiqued each other's works. He's very funny, and as a parent of grown kids helped me get through some tough times with my son last year. We e-mailed just about every day. This year, however, changes in his life have meant he's gone offline. However, that doesn't mean our friendship has ended. Walt is a letter writer.

Remember letters? Not those year-in-reviews people send out each December, but actual off-the-cuff newsy handwritten letters? I used to write letters all the time, until the Internet and online friendships made e-mail, IM and chats the communication mediums of choice. Now, I try to send my godkids a postcard or short letter once a month, but that's about it.

This month, however, I've had to rediscover the art of letter writing. I thought I'd share with you some of the things I think makes a great letter, and how to write them.

1. Take your time. Unlike e-mail or IM, you can stop and think, put the letter aside and pick it up at the end of the day. Just be sure to get it in the mailbox eventually.

2. Respond to the other person's letters in your own words. Unlike e-mail, where you can paste a direct quote from their e-mail and then your thought, you have to compose your thoughts with theirs in mind. This can mean a little extra work, but it also requires a little more thought. It becomes conversation instead of parroting.

3. IM is good for the minutiae of life, but in letters, go beyond that. Your reactions, your ideas, your gripes--share yourself not just your to-do list. If you have business, talk business, but if this is a letter to a friend as well, tell them a little about your day, the kids, whatever.

4. Have fun. Write the kind of letter you want to read, too!

Marketing on Amazon

This past week, I let my novels sit and stew while I concentrated on setting up the Catholic Writers Conference Online and put some effort into my author pages on Amazon.

This is something I've been meaning to do for a long time. Amazon is right now the big bear of online selling, so it should not be ignored. I've read many success stories of authors who say their sales increases are due to working Amazon. So this week, I made a list of things to do and got on them.

First, I had to log into amazon's author central. If you do not have an author's central account, get one.https://authorcentral.amazon.com This lets you do a lot of things including adding information about you and your books.

Next, I updated my bio, added some pictures. Simple stuff, though I don't think I'll really have a lot of sales success from them.

Then I opened up each book's page and got to work on the info. This is the stuff like reviews, summaries, etc. Your publisher should fill in some of it, but a lot gets left blank. I put in reviews, the back-cover information and revised the product descriptions where they were the same as the back-cover blurb. I also added my genre-specific bio.

There's an interesting section called "From the Author." You're supposed to add something about why you wrote the book, etc. I put in some snippets from interviews, a guest post I wrote on building the world for Neeta Lyffe, etc. (Time-saving key: re-use what you already have if you can.) It made for an interesting mix, I think.

I read an interesting blog about the importance of tagging books on Amazon, so once or twice a week, I ask folks to tag my books. I post the request on Twitter and Facebook, then to whatever genre-specific group I belong to. I don't know the results yet, but I'll let you know. I've got a record of my amazon ratings.

Also on my list are some sillies like listmania, joining a group or two, etc. I'm aiming for a small task a day.

What are your ideas for Amazon?

Ultimate Duty by Marva Dasef.

Today, I'm promoting Ultimate Duty by Marva Dasef. We did a promo exchange and I messed up and forgot to do it in December like I promised. Doesn't make the book any less worthy of checking out, though!

Synopsis:

Remy Belieux, a woman born into a life of servitude on a repressive factory planet, is desperate for a different life. When she's accepted into the Space Service Academy, run by the organization that enslaves her planet, she discovers the truth behind generations of rebellion. Now, she must decide what to believe, where her ultimate duty lies, and fight for more than her life against impossible odds.



Marva;s website: http://marvadasef.com
Publisher Eternal Press http://www.eternalpress.biz/book.php?isbn=9781615722280

Amazon ebook:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004ASND8O

Amazon Print:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1615722297


INTERVIEW

How long have you been writing?

I lot of writers answer "my whole life." I doubt that. At least, I didn't come out of the womb with pen and paper in hand. Would have been interesting if I did.

What's your writing schedule like?

Being retired, I write when I feel like it. When I am working on something new, I treat it like a job with comfortable working hours and long lunches. In other words, I write every day for some number of hours, but I don't set a daily goal of any kind. The only time I did that was in a Nanowrimo a few years ago. That 50K ended up as a 38K kid's adventure, which I self-pubbed.

Do you plot out your stories before you write or do you just work it out as you go along?

I have been known to write fairly long outlined summaries. Most often, I stray from the outline and become a pantser instead of a plotter.

When did you first know you wanted to become a writer?

I didn't write fiction except as assignments through school. A Creative Writing course in college got me to thinking. But those thoughts were put aside as I focused on technical writing, which made me plenty of money over the years. I did write a couple of short stories, but never pursued publication. When I retired I dragged out the few stories I had written to see if they were worth salvaging. One of those stories was "Pressure Drill." I rewrote a bit and sent it out. It was published not once, but twice. I liked the character and wrote another story about her. This also sold. Eventually I added enough to make it a novella titled "First Duty." It was published by Sam's Dot Publishing in 2008. When the contract expired, I decided to not renew it (it's still being sold at The Genre Mall) because I was thinking of a lot of good stuff to add including a few steamy love scenes. That made it adult reading. I then sold it to Eternal Press, and here we are now with the new and improved "Ultimate Duty."

Were you a science fiction lover from way back or was this a genre you only recently turned your talents to?

SF is my first choice in reading, although I enjoy fantasy and paranormal as well. When I was 15 or so, a friend of my brother's gave me a copy of "Stranger in a Strange Land." I was hooked, lined, and sinkered.

What other genre/genres would you love to write/dabble in, given the choice?

I've written just about every genre already. I found some genres I won't write, like women's literature. To be honest, I have no idea what "women" want to read as far as contemporary non-genre books. They bore me, so I couldn't write one if I tried. I'm dallying with the idea of steampunk, but I'd have to read a lot more before I'd feel confident.

So, what's up next?

A mystery/suspense novella titled "Missing, Assumed Dead" is scheduled for July 2011 from MuseItUp. MuseItUp also bought the first book in a middle-grade fantasy series about a witch who can't spell right. It's titled "Bad Spelling" (get it?) and is scheduled for October 2011. They also have books 2 and 3 and I'm hoping they'll take the entire series.

I have some ideas another book in the Witch series. My beta readers have clamored for a follow up starring the witch girl's brother, a half-vamp, half-warlock smartass with huge magical talent. You can guess the sibling rivalry there.

EXCERPT:

Remy and Garrett arrived at the outer wall path that led to the dock ports. Remy hoped at least one shuttle was still attached to the station. She dropped to the floor and peered down the slope of the passageway. Two guards stood at the entrance to bay 5. Luckily, they faced the opposite direction. Remy slid back and pointed silently, then held up two fingers. Garrett nodded and pointed left and then at himself. Remy nodded.

With no way to get any closer unseen, they must use speed instead. Both stepped back a couple of paces so they’d hit the corner at full tilt. A nod from Garrett and they sprinted through the twenty meters separating them from the guards. One guard turned to look only when Remy and Garrett were close enough to attack. The guard yelled, “Halt!” as he raised the barrel of his blaster. The second guard turned with a confused expression and didn’t manage to raise his own weapon before Remy reached him.

Remy felt her mind and body slip into fighting mode. Time slowed for her and she noted every detail of the guard’s stance. She leaped high in the air, her legs coiled like springs. The second guard finally lifted his rifle but never had the chance to fire. Remy drove both feet into his abdomen, slamming him against the wall with the force of her strike. In the low gravity, she landed easily on her feet crouched and ready. She crossed her arms against her torso, grabbing the guard’s belt with her left hand and prepared to strike with her right. The man’s eyes widened when Remy’s backhand arced toward him. The force of the blow across his jaw sent him tumbling to the floor.

She glanced over at Garrett and saw he had already disabled the other guard, now curled on the floor moaning. Garrett kicked him in the head with an almost gentle tap. The connection of his shod foot on the guard’s temple did the job, knocking the man unconscious.

Garrett walked over to Remy’s guard and bent down. He pressed two fingers against the side of the man’s neck. “Good. He’ll live.”

“If I wanted him dead, he’d be dead,” Remy snarled. Her stomach twisted in disgust at herself. How could she even think it, never mind say it out loud. She’d never killed anybody and the thought of it made her sick. Before now she had regretted not killing Jens on Starbird. She shook her head. No, she did not regret letting him live. Everything had changed. Now she was truly a rebel, wanted dead or alive. The idea startled her. She wondered when she had made the decision to change roles from infiltrator to freedom fighter.

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter edits

I love my Critique buddies!

I got back a few comments on Mind Over Mind last week--not a lot, but very helpful.

Everyone agreed the first chapter was too confusing--the POV was from a minor character so it set up the wrong expectation, the transition to the second chapter was jarring, and no one really understood the information I was trying to get across. After re-writing the entire chapter twice, I decided it was simply not going to work. Instead, I split what I needed into a different chapter and a scene, told it from a major character's POV and wove them in later. Then I had to make sure the rest of the manuscript matched up, but it's a lot better.

One critiquer didn't like the final conflict, and I realized I needed to do more foreshadowing. That wasn't too hard. She also thought it was too long, but going over it, I didn't agree and didn't know where to cut, so I am leaving it for the second-round critiquers.

I have done the read-aloud test, this time alone for time sake and because some of the topic is not really suited for a 10-year-old boy, but I really enjoyed it. Next job, the backward-by-sentence check for grammar, wording and typos.

A Birth of New Freedom by Robert G. Pielke

I was asked to tour this book by one of my publishers. I read part of it. If you are a civil war history buff, you will get a kick out of it. However, I personally had a hard time getting caught up in the story; I felt it moved too slowly.

YouTube video book trailer embed html code:


Summary:

When a stranger carrying a shiny, metalic valise steps aboard a train carrying Abraham Lincoln home from a 2 year stint in Congress, everyone stares, wondering about the stranger’s odd clothing and strange footwear with the word Nike emblazoned on them.

When the strange man shows up in Lincoln’s office at the White house 14 years later, still wearing the same clothes, carrying the same valise and looking not a day older, the president and his staff know something is odd.

But when Edwin Blair opens his valise and projects a 3d image of the Earth on Lincoln’s wall, then proceeds to tell a fanciful tale about time traveling aliens preparing to land at Gettysburg on July 3rd, they are sure they’ve met a lunatic.
Unfortunately for them, they’re wrong.

A New Birth of Freedom: The Visitor, is the first science fiction time travel book in a new alternate history series that follows the adventures of Edwin Blair and the aliens known as Pests as they chase each other through all the centuries of Earth’s past, present and future.

Blog Tour web site:
http://anewbirthoffreedom-thevisitor.blogspot.com/

Robert G. Pielke's web site:
http://www.robertgpielke.com/

Robert G. Pielke's Bio:
Robert G. Pielke, a native of Baltimore, Maryland, now lives in Claremont, California. He earned a B.A. in History at the University of Maryland, an M. Div. in Systematic Theology at the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg, and a Ph.D. in Social Ethics from the Claremont Graduate School.

He taught on ground and online for countless years at George Mason University in Virginia, El Camino College in California and online for the University of Phoenix. Now happily retired from “the job,” he is doing what he always wanted to do since he wrote his first novel at ten in elementary school. It was one paragraph, three pages long and, although he didn’t know it at the time, it was alternate history.

His academic writings have been in the area of ethics, including a boring academic treatise called Critiquing Moral Arguments, logic, and popular culture. Included in the latter is an analysis of rock music entitled You Say You Want a Revolution: Rock Music in American Culture. He has also published short stories, feature articles, film and restaurant reviews. His novels include a savagely satirical novel on America and its foibles, proclivities and propensities, Hitler the Cat Goes West, and an alternate history, science fiction novel, The Mission.

Most recently, he has updated and revised his book on rock music, which is being republished by McFarland & Co.

He swims daily, skis occasionally, cooks as an avocation, watches innumerable movies, collects rock and roll concert films, is an avid devotee of Maryland crabs and maintains a rarely visited blog filled with his social and political ravings. His favorite film is the original Hairspray; his favorite song is “A Day in the Life”; his favorite pizza is from the original Ledo Restaurant in College Park, MD; and he is a firm believer in the efficacy of “sex, drugs and rock and roll.” Somehow his family and friends put up with him.

Order from Altered Dimensions Press: http://www.sciencefictionpaperbackbooks.com/a-birth-of-new-freedom

My Novel's Journey: Brainstorm

This week was spent trying to clear out my to-do box while I waited for critiques (of which I received a crit on the first couple of chapters. Sigh.) Anyway, just because I wasn't writing does not mean the brain wasn't working, and I'm jut dumping the ideas here for grins:

Mind Over Matter: I don't have a good connection between Joshua's music and Deryl's sanity. (Yes, there's a link.) Need to put it in, and I think I can do it in two sentences! I also want to make the rap scene a little more tense, so I'm going to have Joshua blank out at the wrong moment, and Tasmae push him into getting creative--hence, the rap. (Yeah, I know, this doesn't make sense unless you read the story. Just go with it.)

Neeta Lyffe: Gonna add some voodoo. Zombie Exterminator Marcel Chelemas has a thing for Neeta and wants to get Ted out of the way, so he makes a voodoo doll. When Neeta discovers this, she does what any good girlfriend would do--kicks Chelemas where it hurts most, then scrambles for the doll. They'll be in a knock-down-drag-out fight when Neeta get's a 9-1-1 call on a zombie, and the two drop their fight to go after the undead.

Ted is going to show his goofy-genius. I never realized he had a little Inspector Clouseau in him.

Mind Over Spirit: This is the third book in the Mind Over trilogy, and I've been playing with it in my head--mostly trying to figure out how to get Deryl back to earth where he can meet up with Joshua and Sachiko. The terrible winter here has given me some ideas. I may close down the east coast for a couple of days. I also decided that Sachiko is going to have started out interning to be an OB, then want to change to surgery, which will be a source of tension between her and Joshua, because it means more time in school and putting off starting their family, which he's anxious to do. The real question in the plot line for me is whether Deryl meets Perry again (Perry is the kid he almost killed telepathically which led to his getting committed in the first place.) I want them to, because I think it'd be good for Deryl, but I'm not sure the plot is going to bend enough for it. Maybe Deryl need to keep this pain so he can better help his archenemy, Alugiac.

My Novel's Journey: Neeta Lyffe II: My big, fat, twisted quandry

Location, location, location!

One thing I've enjoyed about Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator is that it takes place a few decades in the future in real cities. I had a lot of fun giving new twists to old locales and businesses (like when I called the state licensing division for some advice on how they would license a zombie exterminator. I'd like to think he still talks about that one.)

Of course, it also means I have some quandries keeping it real while fantastic. For Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, I spent an entire day on Google Earth looking at a half-block empty lot trying to decide if it worked for my finale. This time, my problem is hotel accommodations.

Neeta and Ted are going to a conference, and Ted's mom, who's hoping to give them a little nudge in the romance arena, changes their hotel reservations to someplace luxurious and swanky. My brother-in-law suggested the W, which is great since Neeta was an arts major, and there are galleries all around it. Then we got to joking that by 2040, they may have changed letters. He suggested the X, but I thought it's be funny for them to stay at the Y. (The YMCA could be going back to its original model of a shelter after finding that just being a cheap family gym isn't working financially.)

Of course, the folks who own the W might not find it so funny.

Thus, my quandry: Do I call the W and see if I can use their hotel in an updated setting? Ted can mix up the letters if they don't want it bought out by the YMCA. Or do I find a nearby location and build a Y? I can burn down the Rochester Big and Tall. (Note to Homeland Security: Just for the book! I swear! We like Big & Tall. Really!) Then the Y could buy it out, put a gym on the ground floor, shelters and cheap accommodations like hostels on several floors, and have the top two floors just for luxury suites that pay for the rest. (Ted's mom is community-minded in her own way.)

Got to admit; I'm kind of liking the Y idea. I can have metal detectors as you walk in; a place to check in knives, extra security on the top floors. Neeta will be freaking out until they get to their suite. Then she can freak out for a whole different reason--

--but that would be a spoiler!

Review of Residential Aliens, Issue 5 (SF MAG)

Jungle Statue (c) 2009 Jason Zampol of http://www.zampolart.com/


Residential Aliens is an e-zine of "spiritually infused" science fiction and fantasy, published by Lyn Perry. It's been building a really good rep among Christian spec-fic writers and readers.

First, a little about the philosophy of the magazine itself, from Lyn:

What does “spiritually infused” mean exactly? Well, it doesn’t necessarily mean that each story is “spiritual” (what some might call, “religious”) or has a certain moral to it. Not that there isn’t a place for specifically religious material. You’ll read what some would term “Christian” fiction within the pages and web pages of ResAliens. But for me, it is a mindset with which I approach almost every song, film, or book. I embrace the arts – and literature in particular – from a spiritual perspective. That is, I come to a story ready to engage the transcendent or eternal message or theme within that work of art.

My small print disclaimer also states: “Opinions expressed within this issue do not necessarily reflect those of the authors or the publisher. Each story is a work of fiction.” For those inclined to get hot and bothered when stories don’t quite capture what they feel is God’s revealed truth on a particular matter, just remember…they’re just that, stories.

Lyn is serious, when he says it's a wide field, and that these are stories and thus meant to be enjoyed as stories. The first story in issue five, "Where the Sun Don't Shine" Jeff Parish did not strike me as especially spiritual--far from it--but it is one of the most original and hilarious stories I've ever read. Disease--or gnomish butt pirates? I laughed out loud.

The other stories were all very well written.

Not Your Kind of Heathen by Erin M. Kinch is about a vampire hunter whose main weapon is faith, but says a lot about those who want to use their faith vs. those who want to talk about it.

The Noble Experiment by Pat R. Steiner has a more literary, Americana kind of feel-not my kind of writing, but nicely done.

Rockets Over Éireann by Kristen Lee Knapp is creepy, message-driven and could happen today as easily as in the future. Shivers!

A Heroine’s Death by Billy Wong takes an interesting look on defying death, or perhaps noble zombie-ism. Take your pick. Good read!

Azieran: Lokxenthuul by Christopher Heath reads like an ancient legend in pace and approach.

Protein by Gustavo Bondoni: Sick! Interesting story, but again, the kind of creepy I could do without.

I'd recommend this and other issues of Residentail Aliens to anyone who wants some well-written science fiction and fantasy, regardless of your spiritual leanings. A good story is a good story--and you'll find them here.

Purchase print and download) at their storefront: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/resaliens

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter--what I hope to get from my critiquers

Mind Over Matter is off to my crit crew, which is usually a few trusted readers who are also good writers, plus a couple of folks who volunteer.

There's a difference between a critique and an edit that a lot of folks don't get. Edits are very specific and are usually corrections rather than suggestions. Naturally, finding typos constitutes and edit. Going through a manuscript and picking out all the passive voice, is IMHO, an edit. Edits also are focused on what is wrong in a story.

Critiques are more general and broader reaching--comments on voice, point of view, plot progression and the like. Sometimes, these combine with edits, like if a critiquer points out an instance of head-hopping. (That's changing the point of view from one character to another in the middle of a paragraph or scene.) Critiques also focus on what's right. So a critique might sound like
"I didn't believe Joshua's motivation when he..."
"You mentioned this fact four times. We get it already!"
"This is an intense scene!"
"I love how you..."
"You do really well when you ____ in this scene; I'd like to see you do more of that in _____chapter."
"This flashback threw me out of the story; could you rewrite it in realtime and put it earlier?"

I'm not looking for a line-by-line, because I'm not ready for that, and I also do pretty well with that on my own. However, I'm hoping I can get some good feedback on the book as a whole.

We're going to Renovation--World SF Con

We're going to Renovation! That's this year's WORLD SF CON, and it's in Reno, Nevada--someplace we can drive to! Rob is going all out getting us a fancy hotel room, so we'll be celebrating our 20th anniversary a little late (10 months or so) but in style!

I had a lot of fun going to World Fantasy Con while in California, and I know it's going to be even better this year. Not only do I know some of the people, but Rob will be with me, which always makes things better. The only thing that could make this a dream come true would be for Infinite Space, Infinite God to win (or even place for) a Hugo. Of course, as an anthology, it only qualifies in the Best Related Work category, but wouldn't it be cool? Not just for me and the contributors, but for faith-based science fiction, which is an underexplored subgenre.

Ah, to dream!

Anyway, I'd love to get a list of folks who are attending who know me. Maybe we can meet up. If you're going, contact me. Let's make plans!

Link to Renovation Website: http://www.renovationsf.org/index.php

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter edits

It is done!

I finished the major revisions of Mind Over Matter Thursday afternoon. I knocked it down from 132,000 words to 98,500, primarily by killing a subplot and some deep background, plus removing a few redundancies. I've got it with some friends for a general critique of plot progression and character, to make sure I didn't cut too much and leave important points unexplained. In the meantime, I plan to let it sit until Monday, when I'll read it out loud to check the flow, then print it and read it backwards to make sure the sentences are free of errors and written as well as possible.

This is the most extensive revision of a manuscript I've ever done. I found it interesting that I could cut so much that seemed so very important when I was writing it, and come up with a better story. I remember reading that Spider Robinson had a similar experience. He would send a story to (I think it was) Amazing, and Campbell, the editor, would send it back saying, "Great story! Cut it by a third." He said he'd sweat over each word, believe the idea impossible, do it anyway, and come up with a better story as a result.

I think I've greatly improved Mind Over Matter. I can't wait to get a pub date on it!

My Novel's Journey: Mind Over Matter edits--lesson time

Last week, I didn't talk much about the lessons I've learned--or knew and applied--in my editing marathon, so I thought I'd talk about a three now.

Less is More: Last week, I met my goal of cutting 32,000 words, and I think I can cut more. Some of it was redundancy and a cutesy parceling out of bits of info when really, just saying it didn't hurt things at all. However, I also cut out a subplot, some favorite scenes, a couple of instances when we saw an event from two character POVs. Rather than losing the richness of the story, it has made the primary conflict harder-hitting and the story moves faster.

Kill the sacred subplot. I loved the subplot of Joshua's failed romance. I used it to show the differences between Kanaan romance and human. Also, his ex shows up near the end. (No spoilers on how, other than it's awesome.) Nonetheless, I spent way too much time in background and flashback for something that ended even before Mind Over Mind. Some of it was gut-wrenching writing, too, but let's face it: Josh is stuck on an alien planet. Is he going to stress over an affair gone bad? It distracted from the main theme. Machete time! Subplots should support the theme.

Be open to change: I started the rewrite process by re-reading the hardcopy and making notes. After about the fourth chapter,however, I didn't even look at the notes because the revision moved far beyond the simple changes I'd planned. The notes helped to jumpstart my brain, but as a character-driven seat-of-the-pants writer, I get a lot of energy by letting my characters take control. Even in revisions, I'm a pantster.